What can I do to get back up?

Hi everyone, I was raised in a christian home and got baptized, but I then started drinking and doing other things.. I went to my pastor and confessed a couple months ago but its so hard for me to stay hot for the lord. I still need to ask people for forgiveness and I seemed on the right path, but im noticing that im slowly turning away from God once more.. I did something I was ashamed of yesterday and ive been feeling sick about and Im just really unsure what to do. I know I need to ask forgiveness, but i feel so far away. I just feel detached, but my heart aches all the time and Im never truly happy.

God always has the doors of forgiveness open to anyone and everyone. If you go to Jesus and truly surrender everything you are, and everything you did, He will give you a heart to change, a heart that seeks after what's good, and hates what's evil; you will be forgiven of everything. But it starts on your knees, asking Him to forgive you and to give up everything you are to Him knowing He knows best. Truly, who knows what's best in your life other than the One who created you? There is none besides Him. He loves you very much.

Podo - you say that you need to ask for forgiveness - you also need to forgive... YOURSELF! If you feel yourself pulling away from God, start talking to Him. Tell Him how you feel, the things that have happened, etc. Ask Him to help you through, to pull you out of the pit are in, and to strengthen you for what's ahead. I find the best time to talk to God is when I'm lying in bed at night time - I've got nothing to distract me, and it's just me and God. Find a time or a place where you have no distractions. A few years ago, my 'place' was in the bathroom. Of a morning, I'd get out of the shower, wrap a towel around myself, and sit in the bathroom and talk to God, and sing, and just be in His presence. It was a time in my life when everything seemed to go wrong all at the same time, and the only person I could lean on was God.
Just remember - nothing you have done can cause God to turn His back on you, and nothing can make Him love you less. Be encouraged that you are not alone. All the best!

Hi podo
I can relate to the heartache and hopeless despair that you might feel. I've been there too. I do not even know if I am totally over it, for sure the Satan will keep on attacking me, but I trust in the Lord's deliverance. I've been much encouraged reading the Bible today. I've read Psalm 107. There is a list of cases in which people got into trouble because of their own iniquity, foolishness, transgressions and when they have observed that they got into a desperate case, when they could not lean on anyone or anything else, they just shouted out to the Lord for help. He delivered them. In all the cases. ALL THE CASES. It felt so good for me to read that. Why would I question His loving kindness? Reading from other places too, I even got encouraged regarding my assurance of salvation. I've been struggling with doubts about that for years. The encouragement of fellow people does help, but what I needed was to hear from God personally how He feels about me. I'd encourage you to read the Scriptures. Not like you could earn His grace by human efforts (you can only get that for free), but trying to seek Him, letting Him talk to you, whatever He has to say. You might get rebukes, or feel condemnation first, but do not get discouraged!

“My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord,
Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him;
For whom the Lord loves He chastens,
And scourges every son whom He receives.”

Grab the promises!

"For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved."

"Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die, people of Israel? For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live!"

today I've read and embraced a dear declaration of Him:
"But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name;
You are Mine."

"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.
...
Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!"

Go, sort this out with God! He bids all of us to go to Him.

(At the same time you might find it useful to join a biblical church community, if you haven't done that already)