Sexual Materialism

I couldn't stop myself from writing a thing about this: Today someone who grew with me asked me if I would woo someone he would have flirted first before being “engaged” with someone he doesn't like. The thing sounded me sour (as a teaspoon of salt).

Some time ago he told me he was about to be related to someone who is older than he is... The reason sounded me creepy and materialistic, as he himself lightly acknowledged that same day; but this time he invited me to flirt to a friend of his old girlfriend. I know there are Internet sites to match with your interests, your life goals -even for sex- but I believe in genuine love or some kind of real affections that are not linked to monetary reasons -sort of business- on this highly secularized search of the opposite sex. He met her somewhere in the streets. He doesn't use Internet but his friends...

He told me that person he mentioned is younger than the one he has. He said she is the owner of an apartment and an office in Ccs, and that she is not as rich as the one he now dates; because the one he flirts (in common consent) owns some real state in Spain, Dominican Republic, and here inVenezuela.

Is she aware of buying “friendship”?
Doesn't this sound like male prostitution?
Will you buy friendship (or love) with some wealth?

Five decades served me right to see money is as convenient as a loving person willing to be loyal; but love and friendship were not to be sold or begged. Did they?

Was I too blind too see it that way?

I know I sought, before being a Christian, nice looking ladies, illicit or free sex; but I thought people grew up to seek healthy characters, a loving personality, someone to cling someday because that person is willing to love and care genuinely. He is not Christian (yet), but I think he is close to a “convenient” state of prostitution... I don't know hers! (one pays, the other agrees to receive some money).

It is not a secret old men and women like young people. I know some like to lure them away, but I won't pay for love and much less for lusty sex.

Why do people insist on those faults?

I'm not blind! But I will run from that type of lurking ways. Yes! I'm shocked.

I believe in the genuine attraction of people. More than that, I believe God could lead me to the right person, and not following the convenience of my selfish heart or the emptiness of my pocket.

Wow! That's male prostitution. Absolutely!

I know he has paid for the favors he has received from young girls or ladies, but he seems to be doing the opposite thing now.

Is this happening in your culture too?

I know we don't live immersed in a Christian culture; but I don't think this is happening ALL over the world. I know we had wrong motives when being out of God's ways, but it's hard to believe this evil is widely spread, even inside the family or friends.

I thanked God that my children aren't misbehaving like that. I checked they don't like porn, although they're not dating girls with the exact commitment to be utterly married... Yes! I did wrong and much more than them; but lately I had the mindset that dating someone was to be married, someday.

Just letting these thoughts flow!

Do you have an idea to share here?

Hello,

Yes, sadly, so true. It seems materialism is the mark of most relationships today. Even marriage isn't void of materialism. People marry for money. People marry for lusty reasons. And unfortunately these trends continue because of this culture. You're right, some people don't have marriage in mind and they basically fulfill their fleshy needs outside of marriage. I think God is the only truth and if we seek God above all he can fulfill these needs. Although, I do think that God created woman and man to be together. However, I see a trend in today's culture and marriages are not as functional as they should be. Therefore, we can look to God who will never let us down.

God Bless….

Oh, I would like to add a thought. Even other relationships are marked with materialism. I'm Italian and in Italian families people are very generous. However, I have seen a trend. When people know you are unhappy with them they may offer money to retain your relationship with them. Even when our trust is so low and we don't feel we can trust people they use money or whatever they know we need at the time to manipulate us. Sometimes, the person being offered it will say no thanks, but the other person will keep insisting that you take it. Relationship materialism!

The same critique would apply to stay-at-home moms. As one goes back in time, the number of "prostitutes" goes up.

That interesting thing reminded me part of the Japanise culture, but some people cutting a finger to avoid being dead.

Perhaps it could be seen as manipulative but, some time ago, it was to compensate -materially- their lack to give an apology.

Thanks!

Since we're bemoaning the ills of society, here's my grump.

For whatever reason, it appears that being single is some kind of disease that is to be both pitied and causing everyone discomfort on my behalf. I can't tell you how many times I have been offered singles events, fix-ups and religious dating events, regardless of how relevant it was to my faith. I could never understand why being single made people uncomfortable until I realized that the reason they were uncomfortable was because I wasn't acting like a directionless and whiny girl wringing her hands in misery, hoping some big-hearted guy would charitably rescue me from a life without purpose.

