A friend in need

[TheAristocat]

sorry if i jumped in to conclusion sir and i am real sorry that something like happent to you ! yes , situtions can be dif true , but you know violence is not an option on any case .... if person does not understand words and continue to act the way that person used then .... the only what you can take out of it ... is to say bye bye ....

Yes, you are right. Violence is not an option. And I understand your sentiment concerning abusive or unprogressive relationships. I would like to think that someone can take a break from a relationship through other means than divorce though. There is the option of temporary separation which may end in divorce, but is still better I think. Then there is the option of getting a restraining order against your spouse if domestic violence is an issue. Although if communication and humility hasn't been tried yet it'd be high-time to try it in this relationship.

 

[Grateful2Be4Given]

I agree 100% with Jimsun. Also it would be good to pray for the husband too, it sounds like he needs the good Lord to work miracles in his life! Prayers and blessings to you, your friend and her family.

 

[Mikebass]

Sometimes we know what's precious for us when we lost it. I think, the first thing to do is take her and her children to a safe place to keep out them from his abusive action. and leave the man alone. To let the man reflect about what he had done. I hope by the time he realize that he can lose her, and he need her and promise to treat her better.

This is just my advice.. I'll keep praying for her.. Hope this matter will be solve in His way not our way..
Keep believe in Him .. Jeremiah 29:11

 

[luckoftheirish]

Ok... I think the issue deserving precedence here is your friend and her daughters' safety. Keep in mind that beginning divorce proceedings will NOT guarantee an end to domestic abuse. In fact, there is a good chance that a man with some obvious issues is going to go ballistic when he finds out the person he has been beating into submission would try to divorce him. For safety's sake, I, personally don't think she should be in any close proximity should she choose the divorce option.


I also think your friend needs to get away from the abusive situation immediately. Being true to marriage vows does not mean enduring any kind of abuse, nor does God expect us to. Your friend needs to remember that she is entitled to basic human rights Biblically and legally. Maybe the abuse has escalated beyond physical into the emotional and verbal, and your friend's self-esteem has plummeted to the point that she doesn't believe that about herself. But, surely, she believes it for her daughters.


You note that your friend has been ''a victim of a poor upbringing.'' Staying in an abusive situation also makes her daughters victims of the same. She has a moral and legal obligation to keep her children safe. Her first step, I believe, is to value herself and her children enough to get out. She won't be the first woman to find herself a single mother with no money.


Now, perhaps what your friend needs rather than advice are options. Support/ advocacy groups and women's shelters are available to provide safe lodging. They can also help with employment, transitional housing, and also legal services. I note that your location is UK, but the following websites may still be helpful. She probably shouldn't access them from a home computer or anything that her husband could monitor. It's also important that you as her friend educate yourself, and realize that in helping your friend her husband may aslo retaliate against you. Be safe! She is not powerless, the situation is not hopeless, and with God you will overcome.

National Domestic Violence Hotline www.thehotline.org
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence www.ncadv.org

 

[ElderChild]

what is wrong with men in these days?

One but needs to understand the garden experience to know what is wrong with men.......

And Truth testifies that "a woman is the strongest thing in the world", however "stronger than a woman is The Truth"!

Yet, the multitudes of men and women rejected and yet reject The Truth, so it was that Isaiah prophesied in his time that "Women ruled over men, and children were their oppressors"!

Sadly, today such has been legislated and made law as dis-order rules midst this wicked world and it's systems of religion ;-(

Come Out of her, MY people!"

Father Help! and HE does

So HOPE IS!

For TRUTH IS!

 

[loveme1]

There are safe houses people can go to, and there is a support network out there.
But the bottom line is that you would need to divorce your abusing partner....

Men can also be victims of abuse, it is sad when grown people have to resort to violence.
I think society is bringing out the worst in people, pressure and stress.

I actually know many people who have dealt with abuse in their relationship, youngsters are doing it to each other.

Do not stand for abuse, pray and seek the Most High Yahweh God, he is the only refuge.

Divorce is final, and the Bible does deal with divorce..........

If you have to leave a violent partner, but he will not give you a divorce, you must not go with another man.

Look out for your friends, and strangers, love and offer help.

The smallest thing can make a big difference.

 

[ElderChild]

Simply, no government, no law, no contract, no religion, no man, no woman, there is nothing that can join a man and woman together as One in Holy Matrimony except The Holy, Set Apart, Spirit that is of The ONE and ONLY TRUE GOD, Father of ALL.

So it is that today that "women rule over men, and children are their oppressors" just as Isaiah prophesied.......

Father Help! and HE does.......