Actually this was discussed in bible class this morning. I concluded that God wants to strengthen our weaknesses- which cannot happen without struggle/exercise/practice. For some people it is a struggle to not have a spouse, and for others having a spouse will strengthen Godly virtues in them. This strength is recognized in the qualifications of elders. It depends on your viewpoint. Personally I think not having a spouse makes things easy. It's like not having an exercise machine makes things easy cause you don't have to work, but it also makes you miss out on the benefits of exercising- muscles, weight loss, energy, and health. If the only focus is to get from A to B, then the easiest route makes sense. But that's like driving a car in a marathon instead of running. Yes it is easier. If we all stayed in a locked room and worshiped God all day, and didn't interact with anyone, it would be easier than going through the ups and downs of interacting with people. But how does that strengthen virtues such as patience- if you have no one to be patient with? What about selfishness vs sharing? How can you display the virtue of sharing by sharing with yourself?
In a way it is better to be alone, but I believe the bible points toward that it is ultimately best to not be alone. God said in Genesis it is not good for man to be alone- that he should leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. Christ has a bride, and family is ordained by God. In Ecclesiastes it says two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor, and if two lie down together they will keep warm, but that how can one be warm alone, and it says woe to the one who falls down and has no one to pick him up. In Proverbs 31 it says a wife of noble character is worth more than rubies, but how can she be so if she is not married? And the bible says he who finds a wife finds favor from the Lord. There are many more verses about being together and I think only one about being apart.
So I concluded that it is best to be alone if you are weak so that the struggles in this life will be easier for you, but that being together is ultimately the very best IF you are equally yoked. But does God have a soulmate for everyone? It is not as simple as that. If you do choose to marry God knows whose best for you. But God can strengthen you through other types of relationships- a brother, a mother, a cousin, a friend. But there's only one relationship that mirrors the marriage of Christ and His church. And to some people they get a better understanding of that from marriage. But we have freewill. Jesus does not force His bride to be His bride. Simply, we make choices and God takes us from that point on- just like the GPS reroutes your car to tell you where to go from the point that you are currently at, despite where you've been. David made a bad choice, but God forgave him and rerouted him from there. Did He have David divorce Bathsheba? No because God hates divorce, so He took David from that point where he was and still gave him a route to follow. And if you are at the point of being in a marriage, then divorce can't happen without sin from one or both spouses.
Is getting married on your heart? Then you should marry- the bible says so. But you have to want that relationship. No one, for example, adopts a child and at the same time says they don't want to be a parent. But those women who were barren in the bible, and longed so hard to have a child, God made it happen. The bible says that He puts the lonely in families. I've said for years that I'm not lonely, but that's denial talking. I always longed for a normal family. There are benefits to being single and to being married. Personally, considering all the pros and cons, I'd rather be with a husband whom I can spiritually grow with and show love to.
