The book was called something like, "Ten Lies the Church Tells Women" or something like that. Even though I didn't agree with some of the stuff the author wrote, it was enough for me to realize I was being duped by my church. I'm sure there are plenty of other books on the subject as well.
The best book I ever read was "The Lord Hears Your Cries" and it was a tiny booklet given to me by a counselor as well. There was a page in it entitled "Healthy Anger is a Gift" and it basically explains how anger is God's weapon built into you biologically to help you defend your integrity in Christ and your personal boundaries. It tells how God understands intense anger and offered some psalms written by people who expressed deep anger at cruelty.
As for teaching your children, my young kids and I would write plays, make up songs from the scriptures, dance to upbeat Christian music and just have a good old time learning and growing in Christ. Their father would get so jealous that we'd be having so much fun without him, that he'd join in a lot of times. I didn't have to coax him. Hahaha!!
When I was selected as a mezzo soprano singer for a Christian musical production, it was a miracle because I couldn't read a note of music. My kids would play the music on their string instruments at home and would play it over & over till I memorized my parts. LOL!! So during all of our performances, my kids would be in the front row singing all the songs with us. \
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But I didn't want their dad to feel left out, so I asked if they'd include him in the production crew, setting up, doing whatever to help and so they included him as well. He was so proud of that position. And he got to hear Christian music played over & over and receive that into his heart without my ever having to coax him.