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There are so many small things God is working on inside me, it's almost scary. Because I know that I have major issues I need to deal with.
But basically, there was something I wanted to share with you all.
I'm only 17 years old, but 1 Timothy 4:12 basically says it all. When I was 11, going on 12, my private school that we had at our church closed down, and all of my closest friends that I had known since I had just turned 7, were all leaving. My absolute best friend moved 400 miles away, and my second best friend's dad is a secret agent, so they have to constantly move and change names due to being on multiple hit lists, so I was pretty sure I'd never ever see them again.
And some of my other friends stayed in the area, but we pretty much just never contacted each other. And then just a few more of my close friends goes to our church, but they never talk to me anymore.
Basically, when all of these relationships ended, I felt extremely hurt and sad inside. And I developed this fear of relationships, because I felt like, in the end, they were all going to leave, and I'd feel extremely hurt and sad all over again.
But being a loner wasn't a good thing. It was eating me up on the inside. I would feel like other people were pushing me away, ignoring me, but in the end, it turns up it was me who was pushing them away.
We're not called to walk with God by ourselves. Remember, the church is his bride, not an individual. We're called to walk corporately, as one body in Christ. When we give Jesus our fears, we'll stand boldly before the enemy.
There's nothing wrong with doubts, doubts show that you're earnestly searching for something more, something deeper. But the question is, are you willing to give up your easy life, willing to die to selfishness and your desires, to follow God and his will and purpose?
We can give God good pleasure. Ever realize that? And his pleasure is never outside of his will. How can we know his will if we're not pursuing him, and not doing what we already know to be right? If you're wrong, God won't condemn you. He considers you his child. Remember, how even an evil parent knows how to give good gifts to his children? How much more will a good God give to you?
But basically, there was something I wanted to share with you all.
I'm only 17 years old, but 1 Timothy 4:12 basically says it all. When I was 11, going on 12, my private school that we had at our church closed down, and all of my closest friends that I had known since I had just turned 7, were all leaving. My absolute best friend moved 400 miles away, and my second best friend's dad is a secret agent, so they have to constantly move and change names due to being on multiple hit lists, so I was pretty sure I'd never ever see them again.
And some of my other friends stayed in the area, but we pretty much just never contacted each other. And then just a few more of my close friends goes to our church, but they never talk to me anymore.
Basically, when all of these relationships ended, I felt extremely hurt and sad inside. And I developed this fear of relationships, because I felt like, in the end, they were all going to leave, and I'd feel extremely hurt and sad all over again.
But being a loner wasn't a good thing. It was eating me up on the inside. I would feel like other people were pushing me away, ignoring me, but in the end, it turns up it was me who was pushing them away.
We're not called to walk with God by ourselves. Remember, the church is his bride, not an individual. We're called to walk corporately, as one body in Christ. When we give Jesus our fears, we'll stand boldly before the enemy.
There's nothing wrong with doubts, doubts show that you're earnestly searching for something more, something deeper. But the question is, are you willing to give up your easy life, willing to die to selfishness and your desires, to follow God and his will and purpose?
We can give God good pleasure. Ever realize that? And his pleasure is never outside of his will. How can we know his will if we're not pursuing him, and not doing what we already know to be right? If you're wrong, God won't condemn you. He considers you his child. Remember, how even an evil parent knows how to give good gifts to his children? How much more will a good God give to you?
