We don't really have a disagreement, just different words. You are correct we can only evaluate actions but there are different levels. If someone sins we can look at that sin and nothing else, and than place judgement. We can also look at that sin and then look deeper into the person, seeing more than just the one act.
The husband also needs look deeper into himself. Does he understand what happened? Can he honestly forgive without lingering resentment? Is he willing to sacrifice and support his wife while working to maintain their relationship?
The answer to the posters original question is "maybe"; but it will take time, repentance and forgiveness.
