Advice on letting go of hatred

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celticweb

Guest
#1
Hello.. I am wondering if another Christian can shed some light on how to "let go" of hatred. I have been carrying around this anchor and am sick of it. I pray & pray & pray, but only bad emotions & memories arise whenever I try & confront it. I KNOW God ONLY wants the best for us, so feel like this issue is the cause of ALL my problems....
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
Well, i doubt its the cause of 'all' of your problems, but i am sure it is a major burden in your life. I think the first step is to learn to control your thoughts.. as the bible puts it 'take all thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ'. Oftentimes anger, hatred and bitterness grow because we allow our thoughts that make us feel this way to run wild. As a result, it fuels and feeds our feelings, making things worse. So learn to spot, then stop the thoughts that feed your hate. Next, find some scriptures that pertain to your feelings, scriptures about hate, or even love. So when you spot, and stop the bad thoughts, start repeating these scriptures to yourself. Get a few and repeat them all over and over until you get past the feelings. This not only stops you from fueling the hatred by letting your thoughts go unchecked, it also helps to replace those bad thoughts with good things, with scripture. And scripture is what cleans out our cluttered brains and renews our minds and spirits.
Also, deal with the source of the hatred, don't try to shove feelings aside and pretend they don't exist, instead deal with them head on, not by letting your thoughts run wild, but by using a controlled, logical thought process to work through the issues. Another great way to work things out is writing. I used to deal with a lot of anger and bitterness and i would write to vent.
Exercise is another good way to burn off negative feelings, something cardio is ideal. Maybe even a punching bag. Better to hit a bag than a person. :)
 
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nonicknametouse

Guest
#3
Hi I am in agreement with what Ugly wrote. It is right on. The enemy gets in your head and will make a small thought turn into a bigger and worse thought. Stop it immediatly. I have been healed of anger and frustration many years ago and the heaviness it caused lifted off of me that I truely felt lighter and relieved. It was an awesome time in my life. Just pray and let the Lord know you are willing to do what it takes to change your heart in this area of your life and He will. I believe in God's perfect timing. To us it may seem too long, but to God He know what we need when we need it. Now when I think back on my past I praise the Lord for it , because I may not of grown to the women God wanted me too. Struggles make us strong.
 
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danschance

Guest
#4
Hello.. I am wondering if another Christian can shed some light on how to "let go" of hatred. I have been carrying around this anchor and am sick of it. I pray & pray & pray, but only bad emotions & memories arise whenever I try & confront it. I KNOW God ONLY wants the best for us, so feel like this issue is the cause of ALL my problems....

May I ask how you have dealt with this in the past and what sort of thing you have prayed about it?
 
H

hattiebod

Guest
#5
Hello.. I am wondering if another Christian can shed some light on how to "let go" of hatred. I have been carrying around this anchor and am sick of it. I pray & pray & pray, but only bad emotions & memories arise whenever I try & confront it. I KNOW God ONLY wants the best for us, so feel like this issue is the cause of ALL my problems....
I believe when we feel this way, it's root is in unforgiveness. As long as we carry unforgiveness around, it eats away, it destroys and damages. I held 'hatred' in my heart, I was very hurt by some Christian friends. I was self-righteous though & it was only by asking God for peace that He showed me this, then I was able to pray for the ability to forgive, pray for my 'x-friends' and slowly, the hatred, the un-forgiveness slowly melted away as the reality of being in a saving relationship with Christ too took over . When we take hold of what He did for us...then forgiveness is not such a big deal! And then, we have peace and restoration. My relationships were restored, against all odds! my love for Christ deepened and my part in it all highlighted, accepted and repented of. Good result! Draw close to God in a repentant and willing manner, when we are filled with the Holy Spirit, it's harder to squeeze any hatred in! God does want the best for us BUT, we need to in all ways be obedient and acknowledge Him. God Bless you in His name as you seek His will over this. :) <><
 
D

danschance

Guest
#6
I believe when we feel this way, it's root is in unforgiveness. As long as we carry unforgiveness around, it eats away, it destroys and damages. I held 'hatred' in my heart, I was very hurt by some Christian friends. I was self-righteous though & it was only by asking God for peace that He showed me this, then I was able to pray for the ability to forgive, pray for my 'x-friends' and slowly, the hatred, the un-forgiveness slowly melted away as the reality of being in a saving relationship with Christ too took over . When we take hold of what He did for us...then forgiveness is not such a big deal! And then, we have peace and restoration. My relationships were restored, against all odds! my love for Christ deepened and my part in it all highlighted, accepted and repented of. Good result! Draw close to God in a repentant and willing manner, when we are filled with the Holy Spirit, it's harder to squeeze any hatred in! God does want the best for us BUT, we need to in all ways be obedient and acknowledge Him. God Bless you in His name as you seek His will over this. :) <><

Excellent advice above.

