I have a severely autistic son who just turned 6, He is strong like a 15 yr old and is non verbal, and doesnt respond to instruction unless he is physically guided, with my husband he is putty in my husbands hands and responds to his deep rough voice and fears him in a respectful way, with me he runs from me, continues to be defiant he is constantly following me around, jumps on my back when im sitting on the lounge, climbs on the table whilst im eating or on computer to stop me. he lately has been spitting in my face front on and grips my feet and heels and bites.He has alot of sensory needs especially with throwing which he throws things over the neighbours fence.he has caused alot of damages and the windows are nailed shut I have much woes and sorrows at the moment with depression because the school holidays. I dont get out at all very much unless its church on Sunday night and Wednesday night,or unless I truly have to. my husband enters the room he truly behaves but he waits till my husband has gone then he gets that look on his face then he starts on me, Im truly trying to keep a good attitude but the close range frequent spitting in my face is really getting to me and the evil laugh. I try to just ignore it because rousing on him only makes him do it more I dont smack him because my husband is against me doing this,and it doesnt get through to him, but Im getting to the point where I cant take much more of this whole thing, Im the only spiritual leader and im feeling swallowed up. Im feeling giving him the ultimation its either him or me. If I had to deal with him on my ownsome I would put up with it until i couldnt anymore or until its time, I cant take him out anywhere because he cant be handled on my own, me and my husband together have 4 children, 8 7 6 1.
Autistic son
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Hi,
I'm sorry to hear about the troubles you have with your son and I hope that you'll find a way to calm him down. But, first, it is you that have to change your perspective on your son. You must understand that although he does those mean things, he is not a mean boy. He is the victim of his disease. Don't ignore him...I mean don't REALLY ignore him. When he does something only to upset you, you can PRETEND that you didn't notice but, do not ignore him. He asks for attention (by teasing you) and the way you respond is very important. You said that he behave himself in front of his father because of the father's deep rough voice. The boy sense authority and confidence in his father's voice. You also must find a way to impose yourself in front of the boy. He must know that you are in control, not him. Next time he does something mean to you, you must master your emotions and have a serious talk with him. When you tell him to behave, you must look deeply in his eyes (it's a way of imposing yourself), do not yell at him, but be categorical about what you say (try to show your authority and confidence through your tonality of your voice, body posture, facial expression etc.).
I'm sorry to hear about the troubles you have with your son and I hope that you'll find a way to calm him down. But, first, it is you that have to change your perspective on your son. You must understand that although he does those mean things, he is not a mean boy. He is the victim of his disease. Don't ignore him...I mean don't REALLY ignore him. When he does something only to upset you, you can PRETEND that you didn't notice but, do not ignore him. He asks for attention (by teasing you) and the way you respond is very important. You said that he behave himself in front of his father because of the father's deep rough voice. The boy sense authority and confidence in his father's voice. You also must find a way to impose yourself in front of the boy. He must know that you are in control, not him. Next time he does something mean to you, you must master your emotions and have a serious talk with him. When you tell him to behave, you must look deeply in his eyes (it's a way of imposing yourself), do not yell at him, but be categorical about what you say (try to show your authority and confidence through your tonality of your voice, body posture, facial expression etc.).
T
Sorry about this. My friend has a son with severe Autism. He's been on different medications to help him cope. Her son would make holes in the wall by banging his head. He would even mutilate his body. He wouldn't respect anyone. He has a lot of sensory issues and fear. My friend even put him in the hospital for a month to have him evaluated. It wasn't the result she was looking for but they did give him this medication I forget what it's called-- it's basically a medication that patients who suffer from seizures take. This was actually very helpful and it calmed him down. He was even able to get off all the other medications he was on. Your son sounds similar to my friends son in the sense that not only does he suffer from autism, but he is a strong willed child. The fact that your son behaves differently with your husband proves that he can control himself to some extent.
