Does God punish us in this life?

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phil-uk

Guest
#1
I recently made a thread in here about my marriage ending, my wife wants to separate. She's not religious. I'm only recently a christian. I've a lot to learn. She wants me to move out. I live about 300 miles away from all my family and friends. I basically moved to Somerset from Essex to be with my wife. We have an eight year old son together. I've been with her for 11 years. So she wants me to go but says I can see my son whenever I want which is great, but about 3 years ago she wanted to separate but threatened me with seeing my son. She said I'd not get to see him much only when she says its ok. So this time around you can understand me being cautious about her keeping to her word! I'm also scared about living on my own. Over the last week I've been pulling out all the stops to keep friendly with her family and our friends as I need support to be honest. Today I got punished (by God?) My wife says I'm a joke and I'm trying to get people to feel sorry for me to get them on my side. Which isn't the case I'm just scared to death of living on my own plus trying to keep my soon to be ex wife happy so she wont threaten me with my son. She has been nice to me over this week but went berserk at me today. Its like walking on egg shells, I dont know what to say or do for the best. My wife holds all the cards and I'm on a losing streak. Please pray for me and my son and even my wife that things will work out. I need all the prayers I can get. This site which I have found is my only outlet. Thanks for listening God bless all of you.
 
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May 15, 2013
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#2
He correct us if we do something wrong, but cast us from His presence, only the sons He will keep.

Hebrews 12:6
because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,212
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#3
I recently made a thread in here about my marriage ending, my wife wants to separate. She's not religious. I'm only recently a christian. I've a lot to learn. She wants me to move out. I live about 300 miles away from all my family and friends. I basically moved to Somerset from Essex to be with my wife. We have an eight year old son together. I've been with her for 11 years. So she wants me to go but says I can see my son whenever I want which is great, but about 3 years ago she wanted to separate but threatened me with seeing my son. She said I'd not get to see him much only when she says its ok. So this time around you can understand me being cautious about her keeping to her word! I'm also scared about living on my own. Over the last week I've been pulling out all the stops to keep friendly with her family and our friends as I need support to be honest. Today I got punished (by God?) My wife says I'm a joke and I'm trying to get people to feel sorry for me to get them on my side. Which isn't the case I'm just scared to death of living on my own plus trying to keep my soon to be ex wife happy so she wont threaten me with my son. She has been nice to me over this week but went berserk at me today. Its like walking on egg shells, I dont know what to say or do for the best. My wife holds all the cards and I'm on a losing streak. Please pray for me and my son and even my wife that things will work out. I need all the prayers I can get. This site which I have found is my only outlet. Thanks for listening God bless all of you.
My friend I am so sorry about your horrible situation, what your wife is doing is wrong. But God does not punish us, he disciplines us sometimes when we need correction but never in a bad way like you are thinking. As far as I can tell from your story there is no reason for him to discipline you. However the devil of course will cause trouble to come to you to break you such as your family problems you are experiencing. In my opinion the best thing you can do right now is be loving and humble, pray and talk to God about these issues because he really cares and will help you. Reading the bible will also be of great help
 
Oct 31, 2011
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#4
No, your wife does not hold all the cards. Your wife is speaking and reacting the way that people without God just do, they bluff, bully, try to harm. To try to reason and argue with that mind set does no good, but you can use the power of Christ to control. In the name of Christ, you can have authority over her. She will laugh at it, scorn it, but the power will be there.

God disciplines his children, but he never punishes. Always, it is to guide us into obedience to Him, and lead us into perfect peace with Him.
 
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12tribes1King

Guest
#5
Friend, a decent man will always correct his children, and would not God who is good do the same?


Isaiah 48:
10 Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.

11 For mine own sake, even for mine own sake, will I do it: for how should my name be polluted? and I will not give my glory unto another.

John 15:
18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.

21 But all these things will they do unto you for my name's sake, because they know not him that sent me.

1Peter 2:

19 For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.

20 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.

21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:

22 Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:
23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

25 For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.
 
May 15, 2013
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#6
If you are married, she can't throw you out of your and her home; but you should get an police report next time she want you out of the home and you should also get some legal advice. But if you want to avoid all that, just do what she ask, whatever happens, it is God's will.
 
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phil-uk

Guest
#7
Friend, a decent man will always correct his children, and would not God who is good do the same?


Isaiah 48:
10 Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.

11 For mine own sake, even for mine own sake, will I do it: for how should my name be polluted? and I will not give my glory unto another.

John 15:
18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.

21 But all these things will they do unto you for my name's sake, because they know not him that sent me.

1Peter 2:

19 For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.

20 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.

