Thanks you all for your advice and comments, I really appreciate it.
What you are saying is not resonating with me though, I can't help it. I do not and have never felt what you describe as the Holy spirit, and praying doesn't seem to help. Maybe I'm on the wrong forum, I feel like I stepped through the looking glass here. Understand though that I do not mean to offend.
I'm questioning the meaning of faith, and of the terms you use like "guidance from the Holy spirit", "wisdom from above", "trust in the Lord", "accepting Jesus"... It seems like a cop out to me, a way to reach a conclusion about the meaning of it all, without having to deal with facts and reasons and evidence. You are telling me "faith" trumps "wordly knowledge". To me it sounds like "believing without suficient evidence " trumps "evidence based knowledge" to determine what is true. I'm utterly baffled by this. you are talking about some kind of "subjective truth". Have any of you ever studied any philosophy, have any exposure to epistemology, psychology, cognitive sciences? Nobody in his right mind can advocate that subsituting emotions for evidence is going to lead to truth, the risk of error is tremendous.
I cannot help but think that what you are saying boils down to a very subjective conclusion, nothing objective, concrete, nothing certain or even probable. For example, if faith, "wisdom from above" was in anyway reliable, I would expect everybody to agree about the important stuff, because it would be obvious to anybody who honestly asks.
If God wants everyone to be a good christian, because christianity is the one true faith, why would God allow 40 000 different christian denominations, not counting the various jewish sects, the mormons, the jehova's witnesses, the muslims...Why would God give all those admirers of Him, according to THEIR testimony, spiritual experiences and the urge to write down or re interpret scriptures in ways that would confirm their own faith tradition and send them on that trajectory?
"Wisdom from above" is too vague, too subjective, to open to interpretation to have any value, to be of any help to find truth, how else do we explain the fact that there is more than even one church?
Surely to know we are right, we need to have more than a very subjective "guidance from the Holy spirit" to ground our worldviews, to acertain they are correct... if a vague subjective feeling is what it takes to "know" the truth, then anything goes, who's to say the hindoo, the muslim, the jew or the mormon are not the ones favored by God? If we're all saying: "we're the ones who got it right because God tells us so in our heart" then frankly there is no way to determine who is right and anything goes. That's a huge problem, don't you see it?