I've spent the last couple hours in a bit of a depressed state. Why? Because I've been thinking about the fact that it's rather unlikely that any of my dreams or desires will ever come true. Let's consider what I want to do:
The chances I will ever write a story so compelling that it will out-do hundreds of other competing stories is extremely unlikely. The only other option is self-publishing; which I may actually need to look into. But a novel? Probably not going to happen.
I plan on going straight into the web development field once I graduate college. As a Lutheran, my best bet would be Concordia Seminary, but there's no way I could reasonably handle classes, even part time, while working in web dev. At best I could utilize online resources and have seminary knowledge, while never actually having the degree. Plus I have no intentions of being a pastor, so actually going to one of these colleges is silly.
There are many people who make a decent amount of money by doing stuff online. One way I see a lot is making let's play videos. I want to do that. I want to make money like that. Perhaps not enough to live a luxurious life, but ideally enough I could sustain myself. But, like publishing a novel, getting a good income from that is really difficult. It requires more hours of work than I can ever devote, being a college student and whatnot.
I want to be good at my craft, really good. The problem is, web development is such a large area that there's no way I'd even make the slightest name for myself. Which I suppose is alright since all I really look forward to is getting employed wherever I can. But being a JavaScript guru who specializes in some really specific field of research? Not going to happen.
I Want to Do Great Things
Despite all these things being terribly unlikely, there's this inexplicable drive in me. I want to write, I want to code, I want to make a name for myself. I want to teach the Bible. Yet I know that in the large scheme, it's unlikely I will make a meaningful impact in the world. And the chances of me attaining those big lofty goals? Kind of bleak. So what pushes me on? Am I deluded? Why keep going?
A Cultural Mandate
In Genesis 1:28, man kind is given the command to subdue the Earth and take dominion over it. Theologians have come to understand this as the "cultural mandate." It is the duty of all people, not just Christians, to take the basic resources of the Earth and make something great from it. Technology, science, philosophy, arts, cultures, these things are what God intended with the cultural mandate. Of course, it's intended to be for God's glory, so only Christians can properly carry out the mandate. I've thought a lot about this mandate recently, and I think in it lies a key to the solution I need.
My problem is that I want to do these things, but they are so improbable that to try and accomplish them is basically meaningless. I have better things to do with my time than spend it on futile pipe dreams. There is no point to it. And therein lies my answer. What if I give these things a healthy dose of reality, and a point?
If I were to do these things for God, then they would be so much more worthwhile, and much more doable. While I may not write a novel that would make it big in Christian bookstores, surely there are other places I could go with my writing. Or consider video making? I like Minecraft, and I like making Minecraft videos. The idea of doing those videos for God is very motivating. I know of someone who already does that, and it's invariable that in his livestreams, the topic of Christianity will show up.
- Publish a novel
The chances I will ever write a story so compelling that it will out-do hundreds of other competing stories is extremely unlikely. The only other option is self-publishing; which I may actually need to look into. But a novel? Probably not going to happen.
- Go to seminary
I plan on going straight into the web development field once I graduate college. As a Lutheran, my best bet would be Concordia Seminary, but there's no way I could reasonably handle classes, even part time, while working in web dev. At best I could utilize online resources and have seminary knowledge, while never actually having the degree. Plus I have no intentions of being a pastor, so actually going to one of these colleges is silly.
- Make money online/via YouTube
There are many people who make a decent amount of money by doing stuff online. One way I see a lot is making let's play videos. I want to do that. I want to make money like that. Perhaps not enough to live a luxurious life, but ideally enough I could sustain myself. But, like publishing a novel, getting a good income from that is really difficult. It requires more hours of work than I can ever devote, being a college student and whatnot.
- Stand out as a programmer
I want to be good at my craft, really good. The problem is, web development is such a large area that there's no way I'd even make the slightest name for myself. Which I suppose is alright since all I really look forward to is getting employed wherever I can. But being a JavaScript guru who specializes in some really specific field of research? Not going to happen.
I Want to Do Great Things
Despite all these things being terribly unlikely, there's this inexplicable drive in me. I want to write, I want to code, I want to make a name for myself. I want to teach the Bible. Yet I know that in the large scheme, it's unlikely I will make a meaningful impact in the world. And the chances of me attaining those big lofty goals? Kind of bleak. So what pushes me on? Am I deluded? Why keep going?
A Cultural Mandate
In Genesis 1:28, man kind is given the command to subdue the Earth and take dominion over it. Theologians have come to understand this as the "cultural mandate." It is the duty of all people, not just Christians, to take the basic resources of the Earth and make something great from it. Technology, science, philosophy, arts, cultures, these things are what God intended with the cultural mandate. Of course, it's intended to be for God's glory, so only Christians can properly carry out the mandate. I've thought a lot about this mandate recently, and I think in it lies a key to the solution I need.
My problem is that I want to do these things, but they are so improbable that to try and accomplish them is basically meaningless. I have better things to do with my time than spend it on futile pipe dreams. There is no point to it. And therein lies my answer. What if I give these things a healthy dose of reality, and a point?
If I were to do these things for God, then they would be so much more worthwhile, and much more doable. While I may not write a novel that would make it big in Christian bookstores, surely there are other places I could go with my writing. Or consider video making? I like Minecraft, and I like making Minecraft videos. The idea of doing those videos for God is very motivating. I know of someone who already does that, and it's invariable that in his livestreams, the topic of Christianity will show up.