On Appearance

As a Christian, I have experienced more than a polite amount of pressure to attend to my appearance by other other Christians. This always befuddles me. My first reaction is to feel shame and consider that the criticism comes from a caring individual; but it is sadly misplaced. I have struggled through the years when approached by older women in the church who suggest I dress a certain way, applaud me when they think I am looking "nice", and even buy me clothes that they believe will help me achieve a presentation of what they consider appropriate. The pressures people create that I am expected to conform to only increase the burdens I tend to carry naturally. Therefore; although I have attempted to comply in order to appease, I will no longer allow the opinions of others to dictate my self worth (if I can help it).
I am now a 33 year old woman with 5 children; my appearance is not a top priority. I simply do not have the resources or time to indulge in accumulating clothing that will generate a response of approval from society. Furthermore, I have my personal taste and I tend to express myself moderately in the frugal purchases that I am able to make. I don't wear makeup and I never have. For me, putting makeup on is like covering up. I don't care to cover up my features, or try to enhance them. My reason for not wearing makeup is connected to my personal values and philosophies.
Somewhere in the Bible there is a verse that states something (paraphrased), "Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart." I was talking to God about the subject of appearance recently and that bit came to mind...even more I am examining the damage that demands for appearance alterations create as i am watching my 12 year-old daughter attempt to experiment in this realm.
I have also heard women talk about how they want to be young forever and incorporate God into their ideas of how they want to be beautiful, whatever that means to them. I myself used to ask God, as a child, why I was overweight and miserable. The truth is, I have concluded, God is not concerned with any of that stuff. If genetics are responsible for what our bodies look like, then how much does it really have to do with His concern?
When we die, we leave our bodies behind to rot. I would prefer to live and let the world think I am ugly, but live with a purpose and with compassion; touching and inspiring people's lives; than waste my time grooming to alter myself in order to be more pleasing to behold to others...or to validate them.

God cares about the heart not the outer appearance of a person and I can't stand people who judge others by appearance and some might say that is just what an ugly person says lol

Christians more than anyone should be ashamed for judging others by their looks

Blain: You are a young man. It isnt scriptural for you to give her advice about these things. Leave itto women to tend to womanly things. Just sayin.. See> scripture

BekahB5:
There are extremes with anything. Its about BALANCE! When we dont care for ourselves it is an outward reflection of whats in our hearts.
Exercise,proper nutrition, and maintaining a healthy weight for our frame is not vanity. We are caring for our temple. We only have one. We must be a good steward to all God has provided.
Look at proverbs 31. She wore beautiful fine fabrics but Her clothing was honor and strength. She is the woman of refinement and grace. She wasnt a harlot! Is she committing sin for wearing silk and the color purple?

Beauty is vain when it is out of balance! There is nothing wrong with applying cosmetics to the skin to provide nourishment and protection from the elements. Otherwise, you will look very old at a young age. Even if its just moisturizer for your skin that is tinted to balance out the pigment. A little mascara simply brings out your eyes. Pinching your cheeks or applying a lil blush only accents that your have contour in your face. Applying a lip almost nude tone to your lips is not a bad thing. SPF's come tinted.

Like I said: Its all about balance. You dont have to painted up like a clown and done up to the nines to look good. There is a correct way and an incorrect way. You can look natural ! You are representing God when you step out. Take some responsibility in presenting your very best . First impressions do count.

Your point of view is out of balance. Maybe you are depressed or you are lazy? How can you represent the KING when you step out looking unkempt and not pulled together.

I do not adhere to botox,face lifts,lipo suction, or anything else in that category but I do make the best of what God gave me. I merely celebrate my femininity. I am a woman and I want to look like a woman.

Balance! Balance! Balance! It has nothing to do with self worth. You have created that nonsense in your head all on your own.
Blessings

I don't think it's up to you to decide if I can or can't give her advice, I don't care what a person looks like I am interested in their hearts and God is the same. I think she is beautiful no matter what she wears or no matter if she pretties herself up she is royalty a princess and her beauty radiates from within

I referred you to scripture or was it not obvious enough for you? You say whatever you want but it holds no merit. Its a girl thing. Its kinda like me chiming in with guy talk and acting as if my vain flattery is going to make a difference.

Blain: thanks for having the intelligence and insight to understand the point I am making.
I appreciate it. Also, your last statement about Christians and judgment is so right on. Keep it up.

BIDH: I find it extremely disrespectful and tasteless to condemn the other participant for expressing their reaction to the blog posting i created. I assure you, I do not align with your opinions "it's a girl thing"...some of the vainest people I know are men. If someone has an opinion and you feel "it holds no merit", then how can your opinion be valued by others?
As for calling me depressed and lazy, etc. ; I only chuckle at your ignorance. Have a nice day.

BIDH: I just want to say THANK YOU for demonstrating the EXACT mentality that I am describing.

Wow! I liked your post and saw the merit in what you portrayed, however there's a difference between not letting people dictate your appearance and not caring about your appearance and coming out unkempt. There's no conclusion that the latter is your case because you didn't say that.
Still, BIDH was right about about the balance and I have to agree with some of what she said. You're 33 with children, thank God, but It wouldn't do for very young people to go about thinking they shouldn't care about appearances.
It's okay to look good as long as it does not become an obsession.

Yes, it's true, the balance argument is one that can be applied to almost any topic.
It's not about not caring about appearance, it IS about not allowing others to influence your self-worth and generate oppression under the guise of spiritual concern. I do wax, trim, and select clothing according to how I care to maintain and express myself and I think this is beneficial for my overall self-care. I intentionally do not apply makeup for the reasons I stated above. However; I have no problem with others who wish to do as they do. How many church people I have seen dressed to the nines, shouting the loudest, and "prophesying" whilst they slander, judge, and look down at others....Jesus put the beggar at the head of the banquet table. The one who was scorned. What are we focusing on and why? This may be the real question.

It doesn't matter what I wear. T-shirt and track pants with a messy bun I'm clean, I'm comfortable... I'm confident. WE are all different and like to wear different clothes. Not all women are stereotypically feminine, nor should they feel pressured to put chemicals on their face. if God wanted us to look the same he would of.

Well said, EYELASHJOY!

sorry for the late reply. One can show all the scriptures they want but that doesn't make them right. Scripture can be applied to any discussion or argument but scripture alone doesn't make your view right, scripture sadly can be misused and twisted and taken out of context to make any kind of point (valid) but if you think that posting scripture makes you right your wrong and my opinion matters too.

Think about Jesus if you will, he is the king of kings he is the Lord of Lords his realm and his kingship is one of gold and royalty brilliance and honor but when he came to us did he wear his crown? did he bear the kingship for all to see? no in fact no one would have ever guessed who he was he didn't stand out and looked like a normal average joe. this shows me how little God cares about physical appearance it's fine to look nice but thisis not what makes a person.

in all honesty making ourselves look nice is more about caring what others think not so much us, and btw I grew up in a house of girls so I know much more about all of this than you would think