Proverbs

[mar09]

It gives some hints about women in 1 Timothy 2:15 But women will be saved through childbearing--if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

So faith, love, holiness with propriety, and childbearing. I wonder what job would involve all those characteristics...?

Yes, your question with lanolin's may be answered with 'motherhood.' Often it just is a non-paying job=)).

 

[he-rat_of_the_circus-mice]

Yes, your question with lanolin's may be answered with 'motherhood.' Often it just is a non-paying job=)).

Non-paying with respect to money. But the return on investment is actually huge.

 

[Lanolin]

It gives some hints about women in 1 Timothy 2:15 But women will be saved through childbearing--if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

So faith, love, holiness with propriety, and childbearing. I wonder what job would involve all those characteristics...?

Schoolteacher.

 

[Lanolin]

Or nanny.

 

[Lanolin]

I wouldnt recommend modern day motherhood. Modern days mothers often need to deal with cheating husbands and lack of support. They need to then work to earn money and abandon their children to put a roof over their head.
Also I notice men arent encouraged to be fathers. How can you be a true mother if there is no father. Where is the dad, off at work and not spending any time with their own children. Daycare can start from 6 months old. And its not cheap.

 

[Lanolin]

Non-paying with respect to money. But the return on investment is actually huge.

I would argue that not necessarily because I see a lot of elderly in retirement villages and rest homes, they did have children so would technically have been mothers but their children just dont visit them or want to live with them anymore.
And so they just ended up spending all their inheritence on retirement lifestyle things. And its very eerie to work in a retirement village because chlildren or anyone under 55 arent allowed to live there.

 

[Lanolin]

I am called whaea (mother) in my new job there are over 400 children to look after.

Im not trying to diss biological mothers but, if they did homeschool their children they would be being more of a mother to their own children than by leaving them at school to be mothered by teachers.

With teachers some are maternal but some arent so it depends. Just as some mothers arent really mothers. Some mothers i know cant stand their own children and they often tell me. At least they honest but I do wonder why they have them in the first place.

 

[Godsgirl83]

Vegemite, haggis, chocolate-coated ants... Hey, at least those who eat these aren't eating that hillbilly "delicacy" - rocky mountain oysters!

Hey..... I like certain oysters! 67 of them to be exact

 

[he-rat_of_the_circus-mice]

I wouldnt recommend modern day motherhood. Modern days mothers often need to deal with cheating husbands and lack of support. They need to then work to earn money and abandon their children to put a roof over their head.
Also I notice men arent encouraged to be fathers. How can you be a true mother if there is no father. Where is the dad, off at work and not spending any time with their own children. Daycare can start from 6 months old. And its not cheap.

All valid points. Christian mothers should have Christian husbands. Or everything falls down. But I don't consider sending children to daycare as a legitimate part of motherhood. Perhaps a necessary evil sometimes, but not something anyone should aspire to.

I am called whaea (mother) in my new job there are over 400 children to look after.

Im not trying to diss biological mothers but, if they did homeschool their children they would be being more of a mother to their own children than by leaving them at school to be mothered by teachers.

With teachers some are maternal but some arent so it depends. Just as some mothers arent really mothers. Some mothers i know cant stand their own children and they often tell me. At least they honest but I do wonder why they have them in the first place.

I don't disagree with this.

I would argue that not necessarily because I see a lot of elderly in retirement villages and rest homes, they did have children so would technically have been mothers but their children just dont visit them or want to live with them anymore.
And so they just ended up spending all their inheritence on retirement lifestyle things. And its very eerie to work in a retirement village because chlildren or anyone under 55 arent allowed to live there.

I sometimes wonder if this is the way the children are raised. Like you say, mothers that despise their children and send them to school to be mothered by teachers shouldn't be surprised that their children grow up and send them to nursing homes when they become old. But I wonder if mothers who homeschooled their children and invest their very lives in them would suffer the same fate? It's not always the case, but often, one reaps what one sows.

