Is it a sin to live your whole life alone? (socially isolated)

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EarnestQ

Senior Member
Apr 28, 2016
2,588
311
83
#42
No school. no job, no friends since i was 14. Never been with a women. Never talk to anyone. No internet friends. I only go out when its dark. I cant go out without hiding my body and face with a hoodie and cap.

I have therapists but its not helping.

The reason to why i am doing this is because i am 1 of 10 on the look scale and is very weird. I am too ashamed over myself to be part of the society. And people bully me all the time/make fun of me, in internet and also irl, so why should i even bother talking to people, get a job etc when i will be bullied even more? I have 0 % to be in a relationship with a women or getting a friend so its pointless for me to be part of the society.

I tried to fix my flaws, i have 100+ flaws, but nothing worked to fix my flaws.
I feel very bad, i have been depressed for 12 years. but i will not end my social isolation, i will keep living like this until i die.
So my question is how i deal with this sadness, i want to be happy with my life.

Is it a sin to live like this?
.
I don't think it is a sin to be like you are, but it might be a sin to stay like you are.

Each of us is known by God before we are born. He decides what challenges we are to face in this life. God has given you a great deal of challenges because He knows you are worthy to handle them. He knows that by staying close to Him you will glorify Him in the situation He has placed you. He knows that you are capable of more growth than the average person because He has given you more to grow through.

Most people could not manage being faced with all the challenges God has put before you. God has given you a special place in this life because He knows you will glorify Him more than most people could under the same circumstances.

Most people would probably just give up, condemn God and be miserable. But, like Job, God knows you can handle this difficult life in which you find yourself. YOU CANNOT DO IT ON YOUR OWN! YOU NEED HELP, SUPPORT, ENCOURAGEMENT, AND FELLOWSHIP. That is the only way you can grow through this difficult situation God has placed you in. But God knows you will glorify Him in it. You can have friends who accept you as you are and appreciate how God is reflecting Himself through you.

John 9 tells us of the man whom God decided should be born blind. The man may have thought it was unfair that most people were born with sight, but that God denied him the ability to see.

BUT GOD knew that through his situation God's Son Jesus would be glorified. Jesus said that the man was born blind so God could be glorified. You were born as you are so God could be glorified through your life.

We all were born as we are so God could be glorified. Some of us have to suffer more than others. I have suffered some, but I doubt to the extent that you have. (If you had an emotionally healthy family, you can certainly glorify God for that. Neither of my parents were sane. But I am grateful to God that He helped my grow through that.)

Even if you continue to live an extremely introverted life, which I do not recommend, you can still honor and glorify God where you are. You can pray for others. You can get involved with online ministries. (One example would be to pray for and show compassion for people on Christian websites. Share God's wisdom with them. - To do this ask that God would give you as much wisdom as that with which you can glorify Him.)

I know how lonely you must feel. I have had a variety of person problems that kept me from other people as well. I was quite isolated up until I married at age 43.

I encourage you to develop your personality. Grow a sense of humor. Grow in compassion for others. Grow in Godly wisdom and humility. These are things a godly woman will be attracted to. You don't have to have superstar looks to enjoy the love of a godly woman. A godly woman will be most attracted to a man who reminds her of Christ. That is the kind of woman you want to marry anyway, not a vain good looker.

(Incidentally, I think Jesus was likely homely, if not even "ugly". He came to identify with the most lowly. I think people were attracted to Him for who He was not what He looked like.)

Work on become more Christ like. Do this by spending quality time with Him everyday. The only way you can have a God honoring life and "ministry" is if you are consistent in spending quality time with Him daily.

Start with knowing and loving Christ more and ask Him to give you a great life. Why would He say "No" to that?
 

EarnestQ

Senior Member
Apr 28, 2016
2,588
311
83
#43
I also want to add that for the last 2000 years the man who was born blind has been worshiping God because God counted Him worthy to be born blind. By becoming who God wants you to be, you will have all eternity to worship God for giving you such challenging circumstances and helping you grow through them.

