About to screw my family up :(

[jb800m]

sure sounds like you need some big time alone time with the heavenly father.... it is nice to get your ego stroked at times but as a GOdly man you are required to show God and what you are doing is giving up and giving in... our society is seemingly great at this... got an issue move on.. course what i feel you should do is seen thru my eyes... you need to do what you Feel the father in heaven is leading you to do... the fact you made this comment shows you know right from wrong.. but dont think that ppl here are going to say it is ok.. even if they did.. it would not be premission..

common sense would say completely exhaust what the issues between you and your WIfe.. ( i hope you wil get a lot of nights of dirty knees or face plants before GOd) yes there are things unresolvable in this word, but first - GOd is a way maker a resolver of issues that seem no solution too.. two - man loves to put labels on things and use the label as the reason to give up...Just think where the world would be if JEsus gave up on his way to the cross? good wives submit and good husbands died for their wives ( like Jesus did for our gaining of life) , you have seperated for a very short time.. when i went thru this time first thing i needed to do was stop the blame game... I had to understand what i did wrong and needed to deal with. those things were not change for my wife, but cause the father was asking for it.. SO often in times like this we drown out the voice of GOd with a list of the things that our spouse needs to change.... Know what happens when you do that to God? IF you do listen he smiles back and hands you the list of the things you need to change.. why? cause you are talking to him not your spouse!!! and when you are doing this you really arent praying for the spouse to change you are just whining about why it wasnt you fault things arent going well!!!... so i suggest you take some alone time and get alone with the Creator.. and remember this " when you are praying for the direction of GOd in your life or others.. do you patiently wait on his voice or are you too busy telling the creator what he needs to do to fix the situation?" God does know the answer, and for the most part from this old whale,, he is waiting to share that advice to us..
blessigns

 

[hootowl]

Hi

I am not a Christian but am going to write to you anyway.
Marriage is a contract. If the marriage is so bad that you are hurting each other physically and mentally there is no other way out then you are allowed to break it I am saying this from a moral point of view.

But marriage is not a do it now thing and if you have to make sacrifices then you can get up and go. There is a consequence to every action so think very carefully you do not mention children if you have them then these have to be considered too.

You have a responsibility as you both brought them into the world.

Talk to your wife, You say you still love each other. Talk things over you both have to work very hard at this.

This other person you are talking about does not care, if she did she would be thinking about what is best for you and what is best for you right now is not sleeping with somebody else while you are in a mental state of indecision.

Lastly you are married and have made a vow a promise unless you both agreed on an open marriage which is a different story.

You have an obligation to your wife and yourself to make sure you are both divorced and all ends have been tied.
But only after you both have done everything you possibly can to make things work.

Think hard before you commit an act that could end up in disaster for all concerned. Remember what you sow you reap

Hoot Owl

 

[ServantStrike]

Please read though this entire post as although it is short, it may anger you, but I say it in love and not out of malice. Please feel free to yell at me or whatever else you feel necessary to vent your frustrations and get you back on track with Christ. Send me a PM if you need to as well, whatever you need. The actions you take regarding this potential affair will literally be the difference between whether the rubber finally meets the road as you drive through life, or whether you take a spill and your head hits the pavement. Life and death, your life hangs in the balance here.

I'm not married, so I can't really comment as deeply as others can, but I have one question to ask. How long have you been fantasizing about this other woman? And I guess a follow up question would be what could you possibly gain by torpedoing your family, do you think this other woman would truly respect you for that behaviour?

The biblical standard is incredibly high.
Matthew 5:28
but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Furthermore, marriage is a covenant not to be broken except due to reasons of adultery (and even then the bible hints that you should still try and work it out)! You gave up your right to even think about dating someone else the moment you got married. Just, kill those thoughts now.

In exchange for all the hopes and dreams that came from marriage, you gave up your hopes of being with anyone else unless there was a death or an affair. And you know what, that was beautiful whether you know it or not, as it means you found someone who was felt that way about you too. You have no idea what some of us would give for that which you now take for granted.

Neither you, nor I, nor any man or woman has ever had or ever will have the right to think sexually about another human being other than his or her spouse. Those in a relationship need to be especially careful that they do not even allow the beginnings of attraction to sprout, or they will ensnare, as they have done to you.

You need to distance yourself from this other woman you are attracted to, and you need to start conditioning your brain not to respond to the harmful stimulus that is lust. You would be surprised how much clarity you'll get if you do this, and with clarity comes the ability to think about this and work out what's really causing all of this trouble.

 

[Lucy68]

Our marriage relationship is second only to our relationship with Christ. It's interesting that Jesus spoke of the relationship with Him like a marriage relationship. He is the husband and the church is His wife. This is a description of an INTIMATE relationship...a comparison that we would never use if He hadn't used it first.

The covenant we make with a spouse is ultimately going to reflect our covenant with Christ. If we betray our spouse, we are betraying Him. Wow, that's got some serious consequences with it.

Marriage is hard. Two people living as one is next to impossible unless you have Christ in the center. Stop whatever you're doing and thinking that is going to destroy your marriage. For your own sake as well as your family's. Pick up your bible and IMMERSE yourself in it. The Holy Spirit WILL give you the strength and direction you desperately need. Because Satan is knocking at your door and you've got your hand on the doorknob.

Find a good Christian counselor. An objective third party can really help you and your wife open up the communication lines. He or she can help you get rid of resentments and grievances that are holding you back from a wonderful relationship. When we get rid of selfishness and resentments, the Holy Spirit can work in our lives.

Find a church that you and your wife enjoy attending TOGETHER. Hearing the Word of God taught in a group can be really motivating and strengthens us against Satan's attacks.

God gave us this very special relationship so that we can practice what He's teaching us....essentially the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Gal 5:22-23). We really don't learn Christian teachings until we have to put them into practice. It's an act of our will, which we battle against all the time. CHOOSE to do what is good and right....for God, for yourself, and for your spouse.

I think you already know this because of how you titled you post . I admire you for seeking strength when you are weak by yourself. All Christians need to do this very thing. Not even the strongest Christians can go it alone all the time. We do need each others strength and encouragement and especially the HUMILITY to ask for it. Good for you. May the Lord strengthen you today and every day for the battle that is always before us....Praying for His help in your marriage and in all of your relationships. Avoid what you are weak in....like the other woman.