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LOL. You just gave ole H.R. a whole new meaning ! btw: I havent had anyone refer to him except myself. He was one of my favs back in the day of cartoon watching
TOP TEN WAYS YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN A BAD CHURCH
10. The church bus has gun racks.
9. The church staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor and Socio-pastor.
8. The Bible they use is the "Dr. Seuss Version."
7. There is an ATM in the lobby.
6. The choir wears leather robes.
5. Worship services are B.Y.O.S. -- "Bring Your Own Snake."
4. No cover charge, but communion is a two-drink minimum.
3. Karaoke Worship Time.
2. Ushers ask, "Smoking or Non-smoking?" (cigarettes)
1. The only song the organist knows is "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida."
And now we need to add #11. - They smoke pot there.
10. The church bus has gun racks.
9. The church staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor and Socio-pastor.
8. The Bible they use is the "Dr. Seuss Version."
7. There is an ATM in the lobby.
6. The choir wears leather robes.
5. Worship services are B.Y.O.S. -- "Bring Your Own Snake."
4. No cover charge, but communion is a two-drink minimum.
3. Karaoke Worship Time.
2. Ushers ask, "Smoking or Non-smoking?" (cigarettes)
1. The only song the organist knows is "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida."
And now we need to add #11. - They smoke pot there.
Top 6 ways you know your not in a NT assembly at all.
1. The seats all face one direction. How do you minister 'one to another' facing the back of someone's head?
2. One man and a team do all the ministering before a passive paying audience. Usually from an exalted podium.
3. A canned program is followed, leaving no room for the Spirit to move.
4. A band with worship leaders pump up the crowd with exciting music then call it the anointing.
5. A guilt trip is used to siphon the false tithe out of your wallet, leaving the poor destitute even more.
6. You are dismissed and told to shake someone's hand before leaving. Maybe talk about football! This is called the 'fellowship of the Saints'!
Now check out the NT and see if this squares with the word.....don't bother....it does not!
1. The seats all face one direction. How do you minister 'one to another' facing the back of someone's head?
2. One man and a team do all the ministering before a passive paying audience. Usually from an exalted podium.
3. A canned program is followed, leaving no room for the Spirit to move.
4. A band with worship leaders pump up the crowd with exciting music then call it the anointing.
5. A guilt trip is used to siphon the false tithe out of your wallet, leaving the poor destitute even more.
6. You are dismissed and told to shake someone's hand before leaving. Maybe talk about football! This is called the 'fellowship of the Saints'!
Now check out the NT and see if this squares with the word.....don't bother....it does not!