Anyway, my friend continued praying over her son. One of the things that God showed her was that her son had a tormenting spirit which is why he would hurt himself. I am not saying this is the case with your son, but I just wanted to share her story. Anyway, she began praying over every room in her house, especially her son's room. She said in that moment the LORD made her sensitive to this bad presence that was in her house. She felt the fear that her son felt. Once again, I'm not saying this is the case for you. But she began to take dominion and power in the name of Jesus over what was in her house. Immediately, what was in her home had to leave. Since then her son is so much better. He no longer makes holes in the walls or hurts himself. He no longer runs all over the place in fear. Her son still has autism, but God has made so much progress in him.
My advice to you is to pray with authority for your son and for the peace in your home. Stand your ground through prayer and faith. Your son belongs to the LORD and He is working in your son. Be strong... even though your son has autism he needs to be disciplined. I don't know if you take your son to occupational therapy, but they can show you how to discipline him. Sit down and talk with your husband. Raising children isn't easy even with kids that don't have autism. Sometimes both parents may not always agree on how to rear their children. But please don't give up... and try not to let this drive a wedge in your marriage
Anyway, my friend continued praying over her son. One of the things that God showed her was that her son had a tormenting spirit which is why he would hurt himself. I am not saying this is the case with your son, but I just wanted to share her story. Anyway, she began praying over every room in her house, especially her son's room. She said in that moment the LORD made her sensitive to this bad presence that was in her house. She felt the fear that her son felt. Once again, I'm not saying this is the case for you. But she began to take dominion and power in the name of Jesus over what was in her house. Immediately, what was in her home had to leave. Since then her son is so much better. He no longer makes holes in the walls or hurts himself. He no longer runs all over the place in fear. Her son still has autism, but God has made so much progress in him.
My advice to you is to pray with authority for your son and for the peace in your home. Stand your ground through prayer and faith. Your son belongs to the LORD and He is working in your son. Be strong... even though your son has autism he needs to be disciplined. I don't know if you take your son to occupational therapy, but they can show you how to discipline him. Sit down and talk with your husband. Raising children isn't easy even with kids that don't have autism. Sometimes both parents may not always agree on how to rear their children. But please don't give up... and try not to let this drive a wedge in your marriage
B
Dear Sister; let your husband deal with him so he sees issues that you do as well. This is another issue that's split many marriages. Take advantage of God's grace through prayers. Don't try and change your husband. That's God's place. And don't make it worse by kicking him out. The children will suffer and the burden only worsens. I am the father of a 26 year old autistic son. Its been a long journey. My wife communicates with me so I know what her expectations are. Now I will share with you an amazing site where you can get tons of resources and meet some Godly mothers and many unbelievers. myautismteam.com. Blessings in Christ. Larry Sherman
All of your answers have been very compassionately thought of, I appreciate everyone's experiences in sharing what you know,and your prayers Yesterday my child's autism worker came to visit him and i told her about the spitting and I was able to use this situation for the Glory of God, I told her that when he spits in my face i kiss the air to him back, thus I was able to share a scripture, 1 Peter 3:9 King James Bible
Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
she was able to comprehend it as I explained that verse, and from there I was able to witness to her which she has a heart of understanding to accept. We prayed for her at prayer meeting, all things do work out for Good to the that love God, to those who are the called according to his purpose, I truly hope and pray she will get saved, today has been a good day with my autistic boy, his spitting has been less and is learning to kiss the air, I believe that God was using him because I had so much pressure building up inside of me, yesterday my husband had his first bible study with my Pastor which was a great blessing and God was able to use this to address the real pressure at hand, I will still always struggle with my boy but I believe God uses him greatly to fashion our hearts, thank you for your prayers your input and for being there fore me in this Blessing, Julia
Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
she was able to comprehend it as I explained that verse, and from there I was able to witness to her which she has a heart of understanding to accept. We prayed for her at prayer meeting, all things do work out for Good to the that love God, to those who are the called according to his purpose, I truly hope and pray she will get saved, today has been a good day with my autistic boy, his spitting has been less and is learning to kiss the air, I believe that God was using him because I had so much pressure building up inside of me, yesterday my husband had his first bible study with my Pastor which was a great blessing and God was able to use this to address the real pressure at hand, I will still always struggle with my boy but I believe God uses him greatly to fashion our hearts, thank you for your prayers your input and for being there fore me in this Blessing, Julia
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