Wish this form had a love button so, I could love what you wrote. Lol. Thank you very much. I just feel kind of lost, not sure how to explain it but it's like knowing you need a change, knowing God wants a different life for you, wanting to know more, to grow more, to love Him more, but not sure what. So I'll continue praying & asking Him to show me His will. To feel secure enough that I know Him enough & believe enough & live the way I am suppose to enough to get into His kingdom. To be honest I wonder if I will ever be good enough... I want that complete change forever not temporary, the only way I know to even get some what close is to continue to pray & ask Him & I've been reading different scriptures online searching for answers trying to find some sort of peace in my relationship with God. The most part of my days here lately has been spent searching with the exception of taking care of my kids. I haven't even really talked to my fam or friends much like typical, it's like I keep searching and I'm so impatient because I'm not getting the answers that I want/need fast enough sometimes I can't even sleep. & I want to be able to teach my kids, I want them to know and grow up the Christian way, in church, I dont want them to ever be afraid or feel like I have before, but I can't do that the way I want because I honestly dont think I know enough to teach them & for that I ashamed