It is a shame when a girl that is just coming to a chat room for casual chat gets hit with a deluge of unwanted, intrusive private messages from men. It is a shame when being in a christian chat room feels like THIS.
I no longer will accept any PMS from ANYBODY except mods or staff. Since some of you might honestly be searching for a date, I thought maybe I would give you a few HINTS on how NOT to offend your prey , I mean victims, I mean objects of obsessive internet stalking... whatever.
Clue 1. We might not be single.
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The only other option to tic here is married, and many people are engaged but not yet married. Don't assume single means single.
Clue 2. Don't ask a million personal questions off the bat like a job interviewer.
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If you ask a girl 90 personal questions in a row, and she's not showing any such interest back in you, chances are she is trying to be nice but feels very uncomfortable. I don't know if you have ever been to a livestock auction. Before a farmer buys a horse for instance, they might check it's teeth, slap it on the back, ask if she's given birth before, etc.
Believe it or not guys, many times when I get pulled aside for a totally unwanted interview I feel just as crudely inspected. You might as well ask me if I still have teeth and if I have birthing hips. It's awful. There's nothing charming about it, especially when I'm trying to figure out when to interrupt your questions about my teeth to inform you I have a boyfriend.
Clue 3. Talk to someone in the main room until you become familiar enough to private message them.
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One particularly clueless chap asked me "It's a chatroom right? This is how we get to know each other."
...Well, Mister Social Ineptitude, not necessarily. You appearing in my private box and asking 90 personal questions in a row interrupting my chat with real friends, is sort of like showing up at a busy party and dragging me to a back bedroom to sit me on the bed and make me answer a string of interview questions about my work, education, church, family, and if I have any sexy nurse costumes at home. (Shudder). I am left squirming and wondering when you will stop and let me return to my friends. Really, it is that unpleasant.
Why not join us in the main chat room and join the party, instead of pulling your victim aside, at least until you get to know a girl first. You might find she is engaged, in love with someone else, or is struggling with life issues that are a lot more important than getting a date. Try this. Hang out in the main room and listen for a while, Join in the public conversation. Get a feel for people.
When you do venture in to private, don't barrage the person with interview questions that are clearly designed to see if they measure up to what you are looking for in a farm animal, I mean breeding mare, I mean potential partner. Chat casually with an honest desire to know them as a friend, and take turns talking. There's a clear difference in the tone of conversation. If there is a real conversation going on it can even be pleasant.
Clue 4 Don't act so desperate
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Don't act so pathetically desperate. Please. I know you might have lost your first 6 wives, your pet lizard, your job, and now you are living in your parent's basement eating fungus that grows on your socks. Maybe you really do believe your life is going to end if a girl on the internet doesn't respond to your bids for attention. But really if a girl DOES talk to you, you need to keep in mind this is just the internet, she probably lives hundreds of miles away, and she's most likely not going to put her life on hold for you. LIGHTEN UP and don't act like you are going to fall apart if she doesn't contact you. Really. Lighten up. It's scary.
I no longer will accept any PMS from ANYBODY except mods or staff. Since some of you might honestly be searching for a date, I thought maybe I would give you a few HINTS on how NOT to offend your prey , I mean victims, I mean objects of obsessive internet stalking... whatever.
Clue 1. We might not be single.
View attachment 55254
The only other option to tic here is married, and many people are engaged but not yet married. Don't assume single means single.
Clue 2. Don't ask a million personal questions off the bat like a job interviewer.
View attachment 55257
If you ask a girl 90 personal questions in a row, and she's not showing any such interest back in you, chances are she is trying to be nice but feels very uncomfortable. I don't know if you have ever been to a livestock auction. Before a farmer buys a horse for instance, they might check it's teeth, slap it on the back, ask if she's given birth before, etc.
Believe it or not guys, many times when I get pulled aside for a totally unwanted interview I feel just as crudely inspected. You might as well ask me if I still have teeth and if I have birthing hips. It's awful. There's nothing charming about it, especially when I'm trying to figure out when to interrupt your questions about my teeth to inform you I have a boyfriend.
Clue 3. Talk to someone in the main room until you become familiar enough to private message them.
View attachment 55252
One particularly clueless chap asked me "It's a chatroom right? This is how we get to know each other."
...Well, Mister Social Ineptitude, not necessarily. You appearing in my private box and asking 90 personal questions in a row interrupting my chat with real friends, is sort of like showing up at a busy party and dragging me to a back bedroom to sit me on the bed and make me answer a string of interview questions about my work, education, church, family, and if I have any sexy nurse costumes at home. (Shudder). I am left squirming and wondering when you will stop and let me return to my friends. Really, it is that unpleasant.
Why not join us in the main chat room and join the party, instead of pulling your victim aside, at least until you get to know a girl first. You might find she is engaged, in love with someone else, or is struggling with life issues that are a lot more important than getting a date. Try this. Hang out in the main room and listen for a while, Join in the public conversation. Get a feel for people.
When you do venture in to private, don't barrage the person with interview questions that are clearly designed to see if they measure up to what you are looking for in a farm animal, I mean breeding mare, I mean potential partner. Chat casually with an honest desire to know them as a friend, and take turns talking. There's a clear difference in the tone of conversation. If there is a real conversation going on it can even be pleasant.
Clue 4 Don't act so desperate
View attachment 55258
Don't act so pathetically desperate. Please. I know you might have lost your first 6 wives, your pet lizard, your job, and now you are living in your parent's basement eating fungus that grows on your socks. Maybe you really do believe your life is going to end if a girl on the internet doesn't respond to your bids for attention. But really if a girl DOES talk to you, you need to keep in mind this is just the internet, she probably lives hundreds of miles away, and she's most likely not going to put her life on hold for you. LIGHTEN UP and don't act like you are going to fall apart if she doesn't contact you. Really. Lighten up. It's scary.