Let's Lighten Up

[CDavid]

How to Speak the Pentecostal Tongue



Proper pronunciation for Evangelical preachers
Many words only need the addition of the letter “a” at the end
Examples:
God – God’a
Word – Word’a
Believe – Believe’a
In a sentence; “Do you believe’a in the word’a of God’a?”

Some words require lengthening and respelling.
Examples:
Heal – Heeeall
Jesus - Jeeezus

 

[Kefa52]

Jesus to Santa Clause....Your just a fat clown at my birthday party.

 

[Jon4TheCross]

This is pretty funny. It's called "Be Prepared"

Hoodwinked - Be Prepared - YouTube

 

[zone]

A Lutheran Minister was new to his rural congregation, but he had gotten word that a man was interested in joining his church. He went to the front door, and rapped several times, but got no answer. Reasonably sure the man was home he walked around to the back door, and to his surprise, the back yard was built up like an English garden with serpentine walks, a fish pond, fountains vines, the whole nine yards. He walked up to the back door, and still got no answer. Finally, he took out one of his calling cards and wrote on the back, "Rev 3:30" [Behold I stand at the door and knock...] The following Sunday, as the parishioners were leaving the church, someone slipped him their card with "Gen 3:20" written on the back. When he was finally able to get to a Bible, he discovered his response: "I heard you in the garden, but I knew I was naked, so I hid!"
–Ken
North Canton, Ohio

 

[Dude653]

Being raised a Baptist, y'all gotta know we gotta have a sense of humor. So I'll get the ball rolling. Hope to get lots of witty replies.

As I said, I was raised a Baptist but I got a touch of Pentecostal too. I guess I'm Bapticostal. Like a Baptist, I agree there should be no dancing. Cause, well it's stupid!

Oh yeah,,expressing joy in the house of God...how stupid...How stupid David must have been for dancing before the Lord,,,REALLY??!!!

 

[CDavid]

Being raised a Baptist, y'all gotta know we gotta have a sense of humor. So I'll get the ball rolling. Hope to get lots of witty replies.

As I said, I was raised a Baptist but I got a touch of Pentecostal too. I guess I'm Bapticostal. Like a Baptist, I agree there should be no dancing. Cause, well it's stupid!

Oh yeah,,expressing joy in the house of God...how stupid...How stupid David must have been for dancing before the Lord,,,REALLY??!!![/quote
Lets Lighten Up!

Everything on this page is said in jest.
It's all in fun.
Nothing posted is serious.

Bless tour heart "Lighten Up"

 

[Kefa52]

If Jesus had lived to be 80. Would he be standing in water up to his knees yelling " I could Do this when I was YOUNGER!!"

 

[Shilo]

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 100 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES."

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note. "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."

 

[Powemm]

Y'all are makin my eyes sweat ... Great thread and good laughter!! deep belly kind.. Love it!
Not only that, I've gotta whole new pocket of jokes...! Thanks y'all!
Laughing in Oklahoma tonight!!
Peace in christ
Michelle

 

[Powemm]

Okay I was raised catholic , woke up in penicostal and currently attending a baptist church ..
so what's my mix?
Catpenba. ?? scratching head while looking sideways at it ...
Ya!!!! I kinda like how that looks and sounds ...
so what's your mix??

 

[crossnote]

Okay I was raised catholic , woke up in penicostal and currently attending a baptist church ..
so what's my mix?
Catpenba. ?? scratching head while looking sideways at it ...
Ya!!!! I kinda like how that looks and sounds ...
so what's your mix??

raised atheist,reborn christian backslid into Charismatic then fell further into Reformed, Lutheran, Anglican, mid Acts, Messianic then the Lord had mercy a 2nd time ...back with Jesus.
(sequence is true but do take the rest with humor)

 

[StephenH]

A married couple were arguing who is going to make the coffee, the wife said that in the Bible it says that men should make the coffee and the husband asked her where it said that.

The wife opened the Bible and exclaimed, "There's a whole chapter named after this issue! HEBREWS!"

 

[psychomom]

I thought the pain in the side came after the wife?

er, i believe that's 'pain in the neck'...

(spoken by the wife who is one)

 

[Donkeyfish07]

There once was a man that lived in California that was a really righteous person. He was faithful to God from his youth up, he wasn't perfect of course but God was pleased with him. He never asked for much and was thankful for what he had so God decided to appear to him one day

God told the man "Since you've lived such a faithful life and have never asked for anything, ask me for anything you want and I will give it to you".

The man thought about it for a moment and replied "Well a bridge to Hawaii would be nice, that way I could drive there anytime I wanted".

God replied: "I can certainly do that for you but I would prefer if you asked for something a little less physical"

The man thought about it again and said "Well God, in that case I would like to be able to understand women"

God replied: "So do you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?"

 

[Powemm]

Bless ya'lls heart it just keeps pouring out of ya... way to go body of christ !!! A little
Laughter to brighten the seriousness in rooms... Balance balance balance .... good job and yes!!! Let some sunshine IN!!!
I can't imagine us not having a God who doesnt laugh... can you?? the air is fresher, crisper.. It's like the windows of Heaven open up and a breath of fresh air is let in....
Warmer, brighter, cheerier even !!! . Oh yes...GODS ALL THAT!!! and then some!!!


keep those jokes coming ... I'm writing them all down ! I laugh at them more than I can tell them ... Learning something new!!
Aaahhhhhh!!!! The smell of clean fresh air ... Definitely joy in this room!!!
Peace y'all !!
Chelle
!!

 

[Donkeyfish07]

I can't imagine us not having a God who doesnt laugh... can you??
!!

He created the duck billed platypus, that's evidence of sense of humour

 

[crossnote]

ok picture time...

kind of creepy the images your get by typing "Bible jokes" in a google search engine...

the pastor reaching teens cartoon? that' normal pastor attire here in So. Cal.

 

[crossnote]

most commentators will tell you that Lazarus was the third person Jesus rose from the dead, but we know better, "Lazarus come forth !"

 

[Ariel82]

raised atheist,reborn christian backslid into Charismatic then fell further into Reformed, Lutheran, Anglican, mid Acts, Messianic then the Lord had mercy a 2nd time ...back with Jesus.
(sequence is true but do take the rest with humor)

So ... chareformelutheranglimessianic Christian? Chareluthangmess. ... well a mess at any rate
Jk

 

[Ariel82]

the pastor reaching teens cartoon? that' normal pastor attire here in So. Cal.

Lol they must reach a lot of teens there