I am in need of guidance

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RogerDale

New member
Aug 16, 2019
2
0
1
#1
I have been trying to figure out how to find the one God wants me to have for my wife. Every time I start trying to date someone it tends to end in disaster. Everyone I talk to just says stop looking and God will bring her to you. My focus should be on God and working on the kingdom of heaven. I want a wife and to start a family, but how do you do it according to God's will?
 

Jackson123

Senior Member
Feb 6, 2014
7,151
553
113
#2
About 3 week ago, one of the pastor in my church visit me, he tell me that he get his wife from Christian dating agency, he say you can ask this agency what is your criteria
 

Hevosmies358

Active member
Apr 29, 2019
130
104
43
#3
I know that situation too well. I know this is a clische thing to say but: PRAY and FAST. Get out and about, ask the elders in your church if they know someone, tell the Pastor you are seeking for a wife. Because trust me: There are single women out there too seeking for you!

Now, if im good enough for somebody then so are you!

I know a guy with no arms and legs (he is a christian as well and im not exaggerating he legit has no limbs) who got a wife, so THERE IS HOPE for all of us, no matter the situation!

I can tell you its WORTH THE WAIT. Now hindsight 20/20 I can advice others: Don't look at being single as a NEGATIVE, its a great time to learn more about the faith, to grow in the faith and its a great time to BUILD CHARACTER because as a MAN God expects you to FEED THE FAMILY, LEAD THE FAMILY and RUN the home.
Its also a great time to GET HAPPY. I thought being married would solve me being unhappy, but even as a single man by God's grace I just got HAPPY. I counted my blessings every morning and after about a WEEK i felt happy consistently. Now I know it may sound like some mumbojumbo but I suggest everyone TRY IT if they are unhappy! Count each blessing you got, you'll see you don't got it as bad as you think you do!

You said "how to do it according to God's will" and thats a great question that shows your HEART is in the RIGHT PLACE! I personally believe that God's will for MOST men is that they marry to avoid fornication as Paul says. BUT granted there are some exceptions, Paul and Jesus both talk about it, folks who are just born to be single. Who are those people? I got no idea tbh! I always asked God if I was one of them, but I figured MOST LIKELY NOT since I had a massive drive to women so it would seem unusual if I was the one! Maybe somebody knows?

Sorry for the ramble, this always happens to me as I start typing. hopefully someone else will post something more COHERENT than my babble. God bless you mate!
 

OneOfHis

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2019
336
688
93
#4
I have been trying to figure out how to find the one God wants me to have for my wife. Every time I start trying to date someone it tends to end in disaster. Everyone I talk to just says stop looking and God will bring her to you. My focus should be on God and working on the kingdom of heaven. I want a wife and to start a family, but how do you do it according to God's will?

I do not believe it is about waiting for the one God will bring you.... I believe it is about preparing yourself to be ready for such a huge role.

As a husband we are called to cherish our wives, we are called to join with them as one. We protect them, we are to be patient with them. As a spiritual leader, this is not the same thing as "boss". It is to function as the stronger vessle. You can't always expect them to be perfect or even live up to your standards. On top of that you need to know this lovely daughter of God will know things that God hasn't revealed to you. You need to be ready to accept your faults and honestly admit them. You need to be ready to forgive hers.

This is less about having some checklist and saying "now I'm ready"...

More about making sure you stand on a strong foundation and the true gospel and not looking to this woman or your walk or situation for joy but Christ Himself.


I remember praying for a wife for many many nights.... was single for over 11 years which started in unbelief due to having my trust in women damaged.

Awhile after I saw that God can change anyone as He has changed me, and it would be ok to trust a woman who loves Him because she will be faithful to me... I often would pray as my desire for a precious woman like this grew.


One night it hit me hard.... really hard... I cried (kind of embarrassing) and after some of this I felt something deep inside me...

(When was the last time you cried for me like this?)


It was not "audible" but I do indeed feel it was from God showing me that my priorities were out of place.


After that my fire to study was lit like it was at the start of my belief in Jesus.... I had already read the bible multiple times and some chapters dozens of times.... but I found I had error in my beliefs... something big.... something which would have caused me to be a horrible husband....father.... witness

I had beliefs more similar to that of a pharisee than what Jesus actually taught.

The inspired written Word opened up in a new way and after a few months I was much different...


Bro...
there are many good women to marry...


but all of them love the Lord...and He loves them and you better be ready before one falls for you if you want to be a blessing to her... and not a stumbling block
 

jb

Senior Member
Feb 27, 2010
4,020
171
63
#5
I have been trying to figure out how to find the one God wants me to have for my wife. Every time I start trying to date someone it tends to end in disaster. Everyone I talk to just says stop looking and God will bring her to you. My focus should be on God and working on the kingdom of heaven. I want a wife and to start a family, but how do you do it according to God's will?
You can find a short study Here on seeking and receiving guidance from God...
 

Leastamongmany

Well-known member
Jun 2, 2019
3,270
1,247
113
Usa
#6
I have been trying to figure out how to find the one God wants me to have for my wife. Every time I start trying to date someone it tends to end in disaster. Everyone I talk to just says stop looking and God will bring her to you. My focus should be on God and working on the kingdom of heaven. I want a wife and to start a family, but how do you do it according to God's will?



Isn't your NEED for shelter,a job and food a GREATER need than a wife? I prayed for you to receive these things first. You cannot have a wife you cannot support. Get close to God,He will supply ALL your needs according to HIS WILL and glory!.......😕 Hmmmm makes me wonder about your PRIORITIES!
 

TM19782017

Active member
Dec 15, 2018
222
139
43
#7
I do not believe it is about waiting for the one God will bring you.... I believe it is about preparing yourself to be ready for such a huge role.

As a husband we are called to cherish our wives, we are called to join with them as one. We protect them, we are to be patient with them. As a spiritual leader, this is not the same thing as "boss". It is to function as the stronger vessle. You can't always expect them to be perfect or even live up to your standards. On top of that you need to know this lovely daughter of God will know things that God hasn't revealed to you. You need to be ready to accept your faults and honestly admit them. You need to be ready to forgive hers.

This is less about having some checklist and saying "now I'm ready"...

More about making sure you stand on a strong foundation and the true gospel and not looking to this woman or your walk or situation for joy but Christ Himself.


I remember praying for a wife for many many nights.... was single for over 11 years which started in unbelief due to having my trust in women damaged.

Awhile after I saw that God can change anyone as He has changed me, and it would be ok to trust a woman who loves Him because she will be faithful to me... I often would pray as my desire for a precious woman like this grew.


One night it hit me hard.... really hard... I cried (kind of embarrassing) and after some of this I felt something deep inside me...

(When was the last time you cried for me like this?)


It was not "audible" but I do indeed feel it was from God showing me that my priorities were out of place.


After that my fire to study was lit like it was at the start of my belief in Jesus.... I had already read the bible multiple times and some chapters dozens of times.... but I found I had error in my beliefs... something big.... something which would have caused me to be a horrible husband....father.... witness

I had beliefs more similar to that of a pharisee than what Jesus actually taught.

The inspired written Word opened up in a new way and after a few months I was much different...


Bro...
there are many good women to marry...


but all of them love the Lord...and He loves them and you better be ready before one falls for you if you want to be a blessing to her... and not a stumbling block

Could not agree more with the, “now I’m ready” mistake.... I believe the correct translation of that emotion is, “I know myself better than you God”.

Being patient is necessary for peace and from age 21-30, the heat gets turned up. At least from my perspective.