Divorce and Remarriage

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Patchface

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#1
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God frowns upon divorce, and claims remarriage to be adultery. We humans have, seeing this occur so much, created a large loophole for ourselves. We say stuff like, God will make an exception, he wouldnt suspect us to divorce our new partner. But did you ever actually marry them, if your still connected by God to your first spouse?
By living in a second marriage after a divorce, is one considered to be living in sin?
 
faith4life

faith4life

Senior Member
#2
Dec 18, 2008
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Its not adultery to get remarried if your previous marriage ending because of adultery. I cant remember the bible verse were it talks about it but i believe its in Matthew.
 
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eagleheart

Guest
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Patch face
You are correct,there is no grounds for divorce in Gods Word,God hates divorce Malachi 2:16,matthew 19:4-6 There is only one grounds for remarriage,that is if your husband or wife is dead,then you can remarry,only in the Lord! 1 corinthians 7:39 I only know of one true believer on this site who believes the truth from Gods Word concerning divorce and remarriage. Many many christians( or so called christians are involved in unscriptural marriages)
On judgement day,they will find out that the devil deceived them,and they listened,and they will end up in the lake that burns with fire.
Eagleheart
 
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watchmen

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Apr 23, 2009
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faith4life said:
Its not adultery to get remarried if your previous marriage ending because of adultery. I cant remember the bible verse were it talks about it but i believe its in Matthew.
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Actually that verse says you can lawfully divorce your spouse if they are unfaithful, but it does not say you can remarry. However in 1st Corinthians 7 it says if an unbeliever leaves their spouse because they are a christian then the n christian that was left in no longer the under the law of that marriage and therefore free to remarry.
 
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doubleedge

Guest
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It depends on the reason for Ur divorce, & whether or not U were ever actually married to begin with. A union born of lust gives rise to fornication & adultry (Matthew 5:28,31,32)!
 
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iraasuup

Guest
#6
#6
I believe the answer to the whole 'when is it acceptable to divorce/ are we bound to our spouse?' question lies in Deuteronomy chapter 24...

Deuteronomy 24

Law Concerning Divorce

1 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, 2 when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, 4 then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance.

The above passage is pretty clear if you ask me. If a man divorces his wife he CANNOT take her back once she has become another mans wife,
regardless of the situation, for she has been defiled and that is an abomination in the Lord's eyes.

As for reasons the Lord would accept divorce.. there is ONLY ONE!!! Sexual immorality/unfaithfulness...

Matthew 5:31-32 (New King James Version)


Marriage Is Sacred and Binding


31 “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality[a] causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

You are right, people make all sorts of justifications for divorce, ie: abusive spouses and whatnot. I agree that it is not a good idea to stay in a realtionship that is abusive or unloving. But it does not justify divorce. There are other options seek counselling, or remove yourself from the situation while the other person gets help. There are loads of options available. This is not just me speaking. I didn't write this stuff...it's straight out of God's word.

Hope that helps :)
 
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#7
Apr 20, 2009
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I wanted to share the commitment of my mom. She allowed my father to devorce her because of abuse, she honored her marraige till the day she passed. Raising all 10 of us, her children and others all on her own, without gov. assistance . She believed this is what God asked of her, she also believed that my dad was blessed by her faith. My daughter has her wedding band, worn through the gold to a reminent. Because of her faith all of us have a true commitment to our marraiges and Jesus. Jesus did say accept this teaching those of you who can. Because of her faith many lives have been blessed and it spared us of many sorrows. God bless, pickles
 
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watchmen

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Apr 23, 2009
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pickles said:
I wanted to share the commitment of my mom. She allowed my father to devorce her because of abuse, she honored her marraige till the day she passed. Raising all 10 of us, her children and others all on her own, without gov. assistance . She believed this is what God asked of her, she also believed that my dad was blessed by her faith. My daughter has her wedding band, worn through the gold to a reminent. Because of her faith all of us have a true commitment to our marraiges and Jesus. Jesus did say accept this teaching those of you who can. Because of her faith many lives have been blessed and it spared us of many sorrows. God bless, pickles
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Yes my mom has a similar story. She divorce my dad because of infidelity, but remain unmarried. I was the youngest of nine, I was 4 yrs old when they were dicvorced and she never got any type of government assistance at all. I am now 35 and my mother is 75 and still unmarried.
1st Corinthians 7
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
 
