I don't think this is anything to do with being 'unresonable' this is basically a child protection issue. This girl was a child. She was not protected.
1. if the molesting happened by someone older than you and your parents did not keep the abusive relative away from you, then NO you are not being unreasonable. You parents were wrong. however you will still need to go to Jesus and learn how to forgive them.
When someone has been abused, forgiveness is massive. Usually the person struggles to forgive themselves (even though they are not culcaple) let alone anyone else. It takes a lot of time and support to work through. Good advice given re counselling.
2. if the molesting happened during a date with someone your own age, then it might have been a miscommunication and you shouldn't see that boy again. in this case you would have been unreasonable to expect your parents to handle a situation you as a teenage should have learned to handle yourself by avoiding situations with said boy.
Its still an offence. Age is not relevant. Age will only really influence the way the person is charged, either in adult or juvenile court for example. we cannot expect young women of young men to 'handle' themselves in such situations, there is no manual and by suggesting this, it puts the onus of responsibility onto the 'victim'. for example, if a girl wears a short skirt she tempts the male. Better to say that it is the male that lacks the self control, the skirt is not relevant.
3. if your did not tell your parents who the relative was or they tried their best to keep you from being exposed to said abusive relative if you did tell them, then you are being unreasonable.
Its a fact that victims find it very hard to tell of their abuse for a myriad of reasons, which is why the abuse can go on for many years within families. Main reasons are due to control and the Added to which, when the girl or boy does try to reach out, they are often dismissed, or not understood, so they withdraw into silence. Holding a victim responsile for their silence is totally misguided and damaging.
i would tell myself the same things.
And you may be able to hear and receive them...and its wonderful they have helped but they are not necessarily applicable here or right.
I know i've been unreasonable quite a bit in my life, but I thank God for His forgiveness and the love and understanding of family and friends who put up with my foolishness.
We can all be 'unresonable' but child abuse, any sort of abuse, whether physical, mental, financial or verbal is totally unacceptable and I think the word 'unreasonable' minimises its destructive, isolating and painful implications.
I'd rather someone tell me truthfully what they think than platitudes.[/QUOTE]
We just have to be very careful what we are talking about is not what we really know about. Experiencing something does not make us experts. It does often make us want to reach out and support others in a similar situation, we just need to be 'wise as serpents and gentle as doves'. Personality Disorders need professional 'Christian' help so the person can gain the freedom in Christ that is there for the taking but...its a hard road for these people to travel and it can take them a long time to be free. Not due to the delay in Gods promises
but in the chains that bind them being so difficult for them to unlock and be free from. <><