Forgiveness for us as Christians is not an option. It is a command and if we choose to not forgive others, the bible is clear. We simply will not be forgiven of our sins. All of us humans stuck on planet Earth have had times when we have been hurt, harmed or been treated unjustly. How we deal with that is the important thing.

I had some issues with a neighbor. He and his wife lied and did things behind our backs to do us wrong. Naturally I was angry. I found myself saying the same old prayer over and over:

"Lord Jesus, I forgive them for what they did to me. I give them over to You for You to deal with them as You see fit. I retain nothing on them or over them and I completely release them to You. I hold nothing against them and ask that You would even save them. I repent, renounce and ask for forgiveness for bitterness, unforgiveness, anger, rage, murder, resentment, retaliation and revenge.If it be Your will, in Jesus name."

Yet I had times where I felt a sudden surge in my anger about them. Each time I would pray the same sort of thing and the cycle continued, over and over. Then one day I realized that my surge in anger was demonic. So I prayed and laid down my case before God in prayer. Then it never happened again after that. It's been a few years since my neighbor did me wrong but now God has reversed everything they did and all is back to normal.

I have no clue exactly what you are going thru but perhaps you could pray the same prayer I did and see if it helps.
 
P

Powemm

Guest
#7
Hello.. I am wondering if another Christian can shed some light on how to "let go" of hatred. I have been carrying around this anchor and am sick of it. I pray & pray & pray, but only bad emotions & memories arise whenever I try & confront it. I KNOW God ONLY wants the best for us, so feel like this issue is the cause of ALL my problems....
Hi Celtic
Yes , I can only share because of
My experience with it for a
Very long time of struggling with it and what God has done with it ...
First off I'd like to say I'm sorry your hurting because when I
Was in that place I needed someone to hear I was angry because I was hurting.. I wasnt the type to cry about it .. that was
Part of my problem .. I didn't cry out to God in the emotional state of
My pain .. " it's all about our relationship with Him" he wants the first of everything !
First mistake i
Made was I didn't hand God My emotions about any of it so he was like " okay Michelle, since you
Dont want to share with me ill let you try to
Handle and manage your emotions .. of you think you are bigger than me go right ahead , handle it.. And he let me to a point I about collapsed under the weight of it . Depression , among other things .. Second mistakeni
Made Was I didn't ask God for help , so again He let Me try to carry the weight of it .. ( ya I thought I was tough enough HA!)
so finally after many relationsships crashed and burned and I reached a place
Of total brokeness over it .. I cried out to God.. I
Mean I poured out every raw angry emotion about it .. I wasn't mad at god , I just didn't understand why he would allow certain things to happen .. I was a kid! Well later I discovered God means it when He says "He is jealous for us"
Now this is how god ( in my personal relationship with Him) revealed my emotions and His part in Helping me manage them ..
I'm not saying this is how everyone manages with God nor am I saying this is how he willa age then with you.. As he speaks to us all differently ... But He revealed it to me through a car alarm system ..,
Go figure ! Lol

so, he showed me that he put emotions in me to "first" do what ? Relate to Him..
He showed menthe built a perfect alarm system in me to alert me when I am straying off from this part of my relationship with Him ...
Here is the alarm system manual he gave me

it has to do with my belief system

I was buying some lies that were making one of
My alarms blare so loud (hatred and anger) that people in other continents could have heard it..

Anger - an alarm that goes off when we are buying into, or have bought "a lie"
That we do not have to release gods mercy or forgiveness ..
The "truth " is .. God had released his
Mercy and forgiveness to us .. He tells us to go and do likewise .
Also he asked mea very serious question ..
Michelle? Have you forgotten ALL I have forgiven you for ?

I was like "WHAT??". but I was a
Kid . Well he then began revealing there were some
Other lies I was buying into

Fear- also a friend to anger ... Was another alarm blaring in my alarm system ..
How you ask? Fear is a result of buying into or having bought the lie that something or someone is in more control than God is
The truth is no thing and no one is
In more control than god is ...
Well I was giving tjos hatred more control than gods forgiveness and mercy ..
So God was right I had bought the lie ...