Hey..... I like certain oysters! 67 of them to be exact

That's a lot of oysters, but I guess so long as they're from the ocean, you can rest assured they were harvested humanely.

 

[Lanolin]

Theres a daycare that leases land from the church I attend, and Im thinking..so this church is being financed by parents who go off to work and leave their children at this daycare?
I once worked for one of these mothers who left her daughter at this daycare, she was only 2 years old, she had to leave her there the whole day while we went round gardening for richer folk. And then pick her up when she finished. The daughter wouldbe very upset when her mother dropped her off.

Now if it were me, and I was a mother with a 2 year old, I would say to my husband, sorry I cant go and earn money, we need to live off one income and I need to be home with daughter and I can create a beautiful garden at home instead of go off and garden for richer people. If I needed a break from looking after my daughter I would call on her aunties or grandparents or arrange play dates with other childrens families. And then I would be teaching my daughter and giving her one on one time.

Possibly I would need to create my own cottage industry from home to supplement the household income, but I think I d rather do that than leave her in a daycare. Ive heard some crazy things about daycare and the amount of waste (in nappies) they produce is phenomenal. But then I dont know maybe daycare is a good thing as it teaches children to be social. And supposedly there are christian daycares. But to me it just seems any big house with a playground attached and a high fence can call themselves a daycare.

 

[he-rat_of_the_circus-mice]

If I needed a break from looking after my daughter I would call on her aunties or grandparents or arrange play dates with other childrens families.

Problem is, some people don't have aunties or grandparents. But if you do, this is a great idea.

But then I dont know maybe daycare is a good thing as it teaches children to be social. And supposedly there are christian daycares. But to me it just seems any big house with a playground attached and a high fence can call themselves a daycare.

Children learn to be social automatically. There are stories of children raised by wolves who have learned to be social. Doesn't mean it's a good thing. I guess a daycare that practiced Christian values might be a more beneficial daycare than an ordinary daycare. But both would be inferior to the parents' love.

 

[Lanolin]

Problem is, some people don't have aunties or grandparents. But if you do, this is a great idea.

Children learn to be social automatically. There are stories of children raised by wolves who have learned to be social. Doesn't mean it's a good thing. I guess a daycare that practiced Christian values might be a more beneficial daycare than an ordinary daycare. But both would be inferior to the parents' love.

No grandparents? There ought to be four to choose from, and no aunties...? If belonging to a church, there will always be aunties. If a mother has sisters or girlfriends, theres always aunties.

I think the problem is mothers these days think they can do it all on their own, and raise 'nuclear families' with no outside help. Well it just doesnt work. And they isolate themselves. Then they wonder why they get so depressed well they have nobody (no adults) to talk to all day and while the dads are working miles away.

 

[Lanolin]

I had a friend whos son and duaghter in law preferred to drop their two sons at daycare while both worked, then have their grandparents look after them, and they had the time, they were retired. She said it was expensive and false economy to do this.

But those parents would rather have both worked and paid for daycare than look after their own children or have family look after them. Makes no sense...?

I remmeber a mother i worked with had a daughter, and then a son and went back to work straight after she had the son, saying I couldnt stay home and look after my children I would go mad. So both got dropped off a the workplaces daycare. The daughter would cry every single day.

 

[mar09]

Theres a daycare that leases land from the church I attend, and Im thinking..so this church is being financed by parents who go off to work and leave their children at this daycare?
I once worked for one of these mothers who left her daughter at this daycare, she was only 2 years old, she had to leave her there the whole day while we went round gardening for richer folk. And then pick her up when she finished. The daughter wouldbe very upset when her mother dropped her off.

Now if it were me, and I was a mother with a 2 year old, I would say to my husband, sorry I cant go and earn money, we need to live off one income and I need to be home with daughter and I can create a beautiful garden at home instead of go off and garden for richer people. If I needed a break from looking after my daughter I would call on her aunties or grandparents or arrange play dates with other childrens families. And then I would be teaching my daughter and giving her one on one time.

