It is so foolish to waste this time

Today, as I sat at my desk at work, I thought, "It is so foolish that I am wasting my time." You see, I have begun to settle for lukewarm living. And, though I desire Christ so fully and completely to overtake me and overwhelm me and for me to be caught up in the wonder of Him, to worship Him and know Him, I would rather turn off my brain and forget who I am for awhile.

I need passion. Why do I not have passion? I use to have it. Spades and spades of it, in fact. Mortal wounds inflicted upon my heart, my soul, and now I drift aimlessly from feeling to feeling. You know, when I am distant from Him, I am so angry. So very angry. And nothing matters. It is such a contradictory feeling. I am angry and yet I do not care.

I just want to move past the pain and the error and be completely His again, for time is too short for me to foolishly squander it this way.

Dear Mystdancer50,
I was in your position a while back. I felt like my whole life had gone to hell in a handbag. Then I remembered three bible verses from the pauliean epistles, and
after reading them I realized I was never more than a prayer away from the only one who can help us.

(II Cor 12:9) "and he (Jesus) said unto me" my grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made purfect in weakness" Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me"

Romans 5:3-5. " And not only [so], but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience,
hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad
in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us"

Philippians 4:6-7. " Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus"

If you would, read these over a few times and allow them to sink in.
you will be amazed at how soothing Gods word is.

Mystdancer50, let's run this race well. I want to be part of something that changes the atmosphere, something that changes the physical, emotional and spiritual landscape and environment. I want to partner with our Almighty and powerful God in a movement that shakes the earth and rattles our souls. You may be so many miles away, Mystdancer50, I may never sit down with you and laugh over coffee, but take my hand, and in the other, take the Lord's, and let us persevere and go from glory to glory.

Your passion has not escaped you, you are not numb to this overwhelming passion I feel, I know because if You have had some kind of experience of the indescribable love of our Father, then you have an idea about His heart and what we have been called to do.

Remember and call to the forefront of your mind the testimonies of God's goodness in your life. Remember what it was like when you first gave your life to God (I don't know your story, but hey, I'm just rolling with it), call to mind the taste of victories from the past, not in a way that makes you defeated in the present, but to rouse the passion in the now.

I want to fight, Myst, I want to strike out with an intense love that has already been given to me, I want to break the works of darkness through prayer and the authority that has been given me, and let it tumble relentlessly from my lips, I want the Holy Spirit to come like a wave over cities and nations and I want to be part of the generation that witnesses a movement of God that has the entire world on a stand still. Let us fight the good fight, together. Put on your armour of God, take up the sword of the Spirit, your shield of faith, and let us shout, giving glory to our God most high. Together, Myst, let's bring His Kingdom here, on earth, as it is in Heaven. Let us run this race well.

(I'm sorry if I sound big headed like I know what I'm talking about. I really don't always know where on earth my rants are going, but if anything in that is politically incorrect, then I'm sorry/had too much sugar)

No choice but overcome.
If you think i'm being cruel,then you will find many like me maybe not even close to you.If comparison is wrong,then Look at the Cross of Christ.There is enough reason to carry the cross(ours) again.

I was there as well. I was drawn more and more, little-by-little, into the world. Even though my dreams were attained -- even though my church life was seemingly engaged -- I felt as if I were meaningless to God. But I knew what I had to do.

As a child...pre-salvation and post, I promised myself that I would fight the abuse I endured. To do that, meant I needed reveal the unspeakable to a few folk in my life. Such a revelation turned my 'world' upside-down. Now I'm in a battle like no other. I never even imagined the scale of the army against me.

I got what I had asked God for, and it is massive.

Be prepared! Be prepared in both heart and soul. Expect the unexpected...but you likely already know, down-deep or up-top, what cause, issue, need, you felt compelled to engage.

Such an 'engagement' requires a redistribution of your time, heart and soul.