Dear friend I sense your confusion. Reading long perplexing statements by people who are unsaved will not help you at all. You say you are saved but I would like to hear more about your experience. How did you get saved? It's fruitless to begin to discuss salvation without an account of your being born again. Could you please tell what happened in your life to bring you to Say that you are saved? I'd like to hear what happened to bring you to God. You must be born again. This is a real experience not just a figure of speech. After Jesus truly saves you, you really do become a new creation. Old things have past away all things are made new. Thank you for questioning your experiences.