17 yr old daughter dating wrong kind of guys

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ttbajack

Guest
#21
#21
Nimbus3852 I see where you are coming from too & appreciate your imput. Thanks.
 
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nimbus3852

Guest
#22
#22
Best wishes!
 
chosenone

chosenone

Member
#23
Sep 17, 2013
60
0
6
#23
I have to agree with the online dating. Never know what kind of people are on there. I am not bashing online dating places, there are some geninue ones out there, but for me personally, I would not let my daughters go on there, when they get to be of that age. Thank-god they are still young
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#24
#24
zaoman32 said:
You talk a lot about your daughter's choices but are neglecting any mention of how your or her fathers role as a parent has been. Are you and her dad together? Has she witnessed similar behavior in you or her dad? Has she witnessed this guys behavior in her dad, or you dating guys and behaving in a similar fashion?

Kids know and learn from what they see and experience. Please know that I do not condemn you if you answer yes to any of the questions I asked. I'm divorced, I have three kids, and I KNOW my ex has a horrid dating history, even after we divorced, so I don't expect my kids to make the best dating choices. That's where I'm going to need to step up as a responsible parent and tell them, no, this isn't going to fly. They will break up with that person. If they don't, and I find out about it, they will not be on facebook anymore. If they're sneaking out, or lying about where they're going, they can kiss any freedom they have goodbye for a while. They'll probably hate me, but that relationship will not happen, and eventually they'll thank me.
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I think it's usually 75/25. That is to say, 75 percent of the time children act out because of the parents, and the other 25 percent of the time, they do it because they are being rebellious.

They either act out because parents were too permissive (so the children never learned ground rules), or because the parents were too authoritative (in which case this is them rebelling against never having had any freedom). Seeing as this young lady is allowed to date at all at 17, it's not the overly authoritative route.


ttbajack said:
My husband & I have been married for 21 years & have a good relationship. Her dad nor I act out in this pattern. We are christians & do not condone any of this behavior. I just want to be very careful about how we handle the situation. I DO NOT want her to retaliate & end up pushing her closer to him. I do appreciate yor advice!
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See, I don't think this one is your fault in this case. Sometimes, teenagers just like to rebel.

You are right, your daughter could grow closer to this man if you are too hard on her.


You mentioned this man is a sex offender. Is he even allowed to be hanging out with minors in your jurisdiction? You could point out to your daughter he is breaking the law just being with her.
 
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ttbajack

Guest
#25
#25
Thanks Servant Strike for your insight. It has been helpful.
 
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