I'm super late to the thread, just like I was super late to declare myself Reformed!
I fit best with Baptists. I think Lynn asked which Baptists were Reformed? Well, any Baptist that wants to be. Baptists are not a homologous group. True, there are independent fundamentalists, but they are pretty top down driven, which defies the basic Baptist principle of "authority of the believer." In other words, find it in the Bible, and believe it. Forget about the words of men. In the Southern Baptist Convention, where I went to seminary, (the Canadian version, of course!) we had a separate convention under the general umbrella for Reformed Baptists. They had conferences, brought in speakers, and generally fellowshipped with one another. I found out one noon hour lunch in a Vietnamese restaurant, when the "Reformed" Baptists made the mistake of talking about Reformed theology and business in front of me. But, not to worry, I never told a soul!
Except of course, we never do forget about the words of men! In seminary, we studied all the different versions of soteriology. That was the first time I was exposed to TULIP. I decided I could agree with 2 1/2 points. But not 2 1/2! But I really liked the emphasis on the "sovereignty of God." That is what got me reading and listening more. That really was what I had always believed, despite being in Pentecostal/Arminian churches for many years.
To me, the Sovereignty of God, or as I like to call it "God is in control," is one of the basics of my faith and God. Because, why would anyone want to serve a God who is not sovereign. Another reason I DETEST Open Theism. I'm not experienced in Reformed Doctrine like some are on this post, but for me, God's sovereignty defines what it is to be Reformed (Correct me if I am wrong.)
A year or so ago, Lynn recommended a book by RC Sproule - "What is Reformed Theology?" I got it and read it, more from an outsiders perspective. Wow! Every objection I had on those "other" 2 1/2 points he answered. In fact, I walked away kind of stunned. Why was anyone teaching/preaching anything but this?
As far as amillennialism, just so people know, some of us do not believe we return to heaven when Jesus returns. There are a lot of us who believe that we remain on a renewed earth. Because I don't see the promise of heaven anywhere in the Bible for believers. True, there is Revelation, but it is symbolic, apocalyptic literature, and I don't claim to understand it all. I am also a partial preteriste, and I was reading a book by someone who kept referring to Amills as people who think they are going to heaven when Jesus returns. So I rechecked my facts, and turns out there are two groups. And if not, well, there is me, and then the group of all the others! LOL