To Raise a Child

So, when you have a childhood of abuse and neglect, it is difficult to raise children. For one, the abuse and neglect is kind of like ingrained, so it is impulsive response to the kids behavior and needs. This can be stopped if recognized, but then what I have seen is the other end of the continuum; enabling and passivity. I've seen this in myself.

How to balance the roles of nurturer and disciplinarian is a task that is overwhelming, especially when one is attempting the job independently (as I am).

I am a system thinker. Therefor; I believe in the value of support be it, familial or communal. Like the African proverb: It takes a village to raise a child, indicates.

If the family system is dysfunctional to the point that support is not made available by need of boundaries or refusal of family members, some are able to find the support in their community. If the community is dysfunctional and any involvement creates drama which adds to the stressors already present, then clearly it is not an option.

What then is left? The church.

But what is one to do if the church ignores the needs of "the widows and the orphans?"
I view my situation akin to the status of widow with orphans. Although the fathers of my children are all alive, they might as well not be in terms of their ability to parent or assist in the parenting process of their children.

So, all I have left to turn to is my Father (God). I suppose it could be worse.

The most amazing things happen when all you have is God. you are in a great position spiritually, though your situation is difficult and only you truly know the depth of your frustrations and burdens, your loneliness in this situation. sometimes, we find ourselves in a situation that is difficult and until we find that God is all we have, things dont change, but when you come to the knowledge that He really is all we have, He moves powerfully. beginning in us where true change happens. Im ashamed about the "church" who has no real love, I dont know you, but am compelled to offer my friendship and Prayer for your situation.. God truly is there with you and He will answer, hold on

The more of your commentary I read, the more I like having you here, Bekah.

There are studies that reflect that community is good for the individual. They're liable to drop the ball/fail the individual, but are otherwise widely affirmed as a necessity for growth, even happiness.

All the best to you and your kiddos, Bekah. That's a lot of food for one person to chew.

Yes,We must persevere at all cost,JESUS did why not us.Seek out help by developing GODLY relationships beyond your comfort/uncomfortable zone! Keep bringing those children and herself to your home church and other churches and cry out until you are listened too! Do'nt give up your on the verge of a miracle! Truth of HIM raising an 7 / 12 year youngs.Pray to connect with that inner child of yours and heal with and through your children. Ride bikes,bake cookies,whach their favorite movie,take walkes with them,ask their oppion, thake the rist to be vulner-able! That you all know you/their in need more of JESUS and JESUS persons in your life.

Awe. sniff. You guys are da best.

Thanks for sharing Bekah. I have found Jesus to be my best friend and I believe he wants us all to himself, he is Jealous of us. I some times walk down a street full of people and realize that im alone , but im not really alone God is walking with me and he wants me to reach out to people to tell them about him and his glorious Gospel.
It could be worse you could be in this situation and not know God.
I cant imagine what its like raising 5 kids on your own that must be hard work, but not impossible with God. Keep going step by step and dont give up. Your kids must love you very much. If you ever need prayer dont hesitate to send a private message to me , we all need prayer support. God bless you In Jesus Name Amen.