Possibly I would need to create my own cottage industry from home to supplement the household income, but I think I d rather do that than leave her in a daycare. Ive heard some crazy things about daycare and the amount of waste (in nappies) they produce is phenomenal. But then I dont know maybe daycare is a good thing as it teaches children to be social. And supposedly there are christian daycares. But to me it just seems any big house with a playground attached and a high fence can call themselves a daycare.

I read the posts... but thats one point that got my attention. I remember when our older children were small, we did not use disposables very much=))). I really preferred the cloths, and used the disposable diapers mostly when we went out or at night. There were more and more brands available with the younger kids, but i still minimized when possible!

Now, when i see the amount of diapers used for my grandkids, and all the other children in my country and the world, makes me wonder what where how those are going to end up in good time.

Thanks for your thoughts, lanolin. I realized this is the Proverbs thread, but the discussion is very timely and relevant. I still think many men, even Christian men, still see wives' and mothers' roles as of old, although many things have changed. Sure mothers often have to do much of the training at home (and i truly admire the home schoolers), and by wisdom a house is built.. but the father's role is also critical. That even if they have to work so many hours outside the home, they see that (esp) full-time wives' and mothers' roles can be so complicated, more so with nuclear families who live far or apart from relatives.

The idea of extended families (referring to church families) is so valuable, however many families still have such 'boundaries' that they can reach out or help others only when comfortable or convenient to them. We didnt like to let the kids go to school by school service/bus, and i personally didnt like the idea of a helper taking them to and from school. That was precious time when i walked w/ them esp when their schools were walking distance=). Ah, i found a great verse from jeremiah on what we do for our children. I'll retrieve that and hopefully get back.

 

[he-rat_of_the_circus-mice]

No grandparents? There ought to be four to choose from, and no aunties...? If belonging to a church, there will always be aunties. If a mother has sisters or girlfriends, theres always aunties.

But grandparents get old and die, and some live far, far away. And sometimes, there are no sisters or girlfriends, only brothers (but not boyfriends), so the children only have uncles, and the uncles have to be out at work to provide for their own families. And sometimes, the church is very small, so not many aunties, but the ones there are really old, and it's hard enough for them to breathe by themselves than help with children... :-(

I think the problem is mothers these days think they can do it all on their own, and raise 'nuclear families' with no outside help. Well it just doesnt work. And they isolate themselves. Then they wonder why they get so depressed well they have nobody (no adults) to talk to all day and while the dads are working miles away.

I don't think this is usually caused by mothers thinking they can do it all on their own. Often, I think it actually is that there is no outside help. Or the potential outside help is so bad, it's better to go it alone. Like, the outside help would teach the children bad tricks, or hurt the children in some way, etc. People aren't like what they used to be...

 

[Lanolin]

But grandparents get old and die, and some live far, far away. And sometimes, there are no sisters or girlfriends, only brothers (but not boyfriends), so the children only have uncles, and the uncles have to be out at work to provide for their own families. And sometimes, the church is very small, so not many aunties, but the ones there are really old, and it's hard enough for them to breathe by themselves than help with children... :-(

I don't think this is usually caused by mothers thinking they can do it all on their own. Often, I think it actually is that there is no outside help. Or the potential outside help is so bad, it's better to go it alone. Like, the outside help would teach the children bad tricks, or hurt the children in some way, etc. People aren't like what they used to be...

Dont have children if you cant support them or raise them in a loving environment would be a wise decision in my view.

I do think a lot of mothers think they have to do it on their own, because they just dont trust anyone else to help them. So they go and raise a family far away from their extended family. Many couples who immigrate do this in order to get away from their family, and then think yep we can raise a family on our own and then they start to realise they cant. It will go well for. Afew years when everyone in good health but when inevitable crisies come, they have nobody. Cos they have rejected all offers of support.

 

[Lanolin]

What happens to the children of these parents is they essentially raise themselves. The parents then think well my kids turned out alright cos they self sufficient. But actually they neglected their children so much so that the children do not recognise their parents as actual parents.