Today I am
Completely rid of all hatred and anger , I Have even forgiven those who wronged me...

I am praying for your release of this and he brings you to a place of peace with it ..
In Christ
Michelle
 
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celticweb

Guest
#8
Testing....
 
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celticweb

Guest
#9
OK, sorry all who took the time to reply to my post: IE was locking-up each and every time I tried to reply to this thread... so I installed firefox and the issue seems to be solved! Praise God, this was very, very frustrating...lol
 
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celticweb

Guest
#10
My anger started when I was 8, my father gave me my first of many black eyes... before I knew it, I was watching my mother die of cancer when I was 10.... more black eyes and stitches before I ran away and stayed w/friends until i was old enough to join the military... After Desert Storm, I tried my hand @ being a civilian to no avail, reinlisted, and before I shipped out, old "partying" friends from my youth asked me to attend sunday service... GOD Touched my heart, I wept uncontrollably and accepted Jesus as my savior... After I shipped out, I back-slid and never looked-back... anger and hostility reigned... I hated who I was and slipped into a self-destructive spiral that ended my military career. Drugs, sex, alcohol and violence took control and I ended up in prison. After 3 years of living in a box, I made a conscience decision to NOT REPEAT my past mistakes and read scripture every chance I got. This is only scratching the surface of the issues I have dealt with in my life... somehow I know that the Lord has a PLAN.... my only desire is to have him PROUD of WHO I AM. I still have nightmares, memories of very bad things that were cruel to experience, but I know that seeking HIM, working w/other BELIEVERS will help me to overcome this "baggage" that I need to lose. In short, I wish to thank everyone who has responded, I dont feel so alone in this... God bless you all
 
Feb 11, 2012
1,358
8
0
#11
Hello.. I am wondering if another Christian can shed some light on how to "let go" of hatred. I have been carrying around this anchor and am sick of it. I pray & pray & pray, but only bad emotions & memories arise whenever I try & confront it. I KNOW God ONLY wants the best for us, so feel like this issue is the cause of ALL my problems....
Fear God and obey His commands, which is repent, crucify your flesh with Christ, and walk the narrow road as commanded!

Jas 4:7 Therefore submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Jas 4:8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners; and purify your hearts, double-minded ones.
Jas 4:9 Be afflicted, and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to heaviness.
Jas 4:10 Be humbled before the Lord, and He will lift you up.

WHAT MIND ARE YOU IN?

Rom 8:6 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace
Rom 8:7 because the carnal mind is enmity against God, for it is not subject to the Law of God, neither indeed can it be.
The more I seek the truth and compare what is being taught today by the mainstream ministries and pastors, I have come to the conclusion that those who oppose sound doctrine, and argue in favor of sin are not in their spiritual mind!
A carnal mind is way more than the vile sinners who live each and every day fulfilling the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye and the pride of life.
A carnal mind can also be the happy go lucky church goer, who has come into the kingdom through the repeat after me crowd! The have been duped into the great lie that promises them liberty, while they are still in bondage to many sins to various degrees!
They may not be like Ted Bundy, or Adolph Hitler, but when it comes to truth, and standing firm on it they will cleverly use and twist scriptures to make their plea for truth, which in reality is a plea to continue in sin and disobedience but still be saved and secure.
So when the truth is given to the lost masses out in la la land, they will either come with a spiritual mind yield to the spirit of truth, and seek the truth as laid out in scripture, they will diligently dig deep in the word, and not relent until the spirit fills their once carnal mind with spiritual truth that wells up in their heart and soul!
But many will stay in their carnal mindset, bent on being right at all cost! They argue, accuse, lie, and twist their way into the hearts and minds of the simple, which are hungry for truth, but open to any wind of doctrine that comes down the line.
The carnal mind is an enemy of God!
G2189
ἔχθρα
echthra
ekh'-thrah
Hostility; by implication a reason for opposition: - enmity, hatred.

They refuse to see the error of the system, where original sin, substitution, followed of OSAS, is the norm, and anyone who comes against these false pagan and man-made teaching’s is called out as a heretic, evil, selfish, and self-righteous! Then they get upset when you tell them they must repent, stop sinning as commanded, and give ample scriptural proof their beloved saved IN sin message isn’t in the word of God!

Again the carnal mind is polluted with the thing of the world, they have no desire to guard their heart from the many lies and deceptions lurking around every corner, nor tune out to the world and its vain attractions and entertainments!