Kakashi

Kakashi

Senior Member
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Jan 3, 2007
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let me ask something:

My older brother got married in his earlier 20s, but about a half a year to a year later their marriage hit a snag, and his wife wanted to divorce him. Even though they both had their own problems, he wanted to get marriage counseling and work it out, because my brother does not belive in divorce. But she thought marriage was too " hard" and wanted to get the divorce anyway and seperate from my brother. My brother prayed so hard that she would change her mind( she is Christian and should have come to her senses) , but she did not and divorced him. a couple years later he hs found such a wonderful Christian girl, and everyone approves of her, and they got married.

Now what I ask is this, since it wasn't my brother who initiated the divorce was it wrong for him to get remarried?
 
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thefightinglamb

Guest
#10
#10
I have thought about this 'remarriage' concept a lot lately...and also about unfaithulness being the only reason for divorce...

And the thought occurred to me...Perhaps, in the Bible 'unfaithfulness' was the only thing mentioned because it was a given the relationship (marriage) was holy...just thinking, do you really think Jews would have encountered the problem of alcoholics, durg addicts, child abusers, et cetera? What I am trying to say is since the Bible was and is the Word for those who the Lord blesses with holiness...I am not sure if some of these concepts would need to be discussed, because they simply would not have existed for the simple reason that it was a given if they existed it was not a holy matrimony and thus the Bible would not be the scale to begin with...Personally, I as most Christians do wrestle with the idea that God wants a woman or man to stay in a relationship where the other is abusing the kids, or physically, meantally, or spiritually abusive...it just does not make much sense...though I do believe true prayer can alleviate and mend these circumstances, I seem to be wondering in this post, if the reason the Bible does not mention these obvious reasons for being separated (divorced) from somone was not mentioned because IT WAS A GIVEN they did not exist in a holy marriage...

Just thoughts...

May God bless those who are truly married
tony
 
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watchmen

Banned
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Apr 23, 2009
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Kakashi said:
lNow what I ask is this, since it wasn't my brother who initiated the divorce was it wrong for him to get remarried?
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Yes.

Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

this goes for the wife putting away the husband as well, even though it was she that initiated the divorce he cannot remarry according to scripture. Unless she left him because he got saved and she remained an unbeliever.
 
Kakashi

Kakashi

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Jan 3, 2007
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watchmen said:
Yes.

Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

this goes for the wife putting away the husband as well, even though it was she that initiated the divorce he cannot remarry according to scripture. Unless she left him because he got saved and she remained an unbeliever.
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He didn't put her away, she put him away. He WANTED to stay together. I think that says something at least.
 
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watchmen

Banned
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Apr 23, 2009
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watchmen said:
Yes.

Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

This goes for the wife putting away the husband as well, even though it was she that initiated the divorce he cannot remarry according to scripture. Unless she left him because he got saved and she remained an unbeliever.
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Kakashi said:
He didn't put her away, she put him away. He WANTED to stay together. I think that says something at least.
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It says the same thing it is just vise versa. Like you said she put him away. Therefore she causes him to commit adultery if he was to remarry, and the person he remarried would be committing adultery also. These are the words of Christ not my own, you can either accept them or reject them.
 
Kakashi

Kakashi

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Jan 3, 2007
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watchmen said:
It says the same thing it is just vise versa. Like you said she put him away. Therefore she causes him to commit adultery if he was to remarry, and the person he remarried would be committing adultery also. These are the words of Christ not my own, you can either accept them or reject them.
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it was one of those " you had to be there" type things.
 