21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:

22 Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:
23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

25 For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.
Thanks, them verses do wonders for me in this situation. God bless
 

p_rehbein

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2013
30,372
6,637
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#8
Others have answered your question, so I will only say that I will pray for you and that God will be with you during this time of trial in your life............keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, TRUST IN HIM, He will never let you down.......God bless
 

mystdancer50

Senior Member
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
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#9
In this world, one of the most hurtful things are the harsh words spoken over us. I will only say, as I agree that others have answered your question and quite well, in fact, that what God says about you trumps and overtakes anything anyone else says about you. He loves you, values you, treasures you and cares for you. Cling to Him and His truth and be blessed. I am sorry for what you're going through. May you be comforted by our loving God.
 
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phil-uk

Guest
#10
Unfortunately she can throw me out, despite being married her name is on the tenancy. Its basically her council property. Being married doesn't make any difference. I live in the UK its no doubt different in the States. I will continue to do as she asks but its an awful thing. But your right it's God's will
 
Oct 31, 2011
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#11
If you are married, she can't throw you out of your and her home; but you should get an police report next time she want you out of the home and you should also get some legal advice. But if you want to avoid all that, just do what she ask, whatever happens, it is God's will.
God tells us to: Mat_10:16
"Look, I'm sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as serpents and as harmless as doves.

Enlightenments advise seems very wise to me.
 
Mar 4, 2013
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#12
Yes, yup, you betcha. Then He asked us to confess what He punished us for. I'm happy He does that because it's a confirmation that I'm His kid. Child that is. :D
 
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BeanieD

Guest
#13
You were not being punished by God with this. Will definately bepraying for you all. I know how hardthis can be, but don't fear being on your own because as you allow, God is right there with you. I have kind of been there myself but Trust and faith in God will get you through and He will bring others into your life who will encourage you and be there for you. Just let God have the wheel, He will never steer you wrong. Love n Blessings
 
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nathan3

Guest
#14
We often cause our own misery . We don't need help from God punishing ourselves which is often the case. This happens from our own actions.

Once a person is going against what is right, then my question then is, will God bless some one doing wrong ? Or, will those blessings whatever form they take on, will they be taken away ?

After that, your on your own with your own bad choices and sinful habits. That will lead to self ,punishment enough . It might not be until after we had enough pain, and wise up and make right choices , that we turn away from our bad habits , whatever, and start wanting to do things God's way.
 
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reject-tech

Guest
#15
Eye for an eye, tooth for tooth, every action has an equal and opposite reaction, and so on -
are in full effect. God doesn't have to take time out to reach down and spank us, He already has that system on autopilot.
It's a very solid and easy to witness reality that we can only fault ourselves on due to disobedience, and not fault when due to innocent curiosity, but observe the outcome and learn.

We experience our sins returning in our lifetime, and instead of correcting the problem, we try to outrun it with more transgression. Like when we keep stacking lies to get out of trouble as a kid.
If you put pieces together carefully, you can see it has affected you fairly all your life.

Add to that, our undeserved affliction at the hands of others. Not to be mistaken as eye for eye, but I think we do a bad job of making the distinction. Particularly, cheating in our own favor.

The way to get out of "eye for an eye"
Is to stop the sin. What doesn't go out, cannot come back.
Turn away from it, for the gradual going away of it.

Love God, Love others, Try to stop sinning, and I believe we don't get much more understanding until we do those.
I believe it's purposely cut off, so that a person must have a wonderful experience of "entering the kingdom" instead of just deciding they are in it.
 
Dec 19, 2009
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#16
I recently made a thread in here about my marriage ending, my wife wants to separate. She's not religious. I'm only recently a christian. I've a lot to learn. She wants me to move out. I live about 300 miles away from all my family and friends. I basically moved to Somerset from Essex to be with my wife. We have an eight year old son together. I've been with her for 11 years. So she wants me to go but says I can see my son whenever I want which is great, but about 3 years ago she wanted to separate but threatened me with seeing my son. She said I'd not get to see him much only when she says its ok. So this time around you can understand me being cautious about her keeping to her word! I'm also scared about living on my own. Over the last week I've been pulling out all the stops to keep friendly with her family and our friends as I need support to be honest. Today I got punished (by God?) My wife says I'm a joke and I'm trying to get people to feel sorry for me to get them on my side. Which isn't the case I'm just scared to death of living on my own plus trying to keep my soon to be ex wife happy so she wont threaten me with my son. She has been nice to me over this week but went berserk at me today. Its like walking on egg shells, I dont know what to say or do for the best. My wife holds all the cards and I'm on a losing streak. Please pray for me and my son and even my wife that things will work out. I need all the prayers I can get. This site which I have found is my only outlet. Thanks for listening God bless all of you.
When we behave selfishly, the consequences of our actions are unpleasant. These actions are called “sins.” The Lord cautioned us not to commit these acts.
 
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phil-uk

Guest
#17
Some great responses to my question. It has reinforced my faith reading these comments. Thankyou for the prayers too I already feel better :)
 
Apr 18, 2013
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#18
We make our own bed and sleep in it.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,479
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#19
Phil-uk,

I'm very sorry you're going through these things.