And the world is no better. Apparently they are even more confused by me. Not so much by being single, but by the manner in which I live my life.

At one point, I was less selective (or perhaps, optimistic) and discovered that a number of men define who define themselves as Christian are really referring to something that said more about their parents (or the church they might have attended) than themselves. Now, it's just a 34397 point questionnaire with a complicated scoring system... just kidding.

I'm still amazed by how many are completely confounded by a happy, purpose-filled single Christian woman. Am I really one adjective away from being a side show for the circus?

I guess I still believe the Bible, which calls being single as a blessing.

Hi!

I don´t know about you and I respect your opinion.

By the way, I just saw you today in a couple of threads, and I have liked those replies I clicked "like" on.

Today I admired your strenght, some of your ways, but I spopped myself and thought: "Hey! You don´t knoe her" and the Internet serves to know part of our minds, our "sayings", but we know very little or NOTHING about real life, unless present and testing.

I respect your opinion, particularly if you enjoy your singleness, but I haven´t read YOUR Bible on where that it says: Being single is a blessing.

I just remember havin g read GOD made EVE for Adam, and extrapolated HE intended all women to marry men (I´m not GOD to tell).

You are right in that apreciation you said you grumped. We pretend to show the best of US while hiding or using some kind of makeup to tell tiny truths... I said I´m naked before God´s eyes, but I need to dress up to be socially accepted.

I don´t care being accepted or rejected, loved or hated (that is not my business now). Hapiness belongs to you and I am not the kind of man I will say: JESUS LOVES ME, because I see Jesus as a man, the way He is and the way He was on earth.

I can say, I love GOD, because I see HIM as the spiritual being I think HE IS, and here it is where i don´t consider singleness the way you said it is for you (no matter I were given the Bible to "show" me that was the intention of GOD: That is a man-made lie for those who want to be the ones they think they are)

I am not a chritian!

I haven´t made my 1st miracle (and I´m not concerned on who I´ll be seen or felt. I am the best peson I know to live or die.

The best I have!

hey, thank you for your kind words. i am sorry that i only saw this now, as i am still learning to navigate this place. in fact, i just made a mistake goofy enough that i started questioning all my previous entries to make sure i hadn't done something equally as silly (and that's how i found this).

you ask what i did? hahahahaaa.... i just posted a long missive about people misquoting ephesians 5:12 in the ever-so-lively "oral sex: yeah or neh" discussion in the "football today" thread. my face is still red!

anyway, as to "singlehood", i choose at this time in my life to appreciate what i consider the "gift of singlehood". does that mean i feel that way 100% of the time, honestly no. but i have been engaged twice, and have considered marriage at different times in my life, and i sincerely believe i wasn't prepared for what it required. at this time, i have grown quite a bit, and worked through many of the things that i felt stood in the way of my being "ready for marriage". subsequently, i am more open to whatever God would have for me, and i can honestly say, i will be equally grateful for either option, even though i believe both directions have blessings and difficulties.

i could write a very long bit about why i believe we should recognize the gift of singlehood, but another person has done the job already, and fairly well, so i will point you to that direction. please check this out:
The Gift of Singleness | Biblical Foundations

let me know what you think... monica

p.s. please explain what "i'm not a chritian" means? is it a typo? if so, please tell me why you *appear* to be a christian but don't identify yourself as one?

if it's not a typo, what's a "chritian"?

Yeah I know huh, as if being single is a "condition" that needs to be "fixed"
For some that's all they concentrate on

Excuse me, Mónica! Itś now that I see your post, in here.

I said I am not a Christian because, in Antioquia, those were called like that... I guess they were doing things I don't do (and miracles I don't know) but Iḿ too far from the Christian standard many have achieved by their intimate felowship with God and the Lord Jesus.

Thatś what I meant.

Hmm!
Regarding the link you posted: If you belive singless is a gift, I don't think it and don't feel it in that way. Iḿ hedonist, I'm happy I have something -deep in me- that regrets loosing part of what I consider human, human love and those longings.

If marriage was made for child bearing, I missed that point, because I just wanted one thing (pleasure) instead of that responsability. If eternity is designed to live a boring life, God and Jesus know the things I have thought and said.