Kakashi

Kakashi

Senior Member
#15
Jan 3, 2007
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She was unfaithful to him as far as I'm concerned, as far as being a wife goes, she wasn't one. After they were married she'd still go party out with her friends, leaving her husband( my brother) at home. he wanted to stay together, and she put him to the curb. In her mind, she was already seperated from him, and now she is remarried as well. In her mind, she was already unfaithful to him. It's not like he just divorced flippantly. You don't know my brother, it's not in his character to just go around dating and getting divorced, in fact his 1st wife was his first gf. he was left weith nothing while she ran off. As far as I'm concerned, she WAS unfaithful to him.
 
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wisdomseeker

Banned
#16
Mar 11, 2009
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Patchface said:
God frowns upon divorce, and claims remarriage to be adultery. We humans have, seeing this occur so much, created a large loophole for ourselves. We say stuff like, God will make an exception, he wouldnt suspect us to divorce our new partner. But did you ever actually marry them, if your still connected by God to your first spouse?
By living in a second marriage after a divorce, is one considered to be living in sin?
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Peace be to you
The devorce talked about by God and adultry has to do with worshiping other Gods not carnal marrage.We all know God gave isreal a bill of devorce for adultry.(worshiping other Gods.)
Im not promoting devorce but who in the world can stay married to a lier,cheater ect.

If i dont think thats fair being a man,what do you think God thinks being the fairest of all.

Love God with all your heart.Love your neighber like you love yourself.Stay away from idols,Honor your mother and father

a man holding the law of liberty is free
Love a friend in God
 
MahogonySnail

MahogonySnail

Banned
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Jan 8, 2009
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Consider the poor translation of the word "putting away" to "divorce" in english. Consider the context of Jesus's words. See Malachi, "God hates divorce", in English. I believe it is "putting away". There is a difference. God hates putting away. Consider the use of the word divorce in context of God and His people, as unfaithful wife and faithful husband. If he hated divorce so much, then it says he divorced Israel?

Consider that according to Jewish law, adulterers did not simply divorce, they were killed (stoned). What Jesus is talking about adultery and putting away, must be something else. Or at least, we only see 20% of the full story /picture and issue Jesus is addressing by only reading 1 or 2 of the same scriptures. There's no black and white answer to what Jesus is saying here, and you won't get the full understanding without consulting reliable sources eg theological material.
 
MahogonySnail

MahogonySnail

Banned
#18
Jan 8, 2009
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this goes for the wife putting away the husband as well, even though it was she that initiated the divorce he cannot remarry according to scripture. Unless she left him because he got saved and she remained an unbeliever.
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I might be wrong but from memory, the wife did not have such rights? It was only the man who could initiate divorce proceedings.
 
Kakashi

Kakashi

Senior Member
#19
Jan 3, 2007
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MahogonySnail said:
I might be wrong but from memory, the wife did not have such rights? It was only the man who could initiate divorce proceedings.
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good question. Mark 10:11 says "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultry against her" and 12 says " And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commit adultry"

i dunno if it's only a man who can initiate the proceedings, but I guess this shows that a woman can make the 1st impression that she wants to seperate?
 
MahogonySnail

MahogonySnail

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Jan 8, 2009
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i dunno if it's only a man who can initiate the proceedings, but I guess this shows that a woman can make the 1st impression that she wants to seperate?
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Yes I think the woman had to ask her husband for a bill of divorce. Unlike our legal system today, there were no "equal" rights between men and woman. The woman could not go to court to divorce her husband of her own will. I read something about once. So I guess you had situations where the woman wanted to divorce but couldnt, and the man refused to divorce, preferring to put her away and marry another (and thereby commit adultery, she was not properly divorced from the one he had put away), and men who would treat their wives badly , put them away, marry another, not get divorced as per the Law of Moses. The issue is a lot deeper than a simple "you can't remarry unless you commit adultery and here's the verse to prove it" tactic of today's christianity. Plus, we have a totally different legal system and rights about marriage, divorce etc than they did in Jesus's time. So it seems silly to me, to uphold ancient Jewish marriage and divorce laws on the basis of faulty or minimal understanding, in the context of our secular modern day legal system. We can't have it both ways.
 
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