Hello Ive been struggling to return to going to church.
Hello Tumi and Welcome.
It seems that your former church has done a lot of damage somehow. But every church is different, so now you will need to seek out a church that is Gospel preaching and also holds to New Testament church principles
I've been dealing with trying to forgive my previous church for an incident that had occurred.
If you have been saved by grace and had all your sins forgiven, then it should not be a problem to forgive anyone. So the first thing to do is forgive everyone (since you yourself might have been responsible for something). Then forget the past and move on. Holding grudges means that you will keep yourself in bondage to the past and the actions of others.
I also have been having lots of questions because not only am i a woman but i am also a person of colour and just looking to how my faith has been used as a weapon to hurt harm destroy and abuse.
If color is an issue, then seek out a church where those of your nationality or ethnic background gather. While this is not the best solution, it could be the first step in getting rid of negativity.
Since you say you have lots of questions, you need to ask yourself how seriously and deeply you have personally studied the Word of God. If you have not, the it is time to get down to some serious disciplined, systematic Bible study (using all legitimate Bible study tools). Today you have a treasure trove of Bible study tools on the Internet.
I am not saying that Christianity is bad but i have just been going through this struggle for a while now. How can i resolve it and return to fellowshipping and fix my relationship with God?
Forget about *Christianity* or *Christendom*. Just focus on Christ and fellowship with those who are genuine believers who put Christ first.
A WORD OF CAUTION: CHRISTIAN FORUMS HAVE A VARIETY OF PARTICIPANTS SO YOU MIGHT SEE A LOT OF CONFLICTING IDEAS WHICH COULD EASILY CONFUSE YOU. FOCUS ON PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS WITHIN A LOCAL CHURCH.