I'm sure there are plenty of kind, mature Christians on CC who can go into more detail with you,
and give you much better advice than I can.
I'm just going to jot down a few things which come to mind...
which may answer some of your questions.


1. God does "correct" or "discipline" his children - it is actually proof that we are his children.
That fact that he disciplines his children is PROOF that we are saved, and we are His.
You don't discipline children that don't belong to you... neither does God.
When God disciplines us, it is proof we ARE His children.

Proverbs 3:12 For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.

Hebrews 12:7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?


2. Debate about God's discipline is usually a matter of semantics, rather than anything doctrinal.
The differences Christians have about God's discipline are usually as simple as just using different words for it, and thus different nuance.
We just get wrapped up in semantics.
God's discipline for his children might be referred to as "discipline", "correction", "chastisement", "punishment", or maybe even something as colorful as "a whoopin".

All Christians recognize this is part of being God's child, but sometimes we get hung up on semantics, and get into arguments.
ALL Christians go through God's correction, to one degree or another.

Job 5:17 Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty:

Hebrews 12:5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.



3. God will discipline his children as a loving father, sometimes gently, sometimes harshly, but he doesn't send his own children to hell.
That is reserved for people who are NOT his children. People who are saved become God's children... they receive discipline when needed... not banishment to eternal separation from Him. These are two very different things.

The point here isn't to get into a long study about salvation, heaven, and hell.
I won't go into any more detail here.


4. God prefers to instruct us, and correct us, with gentle things, if we will listen. He only uses harsher things as needed, when we refuse to listen to his gentler methods
.


Word - He instructs gently through his word:

Psa 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

Proverbs 8:33 Hear instruction, and be wise, and refuse it not.

Proverbs 22:17 Bow down thine ear, and hear the words of the wise, and apply thine heart unto my knowledge.

John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:

Luke 11:28 But he said, Yea rather, blessed are they that hear the word of God, and keep it.

Matthew 13:16 But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear.



Conscience - He instructs gently through our conscience:

1Titus 1:5 Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned:

Rom 2:14 For when the Gentiles, which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, these, having not the law, are a law unto themselves:
2:15 Which shew the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another;)

Rom 9:1 I say the truth in Christ, I lie not, my conscience also bearing me witness in the Holy Ghost,


5. Are you being disciplined right now?

I have no idea. That is something very personal, between you and God.
It's best not to look into another person's life, and make that assessment for them.
Bad things often happen to perfectly fine Christians... we do live in a fallen world.


6. Sometimes we go through trials when WE'RE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT... so we can learn to help others.
God sometimes teaches us how to go through trials, just so we can help others later.
It's a painful process, but one way in which God prepares us as servants.

2Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.


John 15:2 Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.


7. Sometimes we go through trials to "remove" harmful things from our lives.
This could be a relationship, a location, a job, even a desire for something... it could be many things.
God often takes things away, purges us, of things we love or desire, if those things were hurting us, or harming our growth and "fruitfulness".

John 15:2 Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.


8. Sometimes we go through trials just to grow closer to Christ, and mature as Christians.
It's very hard, but it's part of the growth process for a believer.
Trials teach us to trust in Christ - in the act of trusting Him through trials, we become more like Him, and we find joy through growing closer to Him.
(I don't like trials, and I don't ask for them... but they ARE something God uses in our lives.)

1Pe 4:12 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
4:13 But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.



9. There are many many reasons that hard things happen to God's children.
There are all kinds of reasons... it's best to teach a person the ways that God works, and then let the person get alone with God, and seek the answers for himself.
It's a very private thing.
It's very presumptuous of us to think we know why things are happening in another person's life.


10. If you just got saved, and did the right thing, why is your marriage in such turmoil?
When you accept Christ, you become his child, a completely different person on the inside.
You aren't the same anymore.
You are no longer like your wife... you're different now.
The most precious thing to a believer (the Savior) is the most despised thing to an unbeliever.
The most comforting thing to a believer, is the most painful thing to an unbeliever...
God's spirit inside of you is constantly convicting her of her own sin... it pains her.

A person who wants to remain in darkness cannot live where light is shining on them...
they have to get away from it. They must run from the light, or accept the light and repent.

Your wife doesn't have a problem with you.
She has a problem with Christ inside of you.
Even on your worst days, when you don't feel spiritual at all,
God's spirit is still inside of you, shining out... changing you, and covicting her.

She will either turn and accept the light, or she will run from the light.
That is what all people do.

No one wants to see a marriage end in divorce.
It's a very painful thing.
Please seek counseling from pastors, and from Christian friends.
Please pray constantly and seek prayer from others.
And please stay close to God, so you can make good decisions each day.

God Bless,
Max
 

Drett

Senior Member
Feb 16, 2013
1,663
38
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#20
The problem with thinking that God only punishes people is; when someone hits hard times, it is made worse by people judging that person must have done something wrong.

Remember the prophets had much harder times than we ever had. God tests you in order to bring you closer to him.