The carnal mind is easy to spot, they come at you as a loving, peaceful lamb, but when you confront them with the truth, they soon turn into an angry wolf, seeking to devour anybody who encourages them to dig deep, do not be deceived, hold fast, cling to what is true, seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, rightly divide the word of truth, be diligent, put on the full armor of God, run the race to the end, etc.

Many, many warnings given to the humble soul, who comes broken and contrite to the mercy seat pleading to God for mercy and reconciliation! Who has actually crucified their flesh with Christ as commanded, now cleansed and purge of all dead works, ready to now receive with meekness the truth of the word.

Carnal and spiritual are dead end enemies! They cancel each other out; you can’t be in one mind one minute then another mind the next, but this is what is being taught as normal throughout the professing Christian world today!

Rom 1:28 And even as they did not think fit to have God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do the things not right.

Tit 1:16 They profess that they know God, but in their works they deny Him, being abominable and disobedient and reprobate to every good work.

The whole dynamic process of salvation laid out by God is not getting saved as a vile sinner, then combating your flesh until you die, NO it’s the only way out, putting to death the works of the devil, keeping the carnal mind dead and obsolete.

Salvation is not a provision handed down by God to cure your ongoing sin and rebellion, NO its death to the old man, where the Holy son of God came as a sin offering, to return us to favor to God, on condition of real repentance(sin stops) and an obedient faith, both proven by deeds of a cleansed and pure heart, open to receive the spirit, broken and spiritually minded, standing fast in the truth, as the lost church and world condemns them, scoffing at their works of the heart gospel, loving their carnal mind that is opposed to God.

Faith upholds the law, holding fast to the word, faith works through love, bearing good fruit of the heart, and it overcomes the world, the flesh and the devil!

The word of God is rich and overflowing with many powerful nuggets of pure gold, giving the cleansed and spiritual mind fresh water that keeps them in the faith, as he comes broken and zealous to serve God with all their heart and soul!

So the next time you want to shoot the messenger of truth, ask yourself which mind you are in?

Eph 5:6 Let no man deceive you with vain words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the children of disobedience.
Tommy
 
May 18, 2010
931
15
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#12
Regards in respect to original post, I find it relieving in the sense of releasing tension when the verses from the bible which I meditate on to grasp tightly to them, The verses like
John 13
[SUP]34 [/SUP]A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.[SUP]35 [/SUP]By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

and 1 Cor 13
[SUP]
4 [/SUP]Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; [SUP]5 [/SUP]does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; [SUP]6 [/SUP]does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;[SUP]7 [/SUP]bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
[SUP]8 [/SUP]Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whetherthere is knowledge, it will vanish away.

among many, many other verses dealing with these same issues within the hearts of men.
 
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piper27

Guest
#13
Hey There, I especially appreciated Powermm post to you. Very encouraging, and deliberate in sharing the generous grace God operates in. In your last post, you've described horrible trauma. My heart aches for you - the abuse that was forced upon you, and the pain that you[ve been carrying around for way too long. I believe you when you say you've prayed, and prayed and seemingly no results. How frustrating.You have tremendous healing that needs to take place, and God is more than capable of doing this in/for you. In fact, its his absolute desire for you to be free. The process can be work, but the freedom is always worth it. Are you connected with a body of believers?
 
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Live4Yeshua

Guest
#14
I can relate. I've been stuck in this same situation and beleive confronting the person is the best way to go. I've done it many times before... And I beleive it is boiling up again to the conclusion of what the bible says ,"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21 . Prayer is great but sometimes we also need to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations; out of our comfort zone. Who ever you're angry with confront them, and do good to them and show them love. I assure hate will run out if your heart when you push the effort to do good for that ugly person. Prayer together with action is the best combination for the Holy Spirit to work. @danischance great post ! Never saw it as a demonic spirit... Now I see.
 
