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To anyone reading this, i need some prayer on studying. I am learning about computers and my main study is Cyber Security. I am struggling with adequate study time, due to i don't know how to manage time. On top of that i struggle daily with anxiety and depression so if possible i could use prayers on that too. It is all due to the circumstances my family has come through. I'll condense it so no one knows who i really am due to safety issues i have lost my identity, family and friends. I know more people out there have been through what my family has been but they know you cant reveal to much due to safety.
Long story short, got mixed up with the wrong crowd and wrong guy. I'm not the type guys usually " go after". I am a huge tomboy, hike and camp a lot and love to rough house and a christian metal head. So when a cute man flirted with me i fell for him. Not love but wanted to not be alone. I soon got pregnant, i was not following Jesus at the time. Lots of drugs and partying. I now have a small child. This cute man got real abusive after we found out there was a baby in the mix. I ran to another state and he had me followed on top of blowing up my phone 24hrs a day. This other man that followed me broke into the house and would climb the stairs to where i slept and would watch me. I thought it was a demon so i prayed profusely. he was caught and got charged with only eavesdropping because he knew my name.
Then ran to a different state was safe for a few years, got mixed with the wrong crowd again. Dated a guy for over a year. We broke up due to the first guy finding me and trying to take my child. After about 3 months my child told me what happened when i was at work. This man had physically and sexually abused me and my child. Went through a few shelters and states with numerous bad circumstances. Now we are safe but i fight the urge to move / run again. My family and friends accused me of lying about everything and refused to help all save one family member.
We now live on the other side of where we are from and have gone through quite a few legal actions to no avail except one. Where i lost my identity and cannot have contact with anyone from my past and cannot reveal to much to my future. Thank the LORD that when i have these people dont remember me or what i said. The only exception is the people in my home group from church that laid hands on me and my family that is left and our pastors. I am still to scared to tell all. I dont want to be the one person people pity because of my trouble.
I also know that the i and my family cannot heal unless through God and His Son and the Holy spirit. I know his power yet i still doubt and struggle. He has saved us numerous times and continues. We have moved to very far places on very little money yet He has always provided, things that we need and want. I have no reason to doubt our Creator or to deny him. Friends my family and i are in need of some heavy prayers. We are now being forced to heal when i want to run from it and i am struggling to my very core and to every depth of my person.
I find it hard to study, connect with people, go outside, to shop for things i need and i struggle with sleeping too. i have night mares of men coming in through the windows and doors to kidnap my child or to hurt all who lives in this home. Nightmares of having to run again and being found out and barely escaping. My child suffers the same some nights. So please friends if you run across this, please pray for us? We need help and cannot reach out for fear of running again. And if you know of anyone else that is in a similar situation pray for them too. There is a community of lost. broken and scared men and women that need you.
Long story short, got mixed up with the wrong crowd and wrong guy. I'm not the type guys usually " go after". I am a huge tomboy, hike and camp a lot and love to rough house and a christian metal head. So when a cute man flirted with me i fell for him. Not love but wanted to not be alone. I soon got pregnant, i was not following Jesus at the time. Lots of drugs and partying. I now have a small child. This cute man got real abusive after we found out there was a baby in the mix. I ran to another state and he had me followed on top of blowing up my phone 24hrs a day. This other man that followed me broke into the house and would climb the stairs to where i slept and would watch me. I thought it was a demon so i prayed profusely. he was caught and got charged with only eavesdropping because he knew my name.
Then ran to a different state was safe for a few years, got mixed with the wrong crowd again. Dated a guy for over a year. We broke up due to the first guy finding me and trying to take my child. After about 3 months my child told me what happened when i was at work. This man had physically and sexually abused me and my child. Went through a few shelters and states with numerous bad circumstances. Now we are safe but i fight the urge to move / run again. My family and friends accused me of lying about everything and refused to help all save one family member.
We now live on the other side of where we are from and have gone through quite a few legal actions to no avail except one. Where i lost my identity and cannot have contact with anyone from my past and cannot reveal to much to my future. Thank the LORD that when i have these people dont remember me or what i said. The only exception is the people in my home group from church that laid hands on me and my family that is left and our pastors. I am still to scared to tell all. I dont want to be the one person people pity because of my trouble.
I also know that the i and my family cannot heal unless through God and His Son and the Holy spirit. I know his power yet i still doubt and struggle. He has saved us numerous times and continues. We have moved to very far places on very little money yet He has always provided, things that we need and want. I have no reason to doubt our Creator or to deny him. Friends my family and i are in need of some heavy prayers. We are now being forced to heal when i want to run from it and i am struggling to my very core and to every depth of my person.
I find it hard to study, connect with people, go outside, to shop for things i need and i struggle with sleeping too. i have night mares of men coming in through the windows and doors to kidnap my child or to hurt all who lives in this home. Nightmares of having to run again and being found out and barely escaping. My child suffers the same some nights. So please friends if you run across this, please pray for us? We need help and cannot reach out for fear of running again. And if you know of anyone else that is in a similar situation pray for them too. There is a community of lost. broken and scared men and women that need you.