Thank God for giving you such a wondrous opportunity to glorify Him in your life. And, look forward to worshiping Him forever for counting you worthy to grow through so much in this life.

But most of all, just love Jesus of Nazareth, God's only human born Son, for loving you so much He died on the cross in your place, and three days later God raised Him from the dead.
 
Feb 7, 2017
1,605
140
63
#44
i do love people, i give money to poor people and i talk to people online and i have a family, why is this not enough?
To love means to connect with those whom Jesus brings to us, and not only to help at a distance or with material goods. After all, we are not only body and spirit, but soul as well, that is, we need physical contact and to participate directly in the life of whom Jesus gave us to love.
 

EarnestQ

Senior Member
Apr 28, 2016
2,588
311
83
#45
No school. no job, no friends since i was 14. Never been with a women. Never talk to anyone. No internet friends. I only go out when its dark. I cant go out without hiding my body and face with a hoodie and cap.

I have therapists but its not helping.

The reason to why i am doing this is because i am 1 of 10 on the look scale and is very weird. I am too ashamed over myself to be part of the society. And people bully me all the time/make fun of me, in internet and also irl, so why should i even bother talking to people, get a job etc when i will be bullied even more? I have 0 % to be in a relationship with a women or getting a friend so its pointless for me to be part of the society.

I tried to fix my flaws, i have 100+ flaws, but nothing worked to fix my flaws.
I feel very bad, i have been depressed for 12 years. but i will not end my social isolation, i will keep living like this until i die.
So my question is how i deal with this sadness, i want to be happy with my life.

Is it a sin to live like this?
.
Hey, Clarance, how are you doing, friend?
.
 
P

pjharrison

Guest
#46
look to Jesus with all that you have. Seek him and you will find him. Read the bible or listen to it on bible gate way. Learn about God. Pray and ask him to help you to deal with this problem. It may not be what you want but he will answer.
 

Latour

Active member
Jun 11, 2018
437
255
43
#47
God has ordained that in every situation there is an advantage. A person who does not measure up to what society deems as beautiful, smart, or interesting can be found to have all these attributes but more deeply from within. A person with outward disadvantages has inner advantages. One must trust God and stop looking to others for confirmation. Look to God for confirmation. Don't put your trust in others...but in God ONLY. We are ALL to do that. But it seems that people will take advantage of whatever men give them. So then a person with physical beauty will have a HARDER time to look to God since such a person gets tickled by the praises of people. A smart person gets entangled with vain thoughts and becomes proud of his knowledge.

Why judge what God looks like. How do you know He didn't create you to better reflect Himself?
 
P

Papou

Guest
#48
No school. no job, no friends since i was 14. Never been with a women. Never talk to anyone. No internet friends. I only go out when its dark. I cant go out without hiding my body and face with a hoodie and cap.

I have therapists but its not helping.

The reason to why i am doing this is because i am 1 of 10 on the look scale and is very weird. I am too ashamed over myself to be part of the society. And people bully me all the time/make fun of me, in internet and also irl, so why should i even bother talking to people, get a job etc when i will be bullied even more? I have 0 % to be in a relationship with a women or getting a friend so its pointless for me to be part of the society.

I tried to fix my flaws, i have 100+ flaws, but nothing worked to fix my flaws.
I feel very bad, i have been depressed for 12 years. but i will not end my social isolation, i will keep living like this until i die.
So my question is how i deal with this sadness, i want to be happy with my life.

Is it a sin to live like this?
Sin is not the issue here BUT YOUR PERCEPTION OF YOURSELF. Listen carefully to me my friend: WE ARE WHAT WE ARE! Do not try to be someone else! If you want to socialise then you HAVE TO MAKE THE FIRST STEP! Nobody really care about your flaws! Be happy to be what u are because you are a wonder of the world!
 

EarnestQ

Senior Member
Apr 28, 2016
2,588
311
83
#49
No school. no job, no friends since i was 14. Never been with a women. Never talk to anyone. No internet friends. I only go out when its dark. I cant go out without hiding my body and face with a hoodie and cap.