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Live4Yeshua

Guest
#15
To this I say I so understand where you're coming from.this has literally burdened my heart.read the very first post but missed this one....when I was a girl I was very much abused as well. My mother would beat me. It came to the point where I became numb to it and lived a zombie like life.i never knew how screwed up I was till I found Christ and slowly he broke my chains. But my anger and pain towards my mother were still there. Besides that treatment leaves you scared as a person forever. The feeling ofunworthyness an unloved haunts you. Till this day even though Jesus has liberated me of so much my self esteem still needs work. But it's all a working process in The Lord! Wish it was just one touch if Him and all Gone but that's not the way it works. We still need to be put in the fire.... The way I was able to forgive my mother and have peace with all she's done is facing her. I longed to hve a relationship with her that no matter what she had done I was going to be a loving daughter. Not because of her but because of Christ. Because Jesus loved me first I can love others. Because I am unworthy of His love I can love others unworthy of my love. But I continue to face her my past demons head on. She's one of them and she was the first of many other things I've had to forgive from others. She was a lesson learned, a hardship to make me stronger and in the end specifically done to bring me to Christ. Jesus knew my pain and he sure knows yours! But he has never brought us to something we aren't able to overcome. He knows you can overcome anyone whos done you wrong. Because bigger is He who is within you than He who is in the world! That's the beauty of Christ.! ... In my prayers my brother in Christ :)
 

pickles

Senior Member
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#16
Celticweb, I had some simular stuff growing up.
I understand the anger that feels so deeply seeded.
I struggled with this as well untill this was given to me.
I saw myself standing before the cross, Jesus nailed and suffering before my eyes, and standing next to me were all the people that had ever injured me, with their sins.
The thing is, I saw also all my sins as well.

Seeing Jesus on the cross , the suffering He took for my sins and theirs?
First, how could I not forgive when I looked at all my past sins.
Second, how could I not forgive, when seeing what Jesus did for me, for them, all of us.
Ask anything more to forgive.

My anger was washed away, and I knew only mercy for those that had injured me.

God bless
pickles
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#17
You've taken the first step! Good for you....deciding it's time to get rid of resentment and bitterness is not an easy decision to make. There's a part of us that wants to hold onto it...and take it out and polish it up every now and then. This must be our fallen nature; and if we don't fight it, it will 'own' us.

When I finally decided to change I started reading Joyce Meyer "Battlefield of the Mind" and praying to God to help me get rid of this inner turmoil. It took a year or so of vigilance to tackle it. I can honestly say that I'm not only happier, but a better person. Occasionally I'll catch myself trying to dig up old hurts but I make myself turn around and not go down that road. As Christians we know all the reasons we should not harbor hatred, bitterness, jealousy, etc. but actually applying the teaching is a whole different ballgame. I think it mostly has to do with getting our 'will' under our control. Once we decide that we're really going to get rid of those things, with the help of the Holy Spirit...it gets easier. Making that decision and meaning it with our whole heart is the biggest step.

Another thing that helped me was to practice gratitude. Find something to be thankful for in everything. Even if someone says something hurtful, see it as an opportunity to practice humility and to forgive...especially when not asked for forgiveness. Our egos are huge and easily offended. It takes work and alertness to tame these vicious parts.

Praying for you, wisdom, patience, diligence and a sincere heart...may the Spirit work in your life in a big way!
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#18
My anger started when I was 8, my father gave me my first of many black eyes... before I knew it, I was watching my mother die of cancer when I was 10.... more black eyes and stitches before I ran away and stayed w/friends until i was old enough to join the military... After Desert Storm, I tried my hand @ being a civilian to no avail, reinlisted, and before I shipped out, old "partying" friends from my youth asked me to attend sunday service... GOD Touched my heart, I wept uncontrollably and accepted Jesus as my savior... After I shipped out, I back-slid and never looked-back... anger and hostility reigned... I hated who I was and slipped into a self-destructive spiral that ended my military career. Drugs, sex, alcohol and violence took control and I ended up in prison. After 3 years of living in a box, I made a conscience decision to NOT REPEAT my past mistakes and read scripture every chance I got. This is only scratching the surface of the issues I have dealt with in my life... somehow I know that the Lord has a PLAN.... my only desire is to have him PROUD of WHO I AM. I still have nightmares, memories of very bad things that were cruel to experience, but I know that seeking HIM, working w/other BELIEVERS will help me to overcome this "baggage" that I need to lose. In short, I wish to thank everyone who has responded, I dont feel so alone in this... God bless you all
Praying for you that you find a group of Christians who will minister to you...we all need support of loving people as we grow in the Lord. He mainly works through people :)
 
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celticweb

Guest
#19
I cant begin to express my gratitude for all the wonderful replies... God bless you all
 
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celticweb

Guest
#20
I also have trouble in my relationships... theres an obvious reason why Ive never married, I have too much emotional baggage for any woman to tolerate... I wish God would just send me a post-it message w/directions!! lol