Hi,
I have a question regarding receiving the Holy Spirit or regeneration (I believe this is when God's grace falls upon someone so that they are able to believe and receive the Holy Spirit. In scripture, there are implications in multiple passages that it is God who initiates the "rebirth" such as in John 1:12-13 - But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, 13 who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.
Now here is where I get confused. In my personal instance, I grew up going to church as a kid, got baptized, and even did communion BUT I was a kid and didn't understand much. I knew there was a higher power (GOD) and Jesus but that was about it. In my teen/early adult life, I lived life as normal (sinning and not thinking twice about it) and only called out to GOD when I was in trouble or needed something.
Fast forward to the middle of this year and I get hit with guilt like I've never experienced before.....out of nowhere. How can this be? You need to have the Holy Spirit to even be convicted of sin right? How did I get the Holy Spirit if I hadn't took the Christian life seriously my entire life? I have said the sinners prayer before, read a few pamphlets and said I accepted Jesus at one point in my early adult life but still continued on in sin.
I'm puzzled because I thought you had to read the gospels, confess your sins and put your trust in Jesus. My experience wasn't really like this. It was after the conviction (of a particular sin which led to coming clean with other sins) that I repented, asked for forgiveness and decided to learn more about Jesus so that I can put my trust in him and be genuine in my faith. Any thoughts?