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T
I think you shouldsit down and discuss this with both of your parents and see if you can come to a compromise. What ever you do you have to be happy with your decision. Can you handle the advanced classes? Do you want to take the medical route. If not, are you willing to be in serious debt for many years if you pay on your own(student loans)? sorry to say but no one can answer these questions for you. This is part of becoming adult. Making those tough decisions.
Pray to God for guidance and revelation about this matter before and after speaking with your parents.
God Bless
Pray to God for guidance and revelation about this matter before and after speaking with your parents.
God Bless
C
submit, obedience is better than sacrifice, God can change hearts and minds, we cant, be patient and accept that your Dad only seeks the best for you, thru submission and obedience blessings will flow and things will turn out far better than your own plans could ever imagine. Apologise to your Dad for any indescretion on your part as im sure it would be frustrating times for you, but its times like this that we trust God with our life in total, not part.
prov 3:5-6
prov 3:5-6
xJoe,
I'm somewhat confused. What kind of college or program is it that you are signed up for, and what kind of degree or certificate does it lead to? Medical school requires a four-year (bachelor's) degree and then application to any medical schools you may be interested in, though there are other professional programs that do not require a degree, which do not lead to an M.D. What kind of school is it? How good is the school, and what is the quality of the program? How long is the program?
If it is a professional program leading to a specialized credential, which leads to a job that you are not interested in doing, I can understand your hesitation, though you could always suck it up and apply to a normal college for your bachelor's degree afterward. On the other hand, if it's a high-quality program at a good school, you may want to consider the fact that medicine is a great field which can provide you with valuable knowledge, and you may be able to branch out into another area more suitable to your interests after finishing. Either way, keep in mind that, depending on the nature of the program, there's a good chance you can move on to something more suitable to you after you after you're finished there.
On the flip side, financial aid is available if you decide to go it on your own. If you decide to go this route, it's important for you to research the specifics of the financial aid that will be available to you based on the particulars of your own situation. Typically, financial aid is said to be need-based. For example, poor families receive more financial aid than those that are well-off. This is based on your parents' income, mostly, as well as your own income, if any, as reported for tax purposes. Typically your parents' income would be included in this, which would not be good for you in this case, but if your parents will not help out, and you are deemed to be independent, your parents' income might not be considered. Basically, there are certain criteria that have to be met in order to be considered independent, but if you are able to meet these criteria your financial aid will go way up. Once you reach a certain age (it's around 25), you are automatically considered independent, but to be considered independent before then you have to meet the criteria and apply for it specifically. Low-interest deferred-payment student loans are typically available, as well. Talk to a financial aid counselor and you should be able to get some good advice about your situation.
Also, very important: if you have not already done so, MAKE SURE TO DO YOUR FAFSA THIS MONTH! As in, within the next week or so. Many schools have deadlines for priority consideration for next year's financial aid which will be ending at the beginning of March! It's not hard and you can do it online.
I can understand your desire to go to a "normal" college, and I think you have the right idea here. Ultimately you will do much better if you are doing something you want to do. But what is best may depend on a lot of specifics, and the situation should not be over-simplified. In particular I am unclear on the nature of the school your dad has set out for you.
I'm somewhat confused. What kind of college or program is it that you are signed up for, and what kind of degree or certificate does it lead to? Medical school requires a four-year (bachelor's) degree and then application to any medical schools you may be interested in, though there are other professional programs that do not require a degree, which do not lead to an M.D. What kind of school is it? How good is the school, and what is the quality of the program? How long is the program?
If it is a professional program leading to a specialized credential, which leads to a job that you are not interested in doing, I can understand your hesitation, though you could always suck it up and apply to a normal college for your bachelor's degree afterward. On the other hand, if it's a high-quality program at a good school, you may want to consider the fact that medicine is a great field which can provide you with valuable knowledge, and you may be able to branch out into another area more suitable to your interests after finishing. Either way, keep in mind that, depending on the nature of the program, there's a good chance you can move on to something more suitable to you after you after you're finished there.
On the flip side, financial aid is available if you decide to go it on your own. If you decide to go this route, it's important for you to research the specifics of the financial aid that will be available to you based on the particulars of your own situation. Typically, financial aid is said to be need-based. For example, poor families receive more financial aid than those that are well-off. This is based on your parents' income, mostly, as well as your own income, if any, as reported for tax purposes. Typically your parents' income would be included in this, which would not be good for you in this case, but if your parents will not help out, and you are deemed to be independent, your parents' income might not be considered. Basically, there are certain criteria that have to be met in order to be considered independent, but if you are able to meet these criteria your financial aid will go way up. Once you reach a certain age (it's around 25), you are automatically considered independent, but to be considered independent before then you have to meet the criteria and apply for it specifically. Low-interest deferred-payment student loans are typically available, as well. Talk to a financial aid counselor and you should be able to get some good advice about your situation.
Also, very important: if you have not already done so, MAKE SURE TO DO YOUR FAFSA THIS MONTH! As in, within the next week or so. Many schools have deadlines for priority consideration for next year's financial aid which will be ending at the beginning of March! It's not hard and you can do it online.
I can understand your desire to go to a "normal" college, and I think you have the right idea here. Ultimately you will do much better if you are doing something you want to do. But what is best may depend on a lot of specifics, and the situation should not be over-simplified. In particular I am unclear on the nature of the school your dad has set out for you.
