Confused, mad and scared -- uncertain!

[Silverwings]

A month ago~~~ Wow, just wow!!! You are a babe in Christ , and just like a baby needs tending to, so do you, and this is what your brothers and sisters are doing for you right now......tending to your needs!!! Teaching you what you need to know to grow up strong and healthy in Christ. Your walk will continue down the path of growing, thru toddler stage, then adolescent, young adult, and finally one day a strong mature Son of God will emerge and the enemy that tormented you will begin to back up and be fearful of who you are and have become. Never ever give up or give in to defeat, for the God you serve is a Mighty God, who does not entertain defeat in any category, in all things you are victorious, thru Him who died for you. Rise up every time and shake off the discouragement, despair & defeat and put on Christ, with the armor He has provided for you. You are more than a conqueror thru Christ Jesus.
Love your wife like Christ loved the church, and thru your efforts she will see Christ in you the hope of Glory.

 

[Silverwings]

Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you, he will stick closer to you than a brother.

 

[Depleted]

I gave my life to Christ nearly a month ago in a situation where I should have been an atheist.
I have since been prayed for by a dear church member who loves me dearly, but that's not the point.

I used to be an aggressive person, but to my family, more so my wife, and we would yell at each other and it wouldn't be good; it was a bad place to be in.
More so to do with me not letting go of the past, and it's weird because I was prayed that it would leave me and I feel like it did...

But since giving my life to Christ things have been a lot better, I read my Bible a lot more and I incorporate Christ in everything I do, I try to at least and I feel different; he is my refuge and in him do I give my all, my identity is him, he is my Lord.

Very recently though I had a brain snap and I feel that I was lead by the demonic spirits (attacking my mind) which lead me to be upset at my wife -bringing up the past- and we argued, then I lost it -- I went to my old ways and I am not proud.
I feel ashamed, confused, scared, fearful and mad. How can I be so 'Christian' then lose all sight of that and walk in the flesh?

Why did this happen?

Why can't I let go of the past when I said I have, and I felt that spiritually I was free?

It sucks.

23 years of doing stuff that works for you and makes you the center of your universe. One month of having God take over the center of your universe. Who gives up stuff that works for them? Um, those reborn in God. We may give it up, but it worked for us, so we've conditioned ourselves to do that for decades. And now we don't. We're unlearning bad habits.

I started typing my reports for school in third grade without any training in typing. And I love writing, so I typed much more than those reports through my school years. 30 years later, I decided to learn how to type correctly. It was slower to get the same results, took a lot more concentration, and I backspaced a lot, but it was doable. Then I had something I had to type quickly and, out of sheer panic, I reverted back to old ways. I gave up. 20 years later and I can type 45 wpm with six fingers. Had I stuck to the proper way, I could easily be doing 60-70 wpm, but I went back to works-for-me. That wasn't satanic either. That was me.

You screwed up. Probably out of habit. Possibly out of frustration. Likely for a combination of reasons. Keep your eye on God.

Do you see him? (Figuratively.) What's his expression? If you're thinking he's angry, then you forgot who God is. He's our Dad. And Dad just saw you stepping out for a whooooole month without tripping on that one. He's excited! And now he sees you upset with yourself for tripping.

Want to know what he's doing? His hand is stretched out for you to grab it again so the two of you can keep on going with your walk. Sure. The scraped knee hurts. But walking with Dad takes the sting away and reminds us what we're working toward.

Won't be the last time you screw up. But keep going and you remember why you don't want to more.

(P.S. On the other hand, you have to work toward forgiveness from the Mrs. Just sayin'.)

 

[BurlyCarl]

Why did this happen?

Why can't I let go of the past when I said I have, and I felt that spiritually I was free?

A: Its a test. The devil will test you and so will God. Young Christians starting out often time vulnerable. I highly suggest getting into a men's group. You can make good friends. Also you can ask someone if you can call them or ask them to hold you accountable. Didn't you feel horrible reliving the past? The devil was right in you face. He will do that when your walk is good with the Lord. You aggravated your wife.

The past likes to revisit us and remind us that it is comfortable. Don't make excuses for sin. If your past is sin never try to make a reason or a excuse for it. I know a few people in my life who literally made Sin a priority. I am guilty of it. Because it made me comfortable. Satan will do anything and even make you comfortable. He knocked you right off the path. Satan does that. He sees you doing really well. For certain he will come over shove you a knock you down. How you recover and get up is what God wants you to do. Good says come on get up like a coach yelling at you.

 

[ladylynn]

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[h=4]Romans 4:5[/h]But to him who does not work but believes on Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is accounted for righteousness,​

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Boldness is what God wants you to have when you come to Him. He does not want you to be afraid to come to Him, feeling unworthy because of your sins. He wants you to come boldly to Him, knowing that the death, burial and resurrection of His Son Jesus Christ has justified you and qualified you to boldly receive from Him.

This was the kind of boldness that the woman with the issue of blood had when she touched Jesus. (Mark 5:25–34) Now, by touching Jesus, she knew that she was breaking a Levitical law which states that anyone with a bodily discharge is unclean, and should not appear in public, let alone touch another person. (Leviticus 15)

But she refused to feel condemned by the law. She believed what she had heard about Jesus, and was confident that there would only be love and compassion, not condemnation, from Him. She believed that Jesus would justify her and qualify her to receive the miracle she needed. That was why she boldly pressed her way into the crowd to touch Jesus, who indeed said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well.” (Mark 5:34)

What was it about her faith that made her well? Romans 4:5 talks about faith that believes God justifies the ungodly. When you believe that God justifies the ungodly, it will give you boldness to come to God, even when you feel unclean because you have just blown it.

When you fail, don’t run away from God. Run boldly to Him, knowing that you are justified by the blood of Christ and not by your good behavior.

The devil may say to you, “How can you do that? Who do you think you are?” Don’t listen to him. Pick yourself up and thank God for the blood and the gift of no condemnation. (Romans 8:1) If God justifies the ungodly, how much more you, His beloved child!

Thought For The Day
You are justified by the blood of Christ and not by your good behavior.

 

[ladylynn]

This is so radical

So appropriate LOL
[video=youtube;kbB0QrBIs9k]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbB0QrBIs9k[/video]

Wow Popeye, you are sooooooooooooo out of the box!!!!!

 

[RickyZ]

God says perseverance is the key. This is a war of attrition with the benefit of knowing Who ultimately wins in the end. You'll have good days and bad days but you have to just keep walking the walk thru them all. When satan makes you stumble, just picture how it's going to be when you stand before the throne of God and watch him be cast into the lake of fire. Then smile and think, you wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[red_love]

Thank you all for your replies!
It warms my heart to read of your care AND spiritual wisdom.
I thank God for people like yourselves.

Be well.

 

[RickyZ]

God bless you, my friend