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View attachment 57059
I know the Lord has a direction for me, I just have no idea what it is.
I find myself feeling like I don't want to be bothered with the people inside my family.
Or maybe I am just annoyed that its 9 am on a Saturday and I cant chat on the phone or chill in my room without someone coming in telling me they need something.
I mean, for goodness sakes its Saturday??
It really just grinds my gears. But I pray the Lord holds my tounge and guides my feet because I don't want my feelings to get ahead of me and then sinning.
Everyone is telling me to just let my old relationship go. Even strangers!
sometimes I feel as if they just don't understand...how difficult it is to love someone, go through things and then just have them throw in the towel and act like a complete stranger.
To have your dreams crushed, heartbroken, feelings betrayed and to be disrespected in such a way that it feels like your soul is bring ripped out of your body through your noes.
I feel nauseous whenever I think about what happened, whenever I think about who he started to become or was all along.
I loved this person. I fought for us to the very end, I never accept defeat. So this time, its so hard to accept. I wanted to be His wife.
It just really, isn't something that you just accept. This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my entire life, so far.
Everyday I think I gets better. It comes back and gnaws at me....If he could betray me an hurt me like this. How could I trust anyone else....I cant see myself with anyone else....
...now this blog is starting to sound pathetic..
lol
Finding myself in all this...will be an awesome testimony. I just cant wait till its over. So I can move to another state.
I find myself feeling like I don't want to be bothered with the people inside my family.
Or maybe I am just annoyed that its 9 am on a Saturday and I cant chat on the phone or chill in my room without someone coming in telling me they need something.
I mean, for goodness sakes its Saturday??
It really just grinds my gears. But I pray the Lord holds my tounge and guides my feet because I don't want my feelings to get ahead of me and then sinning.
Everyone is telling me to just let my old relationship go. Even strangers!
sometimes I feel as if they just don't understand...how difficult it is to love someone, go through things and then just have them throw in the towel and act like a complete stranger.
To have your dreams crushed, heartbroken, feelings betrayed and to be disrespected in such a way that it feels like your soul is bring ripped out of your body through your noes.
I feel nauseous whenever I think about what happened, whenever I think about who he started to become or was all along.
I loved this person. I fought for us to the very end, I never accept defeat. So this time, its so hard to accept. I wanted to be His wife.
It just really, isn't something that you just accept. This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my entire life, so far.
Everyday I think I gets better. It comes back and gnaws at me....If he could betray me an hurt me like this. How could I trust anyone else....I cant see myself with anyone else....
...now this blog is starting to sound pathetic..
lol
Finding myself in all this...will be an awesome testimony. I just cant wait till its over. So I can move to another state.