I have therapists but its not helping.

The reason to why i am doing this is because i am 1 of 10 on the look scale and is very weird. I am too ashamed over myself to be part of the society. And people bully me all the time/make fun of me, in internet and also irl, so why should i even bother talking to people, get a job etc when i will be bullied even more? I have 0 % to be in a relationship with a women or getting a friend so its pointless for me to be part of the society.

I tried to fix my flaws, i have 100+ flaws, but nothing worked to fix my flaws.
I feel very bad, i have been depressed for 12 years. but i will not end my social isolation, i will keep living like this until i die.
So my question is how i deal with this sadness, i want to be happy with my life.

Is it a sin to live like this?
.
Please get involved with a good evangelical church. We all need fellowship. "It is not good for man to be alone." God created us with a NEED for healthy fellowship. If you are avoiding that then you are avoiding God's best for you.

Are you willing to trust God enough to believe He has a place for you right where you are, with exactly who you are?

You NEED godly fellowship. God meets our needs. Therefore God will meet your needs. Please ask Him for help in this. You demonstrate "lack of faith" when you think God cannot meet your needs in this area.

I think God is waiting for you to ask Him for help in this so He can demonstrate to you that He answers such prayers.

(It doesn't hurt to start praising God for His answering of this prayer. ;) )

...

Please, Clarance, how are you doing now-a-days? I am concerned about you.

PM me if you don't want to respond in public.
.
 
Mar 28, 2016
15,954
1,528
113
#50
Hi Clarance

I struggle in communication skills and am married. At times its like being in the belly of the whale "a living hell" Sometimes my wife feels as a ghost not having the social skills it can be frightening pricking my pride.

Most people do not want to feel misunderstood and either they put up a wall or become a flood in order to have peace. In that way the scriptures inform us we should live in peace as much as it is possible in order to keep the personal peace one has with God which surpasses all understanding.(Romans 12:17) Its simply hard work to continue in a relationship with anyone, especially in a society when men have become lovers of one self. (Not getting better)

Ultimately men can give advice like planting or seed, or other add to it by watering it, but only God can cause the growth. Christ in us the hope of glory .

We are informed in Proverbs the anti social man pursues selfish ends .I don't like to think I am selfish, but understand as sinners we all fall short of the glory of God. Therefore we must do the work of showing our self friendly as you have by starting this subject. A friend loves by doing the work as the kind of love God shows us sometime one sided as in love is patience, it suffers long. If not it cannot be kind. We can suffer for doing right or for doing wrong . But the idea of no suffering is a illusion . God's love for us suffers long.

There are times that isolation can benefit. like when Elijah hid in a cave, or David hid in one from Saul . But like with Elijah God called him out not with a demand (earthquake or lightning) or a shout but with the quietness (still small voice) of the peace of God that surpasses all human understanding.

I was looking at Hebrew 11 being interested in how the word faith is used .And noticed the order of mankind who were moved by the faith of Christ that worked in them to both will and do the good pleasure of God and what that faith performed to glorify God, not seen .

Then he gives a different kind of list not mentioning names. It would seem as some he hid the world was not worthy of meeting . They lived in caves. It would seem God had a special place for them. Possibly to signify the first will be last and the last first. Some wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins; like some that do wear hoodies or sun glasses as a way of hiding.

Women received their dead raised to life again: and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain a better resurrection :And others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover of bonds and imprisonment: They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword: they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented; (Of whom the world was not worthy:) they wandered in deserts, and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth. And these all, having obtained a good report through faith, received not the promise:Hebrew 11:35-39


So is being selfish a sin? Scripture informs us anything that is not of faith that comes from hearing God is sin.

I have to ask my own self. Is the world not worthy of my presence and God is hiding me? That give me the courage to try and be less anti social again as a thorn pricking my conscience . We all need prayer . Keep showing yourself as friendly. Its what David who is considered a friend of God, which moved him out of his cave having the confidence of Christ who began the good work of salvation in Him with the promise of finishing it to the end.