R
Clearly it sounds like he is trying to impose his will on you. And unlike others, I do NOT believe in submission. It is your life you must live, not your father's. And if you have to pay for your own college, so what? Most of us have student loans to pay for.
Whose life are you living? Yours or your father's? Find your own happiness, carve your own path, and live your own life. Good luck.
Whose life are you living? Yours or your father's? Find your own happiness, carve your own path, and live your own life. Good luck.
Pray to God all the you feel you need and want to, you can never go wrong by doing that. But like Thimsrebma said, in some sense you have to look at the practical end of it all. Are you in a postion to cover all the financial costs of attending the university? I'm sure you've thought about it before and are well aware that just this alone can be very expensive, not to mention other things in life apart from school. You're young so you can create your own future down the line but I suggest, like so many others, that for now you do what's necessary to put yourself in a position later on to make your own decisions.
D
Rob,
Your advice contradicts your signature. If you "believe", you feel compelled to do God's will. And God's will is clearly that children listen to their parents. “Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you ... ." (Deuteronomy 5:16) If you prefer the New Testament, try "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." (Colossians 3:20)
Therefore, your advice to "live your own life" contradicts the teaching of Scripture. I believe it is dangerous to go against God's word in any circumstance.
Your advice contradicts your signature. If you "believe", you feel compelled to do God's will. And God's will is clearly that children listen to their parents. “Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you ... ." (Deuteronomy 5:16) If you prefer the New Testament, try "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." (Colossians 3:20)
Therefore, your advice to "live your own life" contradicts the teaching of Scripture. I believe it is dangerous to go against God's word in any circumstance.
It is also true that we are not to add to God's word. Honoring your father and mother does not mean obeying everything they say. If your parents told you to sin, does that mean the word of God tells us to sin? Of course not. Hororing means honoring. Obeying means obeying. We cannot change the word of God to suit our needs.
X
thank you everyone.
I am curious on the matter of is this obeying and honoring my father. I personally believe that it has nothing to do with that. If God wants me to be something and my parents tell me no am I suppose to submit? In the end I want to do what God wants for me and I am conflicted on if this is a good idea or not.
This way is sort of a shortcut and will get me a degree faster then other programs but the thing that troubles me is, Does that satisfy God? Does God approve of this shorter method or does he want me to do it the long fulfilled way?
I do in some sense wants to be this but not this way. That is my concern.
I am curious on the matter of is this obeying and honoring my father. I personally believe that it has nothing to do with that. If God wants me to be something and my parents tell me no am I suppose to submit? In the end I want to do what God wants for me and I am conflicted on if this is a good idea or not.
This way is sort of a shortcut and will get me a degree faster then other programs but the thing that troubles me is, Does that satisfy God? Does God approve of this shorter method or does he want me to do it the long fulfilled way?
I do in some sense wants to be this but not this way. That is my concern.
R
Your advice contradicts your signature. If you "believe", you feel compelled to do God's will. And God's will is clearly that children listen to their parents. “Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you ... ." (Deuteronomy 5:16) If you prefer the New Testament, try "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." (Colossians 3:20)
Belief can also mean believing in yourself. At college age, you are technically an adult, no longer a child.
If I had listened to my father I'd be an alcoholic. Just something to ponder...
Belief can also mean believing in yourself. At college age, you are technically an adult, no longer a child.
If I had listened to my father I'd be an alcoholic. Just something to ponder...
1
Ok dude here's the deal. Your age says you're 19. That means an adult.
That means you have the freedom to do what you want (within God's will of course).
BUT as an adult receiving money and funding from your parents, you must do what they want.
In other words you basically got two options.
Stay on their money and do as they wish, or get off their money and make it on your own, doing as you wish (within God's will).
As an adult, honoring your father and mother doesn't necessarily mean following every dictate and desire they have for you. That would be the case if you were still a kid. So I don't think the honor your father and mother card really weighs heavily in choosing your options here.
What does weigh heavily is the choice to either be an adult who lives off their money or be an adult who doesn't live off their money. Living off their money you're 100% obligated to do as they wish. That's just how it works.
That means you have the freedom to do what you want (within God's will of course).
BUT as an adult receiving money and funding from your parents, you must do what they want.
In other words you basically got two options.
Stay on their money and do as they wish, or get off their money and make it on your own, doing as you wish (within God's will).
As an adult, honoring your father and mother doesn't necessarily mean following every dictate and desire they have for you. That would be the case if you were still a kid. So I don't think the honor your father and mother card really weighs heavily in choosing your options here.
What does weigh heavily is the choice to either be an adult who lives off their money or be an adult who doesn't live off their money. Living off their money you're 100% obligated to do as they wish. That's just how it works.
M
Your parents can attach whatever conditions they wish when it's their money but it's your life and sometimes it's a longer road to home than we'd like, if you want opinions I'd pack your bags and get a job, save money until you can afford to live your life on your own terms, honouring your father doesn't translate to letting him run your life or allowing him to take the road not travelled by forcing you a certain way, my personal view is that age does not always equal greater wisdom and so what your father wants may not be best.
You are a man, so make the choice about your life for yourself and don't let anyone else choose for you, live that way and your life will pass you by, it's better for life to be harder and slower than something you never wanted at all.
You are a man, so make the choice about your life for yourself and don't let anyone else choose for you, live that way and your life will pass you by, it's better for life to be harder and slower than something you never wanted at all.