Truth is an integral ingredient to love. The Bible is very truthful and doesn't mince words or express flatteries. There is a wide gulf between what people want to hear and what is the actual truth that they need to hear. It is actually good that you are having such a reaction, fear of God is the beginning of all wisdom. You are not a sinner for your thoughts, it is enough that you realize your thoughts are wrong and to be repulsed by them, as it were take your thoughts captive. Learning the truth and casting aside thoughts and feelings is good and is part of growing real love, first for God and then second for mankind, you will do well to continue in this path you are on, may Jesus bless you.
