Some ideas comefrom jokes and these sometimes have some truths: Men should be PROVIDERS sincewomen are their receptacles... When this role function changes, Eve becomes alife provider, more than giving children, and she comes home with forbiddenfruits; so I don´t want to live out Adam´s failures. I´ve seen toomany couples having trouble with their economy. The man is not the provideror,in that case, he gives less than what it is expected to. He pretends to rulethat aspect of the relationship and he is lacking what it is needed, desired orconsidered above certain level. Why am I to be married if I am not an averageman? Modern cultureexpects you to be the giver, the gardener who brings food, things andunnecessary stuff home. Once a woman does it, she regrets you are not givingmore and sometimes she thinks she gives more than you; and let it be know thatare some who give their all to receive nothing (or too little) in turn. I am notfeminist! I know they like unnecessary stuff. They love things women love andmen despise, but they are so and we are how we are. Some long a perfect home,some like to live in a castle and planned their husbands pay for a weddingwhere 200 hundred people come and be entertained. Will you pay for that. Someare better worker than their men. They work at home and outside. Some are lazy,but I´m sure you will not marry a lazy spouse. Will you? Believe me Iknow both sides. I married one good worker but we saw life differently. Imarried her for wrong reasons and had 3 children, but that was an unequalyoke and our children were affected when I asked her to be divorced (I donot regret it! But it hurt both and the children). I didn´t knowhow to be the pitcher when she couldn´t be the catcher. She had liked tobe the manager (and the best player also) when I lacked some basic knowledge tobe in such home team. Have you played those games? Man needs to bethe provider. When women become the master of the house, when she pays thebills the other spouse owes, ladies feel they came to some kind of servitudeand certainly regret it and, if this comes to be so, try your best it be forfew days, not for a month. Believe me! I know these for me and for other´sfailures. Both can be providers, but the leading role should be in each man. Women resent notreceiving. Men are to be the pitchers and not the vessel of a catcher. I have a sisterand I know from her issues, and from the life of those who are -or were- myfriends. I write this for you. I know what I have learned from heartaches andwould like to spare you my divorce problems: Our natural leadership is giving,not receiving. Don´t you like to be blessed? When my dad losthis business (and money) he also lost my mother (and she was quite nice lookingto get somebody´s attention and favor). Let´s say the bond was not money, butshe went to work to give food her two boys and, when doing it, my dad did whatwas wrong: He wasted the money we needed in other girls... Do I need to saywhat came next? One thing is bettingto lose than being a loser. That is not a natural role of men or women. Moneyis needed to keep those you love and children need to be raised (women do knowit better). Will you love someone who has you to lose? I don´t! Always there areexceptions! (but the lesson of Eve is written on Gen 3:6). Sometimes it is toolate to open the eyes when consequences arrive (Gen. 4:1-2). Adam had a job (agardener) but allowed let his lover work for him... (Gen. 2:8, 15). We cannot belazy people. Roles are settled and established and, when man and woman marry, Ithink one has to be at home (Am I wrong?) We don´t live ina holy world. The 10 commandments help to warn us to be aware of and there aresome who covet spouses and steal away homes. Will you open the door to thieves? We do notrespect traffic lights when chances are seen. If you are a good men or woman,you know God is good, not you (not me). Real life is not a bed of roses, andsingles (or married) want to try the honey someone else paid. Modern life isso that, when I spent 3 months close to Pemon tribes (1988), I knew more fromthose who are not like city people: Pemons have different sex roles and eachwith their jobs. Are women to be Kings and men to be Queans? (I said thiscame from a joke). Life goals comearound. You build a house and not many are your home. Men are to be providersand women could be their helpers, in clear sex roles. Society seldom backed upmen who long to be home and this depends on the woman you cling to. See we donot live in a Christian world-wide community helping you (and me) to follow theten commandments, while some strongly oppose to keep those rules Exodusmentioned (Exo. 20:17, 15, 14). You will meetyour spouse at work, at the university... Sure out her home! What I´m sayinghere is you must build your own home, and I hope you find someone wholoves you to be her leader, just by giving (do not marry a lazy person). [FONT="]A.T.[/FONT]