I'm not sure if this the right place to post this, but I wanted to give this a shot.
I grew up in a Christian family. I was supposedly saved when I was young. I don't remember that, but I do remember being baptized. Regardless, I am trusting in Jesus, but I can't put a date on when I was really saved and I hate that. I have prayed the sinners prayer many times (I know it's not the prayer that saves). I know I am a sinner in need of Jesus for salvation and I am trusting in Him as Lord and Savior and am following Him. And yet, I can't get a sense of assurance of salvation.
I truly feel like God has been working in my life lately. A certain event happened about a year ago that I feel was God getting my attention. And get my attention He did and since then I feel He has been working in my life. I've gotten more involved in church: I attend most services, participate in our prayer services and meetings, go out on our evangelism events, made myself pray out loud and lead in prayer because I felt He was leading me to do that. And I know none of these works save me. It's what Jesus did. I feel He has been working in my life, and I have been putting in a real effort to seek Him. And yet, I can't get an assurance of salvation.
Instead I have this constant anxiety. At one moment, I feel like I'm not saved and feel anxious about that. Another moment I feel I'm saved but am anxious because I feel I've sinned by saying some like, "today was a great day" to someone when in reality it was a good day, so I feel I lied and need to ask for forgiveness and go to that person and be like, "yeah I lied when I said it was a great day, it was actually a good day" and that will eat at me and eat at me. In all this, I don't know if this is God prompting me, or if the enemy at work, or if it's my own heart condemning me. And it's just wearing on me to the point I feel I can't do this Christian walk. But I refuse to turn away.
I know a big part of my questioning of salvation is the fact I don't have a date to my salvation and don't have the, "I realized I wasn't saved and then trusted in the Lord and then my life was transformed" story. And I feel other Christians are so much more spiritual than me so that makes me question things.
I'm just very exhausted and am reaching out to fellow believers for encouragement and advice, and to see if any of you have struggled too. I apologize if this is posted in the wrong place.
I'm not sure 'when' I was born again either. But then I don't recall being born the first time either -but here I am, so I know it happened.
If you're trusting Jesus for salvation, then the assurance of your salvation is found in God's promises:
That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but
have eternal life. John 3:15 (KJV)
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but
have everlasting life. John 3:16 (KJV)
He that believeth on him
is not condemned ... John 3:18 (KJV)
He that believeth on the Son
hath everlasting life ... John 3:36 (KJV)
Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me,
hath everlasting life, and
shall not come into condemnation; but
is passed from death unto life. John 5:24 (KJV)
And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may
have everlasting life: and
I will raise him up at the last day. John 6:40 (KJV)
Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me
hath everlasting life. John 6:47 (KJV)
But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might
have life through his name. John 20:31 (KJV)
10 He that believeth on the Son of God hath the witness in himself: he that believeth not God hath made him a liar; because he believeth not the record that God gave of his Son. 11 And this is the record, that God
hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 12 He that hath the Son
hath life;
and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life. 13 These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that
ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God. 1 John 5:10-13 (KJV)