After everything, I felt I was at the edge of the cliff.
Higher than I had ever been, but the fall would be devastating.
There was this rush of emotion – of anger, despair and grief.
I cried out, “Even my earthly father would never allow me to be at this point. You have brought me to the very edge. How could you God!”
I wanted comfort. I wanted reassurance. I wanted an apology of sorts.
Then a voice rushed over me – “If you are not at the edge, then how would you appreciate the beauty and the adventure?”
I was both awestruck and angered. That was not the response I wanted.
I had this image of myself, on the floor kneeling – battered and bruised.
I felt like a zombie and I was one because I constantly had to get up and get back to battle.
I have no option to quit. I cannot do that.
I felt the pain of the doors shutting, even as they “half-opened”.
I felt hopelessness and fear.
I wanted to be told that it would end soon. I wanted to be told I would be relieved from the constant assault.
Instead, God emphasized this to me again. “You are not what you think you are. You are stronger than this. You can overcome this. You are a far greater warrior. ”
This is when I realized that at the edge of the cliff, God is more than able to support and catch me, if I ever fall.
My earthly father, as wonderful, protective and super fit as he is – cannot always save me.
God said, let the weak say I am strong. His grace is enough because His strength is made perfect in our weakness.
So when God tells me to enjoy the beauty and the adventure at the very edge, I will.
Higher than I had ever been, but the fall would be devastating.
There was this rush of emotion – of anger, despair and grief.
I cried out, “Even my earthly father would never allow me to be at this point. You have brought me to the very edge. How could you God!”
I wanted comfort. I wanted reassurance. I wanted an apology of sorts.
Then a voice rushed over me – “If you are not at the edge, then how would you appreciate the beauty and the adventure?”
I was both awestruck and angered. That was not the response I wanted.
I had this image of myself, on the floor kneeling – battered and bruised.
I felt like a zombie and I was one because I constantly had to get up and get back to battle.
I have no option to quit. I cannot do that.
I felt the pain of the doors shutting, even as they “half-opened”.
I felt hopelessness and fear.
I wanted to be told that it would end soon. I wanted to be told I would be relieved from the constant assault.
Instead, God emphasized this to me again. “You are not what you think you are. You are stronger than this. You can overcome this. You are a far greater warrior. ”
This is when I realized that at the edge of the cliff, God is more than able to support and catch me, if I ever fall.
My earthly father, as wonderful, protective and super fit as he is – cannot always save me.
God said, let the weak say I am strong. His grace is enough because His strength is made perfect in our weakness.
So when God tells me to enjoy the beauty and the adventure at the very edge, I will.
