Alright, I'll consider it. This is also what I wrote in my prayer journal. Jesus' words are in red.
Rachel, your sadness and downcast spirit are not lost to me. I know how hard and borderline impossible faith can seem sometimes. But I also see that you care. You care enough to come to your journal and speak to me. Even when you don't actually weep, I hear your soul when it does. You want so much to have lasting happiness, as do I. My daughter, there truly aren't any words to describe how deeply I love you. And even if there were, they would not be empty. I promised you I would not leave you to wither and die. I care more than you can imagine, and it breaks my heart to hear you say I don't, not for myself, but for you.
Then why did you make me this way? So you could be "glorified" more?
Please don't hate the way I made you. I saw what you would be and I'm very pleased. You may not believe me, but I'm crying with you right now. You may not think you have a right to grieve, but I'm allowing you to. I know you don't want to hope in or believe anything anymore, because you feel constantly disappointed. You're fearful, angry, and lonely. And you feel as though there's no way out. I know I've said this before, but it won't always be this way, my beautiful, precious daughter. If you could see me, I would be stroking your hair and embracing you. I'm never letting you go, even when you want to let go of me.