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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
Q: Did you check for breathing?
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
A friend of mine asked to borrow money. She said she was behind in her rent and was going to be evicted if she couldn't pay the 3000 dollars owed.
I had no problem with the amount but i dont make hasty decisions. So i told her i needed time to think about it.
About a half hour later her sister called me and told me it was a lie. She said her sister wanted the money to bail out her boyfriend who was in jail. She went on to say that it was her sisters boyfriends birthday in a couple of days and she wanted to celebrate it with him under the same roof.
So after much thought i said nothing to her and gave her the money.
3 hours later i got a call from my friend yelling and screaming at me asking why did i give her counterfit money?
I told her that to my understanding you wanted to celebrate your boyfriends birthday under the same roof.
2 Catholic priest died and went to heaven. St peter ment them at the gate and told them that heaven was a huge place that by answering 1 question there reward would be very useful to see all the sites.
He then asked the first priest how many souls have you helped? The priest replied 200.
St peter replied thats great and gave him a Cadillac to drive.
St peter ask the same to the other and he replied 500.
St peter replied fantastic and gave him a Mercedes to drive.
Both were driving around heaven taking in the sites when the first priest coming to a intersection saw his friend laughing hysterically going through the intersection and crashing into him.
His friend kept on laughing . So the other said hey we just totaled out our cars ....why are you laughing.
To which the other replied...dont look now but here comes the pope on roller skates.