Romance and love are two different things.
Romance is what the world wants you to believe what love is: Nicholas Sparks, Disney, Valentine's Day, etc.
--Kissing in the rain
--Rose petals and champagne
--"Noooo, YOU hang up first! *giggle*"
--Moonlight serenades
Actual love is too busy for that stuff. Because actual LOVE is busy doing this:
--Changing a poopy-diaper instead of watching the final game-winning drive
--Scrounging up a homemade meal after a 12-hour workday because even fast-food is too expensive
--Skipping out on any Christmas gifts for yourself or your spouse to make sure bills are paid
--Praying and crying together when a parent-in-law or sibling-in-law dies
--Working extra hours so your spouse can finish that degree
--Making the bed every morning, because they like it made even though you think it's a waste of time
--Using your hard-earned day off to clean and prep the house for a visit from your in-laws
--Fighting over an undone chore, an impulse purchase, or an unthoughtful remark
--Doing things the way God says in the Bible, rather than take the easy way out
--Actually talking out fears and frustrations, rather than hiding at the bar or coffee shop for hours
--Watching them suffer through chemotherapy, or surgery, or depression
--Driving the rusted out junkpile for another year or two because they needed the newer car more
--Not sleeping while you instead, help your offspring with ANOTHER diorama for school
--Walking, feeding, and cleaning up after a dog you never wanted
Who's ready to sign up for a lifetime of THAT?! Sounds AWESOME, right?
Of course it doesn't. Romance is an idea, which makes it a noun, a feeling, a thing. Love is what you DO...as DCTalk once sang, love is a VERB. So we buy the lie about romance, thinking that's the ideal version of love. But when it comes time to LOVE, to actually DO...and we find out that love is NOT romance, roughly 50% of people find out that being romantic isn't enough to actually LOVE, and another marriage fails.
Romance is what you create because YOU WANT. You want, "need," that other person in your life. So you create romance to win them over.
Love is what you do, because THEY NEED. They need something, and you do the providing for that need, because you don't want them to have unmet needs. To be loved in return is no different, your partner equally thinking of YOUR need, and wanting to provide for you.
Christ doesn't romance us. He doesn't woo us or seduce us...He loves because we need, and He can provide for our need if we are willing to give ourselves to Him. THAT'S our model of love.
In the end, all romance does is lead you to the bedroom. Nice, but not sustainable. Also, far too much work for far too little reward. (Seriously, getting laid doesn't actually require romance, but in a day and age where people can barely distinguish 'being loved' from 'making love,' well...) Love leads to pain and sacrifice, but the comfort of knowing you aren't alone, and that someone is going to be with you when your life is hardest, when times are darkest, when anyone one else would abandon you.
Do I believe romance exists? Sure. I also believe that Twinkies exist. But I also know better than to eat nothing but Twinkies and expect healthy results...
