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I've never read any of Mother Teresa's books, but I have read a book titled:
Mother Teresa / Come Be My Light
The Private Writings of the "Saint of Calcutta"
ISBN 978-0-385-52037-9
The book is a collection of Teresa's confidential letters written to spiritual
counselors. It isn't a rogue attempt to undermine the famous nun, rather, it
was compiled by Rev. Brian Kolodiejchuk M.C -- a director of the Mother
Teresa Center, and a Postulator in favor of her canonization --and it was
published with hierarchal approval.
In her letters, Teresa complained that she felt not the slightest glimmer of
the Lord's presence during virtually her entire five decades in India; which
eventually led Teresa to label Jesus the "absent one".
In one of her letters, penned to a Father Picachy, Teresa complained: "I am
told God loves me; and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is
so great that nothing touches my soul."
In yet another letter, penned to a Father Joseph Neuner, S.J. Teresa
confessed: Now Father-- since 1949 or 1950 this terrible sense of loss-- this
untold darkness-- this loneliness, this continual longing for God-- which
gives me pain deep down in my heart-- Darkness is such that I really do not
see neither with my mind nor with my reason-- the place of God in my soul
is blank-- There is no God in me-- when the pain of longing is so great-- I
just long & long for God-- and then it is that I feel-- He does not want me--
He is not there-- God does not want me-- Sometimes-- I just hear my own
heart cry out-- "My God" and nothing else comes-- the torture and pain I
can't explain--
Teresa's "reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness" and her remarks "the
place of God in my soul is blank" and "There is no God in me" is a
depressing commentary on her deplorable spiritual condition. God, in the
person of Christ, is supposed to be in personal contact with every believer;
even the lowly ones who don't count for much in the grand scheme of
things.
● Rom 8:15 . . For you have not received a spirit of slavery again to fear;
but you have received a spirit of adoption, whereby we call out: Abba,
Father!
● Gal 4:6-7 . . And because you are sons, God has sent forth the spirit of His
son into your hearts, calling out: Abba, Father! Therefore you are no longer
a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.
● Rom 8:16 . .The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's
children.
Not one of those three things happened for Teresa!
The tragic part of her experience was that Teresa sensed something was
very broken in her association with God and looked to her counselors for
answers, but they had none that were useful so the poor woman left this life
not only wondering if there is a God out there, but also wondering if perchance
the is one: He might quite possibly be disposed to condemn her.
* The poor woman became seriously disturbed during the final weeks of her
life. At the urging of Henry D'Souza, the Archbishop of Calcutta (a.k.a. Kolkata)
Teresa agreed to an exorcism-- performed by Father Rosario Stroscio --to
disperse any demons in the vicinity that might be clouding her mind.
_
