New member

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Nov 27, 2019
55
18
8
#1
I'm a new member seeking discussion and fellowship with Christians. I hope to find answers to my several questions and thereby strengthen my faith. I'm 83 years old and lost my wife 2 months ago to lung cancer.
 

Ghoti2

Well-known member
Nov 8, 2019
466
279
63
#2
I am so sorry. It hurts, I know, I have been through it, myself.
 
Aug 10, 2019
277
257
63
Canada
#4
I'm a new member seeking discussion and fellowship with Christians. I hope to find answers to my several questions and thereby strengthen my faith. I'm 83 years old and lost my wife 2 months ago to lung cancer.
Sorry for your loss...times like this can lead one to a stronger relationship with Christ, I began my slow walk back to faith in 2007 when my mother passed, and I still have lots of questions and things to learn.

Welcome aboard.
 

BillG

Senior Member
Feb 15, 2017
7,387
3,282
113
#5
I'm a new member seeking discussion and fellowship with Christians. I hope to find answers to my several questions and thereby strengthen my faith. I'm 83 years old and lost my wife 2 months ago to lung cancer.
Hi Robo,

So sorry to hear your news.
I can only imagine what you must be going through.
I can only assume that this devastating period leads to questions you want to ask.

Please feel free to ask your questions, no matter what they are or how silly you think they may be.

I am sure many on here will answer them, and I pray they are answered with the wisdom and the love of God as to be how he would answer them.

Father I pray for Robo as he seeks more of you.
May his faith be increased and stregnthed.
In Jesus name we ask this.
 
Mar 23, 2016
3,248
833
113
#6
Welcome to Christian Chat ... hope/pray you enjoy the discussion here!!!

sorry for your loss and I pray that God comforts your heart and applies His healing balm to all your sorrows. Lean into Him and rest in His loving arms.


 
Nov 27, 2019
55
18
8
#7
Sorry for your loss...times like this can lead one to a stronger relationship with Christ, I began my slow walk back to faith in 2007 when my mother passed, and I still have lots of questions and things to learn.

Welcome aboard.
After 60 years together the abrupt change in my life is near unbearable at times. A giant hole is my place of existence a giant vacuum is my every day. I can only think of just what level of faith in Christ "makes the cut" to a reuniting of our earthly love. how do I know if my loving wife made the cut? When can and how will I ever know if I've made it with Christ? It all makes one wonder just what this earthly flesh, blood & bone life is all about and is it really worth the test?
 
Aug 10, 2019
277
257
63
Canada
#8
After 60 years together the abrupt change in my life is near unbearable at times. A giant hole is my place of existence a giant vacuum is my every day. I can only think of just what level of faith in Christ "makes the cut" to a reuniting of our earthly love. how do I know if my loving wife made the cut? When can and how will I ever know if I've made it with Christ? It all makes one wonder just what this earthly flesh, blood & bone life is all about and is it really worth the test?
I remember when my Mom passed, I went over to my Dad's place about a week or two later....he was down in the laundry room. He hadn't washed clothes since her death, he had so many clothes he probably could have gone a month without doing laundry. Anyway it was the first time he'd opened the dryer since her passing and in there was a sweater....he was clutching it in one hand and he said to me: "I remember the last time she was wearing this".

Grief is not an easy thing to deal with, and for a life partner....being together 60 years, its especially hard. One suggestion I've made to others that seems to help is to allow yourself to grieve, to cry and sob. There are times when you'll be hit with it....especially during the first year, first Christmas, Easter, birthdays.....its tough. Rather than fighting the grief, wrap yourself in it....embrace it. And then, put it away....not for good....in a way you're saying "okay, that's enough for now, I'll be back later".

Getting involved with new activities is a good way to cope.....a class, a group, something brand new. Learn to play a musical instrument, even a simple recorder.

I know this doesn't help with the question of whether or not your wife 'made the cut'. Both my parents have passed away now, and I comfort myself with believing that they have gone home, and that I will be joining them eventually. When my father followed my mother 6 years after her passing he often said near the end (he had cancer too) that "nobody gets out of here alive".

Be well, and if chatting on here helps....post away.
 
Mar 23, 2016
3,248
833
113
#9
After 60 years together the abrupt change in my life is near unbearable at times. A giant hole is my place of existence a giant vacuum is my every day.
I understand and all who have suffered the loss of their spouse with whom they spent decades of life understand what you are going through.

One thing that helped me was looking at the wonderful blessings God bestowed upon the time my husband and I spent together. God blessed us richly over decades of time. The fellowship with Father is the joy and rejoicing of our heart ... whether we are married or unmarried. Look at the life you spent with your wife as a time of blessing. While you may find it extremely difficult to do, look at your life now and see that God continues to bless you through His comforting you in your time of loss and sorrow. He is the God of all comfort and He comforts us in all our tribulations we endure (2 Cor 1:3-4). He gathers us to Himself, holds us close to His heart, loves us and helps us through our time of extreme grief.




Robo36 said:
I can only think of just what level of faith in Christ "makes the cut" to a reuniting of our earthly love. how do I know if my loving wife made the cut? When can and how will I ever know if I've made it with Christ? It all makes one wonder just what this earthly flesh, blood & bone life is all about and is it really worth the test?
1 John 5:13 These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.

Do you believe on the name of the Son of God? Do you know that ye have eternal life?

As far as whether life is "really worth the test", this life is the test. We are to seek the Lord while He may be found (Is 55:6). He is found in this life. And, yes, seeking Him and finding Him in this life is worth all. God promises to wipe away all tears from our eyes and all sorrow from our hearts (Rev 21:4). We shall live in eternity with the Father and the Son. In our day and time, we see through a glass darkly, but then face to face (1 Cor 13:12). It will be glorious beyond our current ability to comprehend. God has promised and I believe Him.



 
Mar 23, 2016
3,248
833
113
#10
Anyway it was the first time he'd opened the dryer since her passing and in there was a sweater....he was clutching it in one hand and he said to me: "I remember the last time she was wearing this".
My husband tinkered a bit and he would get all kinds of spots on his clothing and I would ask him "how the heck did this happen?" and I would work out the stain and he'd stain it again. Sometimes I would get so frustrated wondering how I was going to get rid of a stain. I remember shortly after he passed, I was doing my laundry and crying because all I wanted was to have his stained shirts and pants to wash and clean for him.




StrugglingTilMyReward said:
One suggestion I've made to others that seems to help is to allow yourself to grieve, to cry and sob.
yes ... okay to cry ... whenever the tears come, let them flow.




StrugglingTilMyReward said:
There are times when you'll be hit with it....especially during the first year, first Christmas, Easter, birthdays.....its tough.
I called that time my "year of firsts". Every "first" would begin a couple of days before the "date" and I would start feeling sadness mixed with a little anxiety until "the day" came and somehow God just carried me through and after "the day" I saw that I could make it, miss my husband, and be okay the next day.

God is so vital to our lives and as we turn to Him, and rely on His working in us, we then thank Him for His love, grace, and goodness toward us.



 
Aug 10, 2019
277
257
63
Canada
#11
reneweddaybyday,

I think its awesome to have someone who's been down the same type of road, who's walked through the shadows and come out on the other side offer some advice, you rock.

Blessings
 

von1

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2010
1,388
1,193
113
56
#13
Hello and welcome, may God be with you during your time of lost.
 
Jul 9, 2017
132
9
18
#14
I'm a new member seeking discussion and fellowship with Christians. I hope to find answers to my several questions and thereby strengthen my faith. I'm 83 years old and lost my wife 2 months ago to lung cancer.
Sorry for your loss. She she rest in Our Lord's loving embrace.