Dangerous Ex, heard of a Protection Order?

[BarlyGurl]

I thank the OP for clarifying the distinctions between restraining orders and protection orders for the readers to be informed... thus adding to the OPTIONS available... I would like to add that taking personal responsibility for your own safety (weapon training) is another option in the US and that can provide the user with 24Hr peace of mind.

 

[pieman]

Christians or anyone else do not have to suffer in silence when being physically abused.

In the USA, in the UK, in all free countries actually the legal systems provide domestic remedies for families/ individuals to protect themselves against dangerous persons. In the USA specifically, states' laws provide a means in which victims of domestic abuse/ assault can apply to their local court and request a protection order. A protection order would be used where a family/ individual wants to stop all contact with the offender. It's not a criminal law remedy it's a civil remedy although the matters may be criminal in nature too.

Here is a relevant website which tells you how to go about it.How to Get a Protective Order In the United States: 8 Steps

There are two ways to get a protection order, the first is via for paying for a lawyer or through legal aid systems. The other, if you feel you can and will have some support at court from a family member or friend, is to make a motion to the judge and request a hearing for a protection order. You however will require some evidence perhaps from the crime itself such as documentation from the police station, in the form of medical statement from doctors or photographs of bruising/ other harm. The court will take into account witness statements too.


Do not suffer in silence, you guys live in free countries with legal systems which will support you.


Tom, just a friend/ a helper (not a qualified lawyer...but has legal knowledge through formal legal studies).

I'm going to have to get a protection order on myself, since I am my worse enemy.

 

[ChristianUk13]

Christian- I wholeheartedly appreciate the information you have given for others. And perhaps in small states or towns and cities the protection and/or a restraining order works. I PERSONALLY have found neither work. YES they are a great start and if the individual who the order was placed on has half a brain left, they will follow it. However that other half of their brain...the part that wants the person whom put the order on tends to supersede the part that may still function and they don't care...as they want that person at all costs. If you actually get an officer of the law to come and or truly listen to you, it tends to be to late. I'd gladly show you my scars where the knife sliced me as proof...however that may be a little to much. So YES sometimes it works and the word there is SOMETIMES. My friend whom still lives in California last year lost a job, had to move six time, was constantly followed, screamed and threatened and there was a protection and restraining order. The judge after 5 hearings simply said there is really nothing wee can do until physical harm comes to you. Our jails are to full to take every person in. And advised my friend to move to a new city. Now here is the kicker...are you ready????? The protection and restraining order were on a female and my friend a male. A 6' 5" male who could certainly handled it easy himself, however he tried to handle it through the system and ended up leaving the city he was born and raised in. So again, we are not being rude and we appreciate what you have shared, however I am thinking the woman here on this thread are living (thankfully) proof that the protection and restraining order do not work.

What am saying am providing a remedy for some women/ men whose partner may be manipulating them, but the partner in fact does not want to get into trouble with the law, or go to jail as they will lose their property through not making the payments etc. If everyone was so dangerous there would not even be an economy as there would be no employees. Not every person is so dangerous and not every state jail is so full to capacity that they could not house some offenders for a short while. It seems to me that your friend is an isolated case - without actually researching the statistics for protection orders - but to be fair my mentioning protection orders was never meant to be a debate. However, your friend's situation sounds more like a mental asylum issue than a prison/ jail issue. Like you I only have anecdotal evidence in terms of my involvement with a person who had a protection order issue, in addition to reading US legal journals on protection orders in which lawyers seems to support them and the very reason the courts/ police have this remedy indicates that they are being utilised. i am however sorry that they have not worked for you. The police have to automatically arrest a person where there is a protection order in place With a restraining order, it is a judicial issue. Ergo, it is not a case of getting an officer to listen to you with a protection order, it simply is a case of whether the persons on the protection order have been contacted by the offender that gives rise to the police arrest them as breaching a court order; as the order of protection comes first from the judge and then is executed by the police wherein the protection order has been breached. I am so sorry also how you have clearly suffered such violence against you that resulted in knife wounds. There are psychopaths yes but not all populations have terribly many psychopaths as if that were the case it would mean that the large majority of people could not function to a large extent. i have also studied criminology and psychology, as well as a law degree.

 

[damombomb]

Here where we live, a women put a restraining order on her husband, then later on called him to come over, then called cops on him. He locked himself in bathroom, cops told him to come out, he came out hands in air, cops shot him to death. Pretty messed up. If someone puts an order on someone it is a serious thing. Not a thing to take lightly.

 

[ChristianUk13]

Certainly DO NOT WORK!!! If an abuser or stalker wants you,,,they will do anything in their power to have you. I learned my lesson the hard way! However I came out the other end with a black belt, weapons training and a Concealed Weapons permit! Guess what??? That training works!!!!!

It depends how you define weapon, but if it is a gun the following is relevant. The problem with shooting someone notwithstanding the US' constitutional right to bear arms (even though the law is nearly 300 years old) is the criminal charges which are likely to be brought against the person and the stress of having to deal with that. The constitution on the one hand protects persons rights to carry weapons but if those weapons are used illegally in terms of killing or permanently maiming someone without due cause (reasonable force), if the person survives and you have money to be worth suing, you will be sued for any torts (wrongs, and compensating those wrongs). However, shooting someone also pertains to reasonable force and if the force is not reasonable, it may be a murder-esque or felony-type crime. As for the constitution, whilst protection orders are not considered constitutional rights per se they are in fact legal avenues, but possessing and discharging fire arms could bring an awful lot of stress - as the state would be considering bringing charges and starting with the most serious and working backwards.

 

[JeniBean]

It depends how you define weapon, but if it is a gun the following is relevant. The problem with shooting someone notwithstanding the US' constitutional right to bear arms (even though the law is nearly 300 years old) is the criminal charges which are likely to be brought against the person and the stress of having to deal with that. The constitution on the one hand protects persons rights to carry weapons but if those weapons are used illegally in terms of killing or permanently maiming someone without due cause (reasonable force), if the person survives and you have money to be worth suing, you will be sued for any torts (wrongs, and compensating those wrongs). However, shooting someone also pertains to reasonable force and if the force is not reasonable, it may be a murder-esque or felony-type crime. As for the constitution, whilst protection orders are not considered constitutional rights per se they are in fact legal avenues, but possessing and discharging fire arms could bring an awful lot of stress - as the state would be considering bringing charges and starting with the most serious and working backwards.

Have you ever held a gun at an attacker? Or cock the shot gun at an intruder? MOST run the opposite direction. The ones who do not have serious issues and no fear. My training allows me to disarm anyone and see how something as simple as a paper clip can be a weapon need be. I have a CWP which allows weapons on me at all times (govt buildings, schools, etc weapons are not allowed). Currently my purse holds pepper spray and brass knuckles. My body holds a 22 loaded and locked with a laser pointer...which scares most people to see the laser simply pointed at them. My stature a 6 foot tall as my friends state "beautiful amazon" is scary enough, now throw in I will defend myself and the ones I love with little thought to my safety or the thought some one may sue me (FOR THE RECORD annuities are un-sue-able) as not only do I have the rights, I will not be a victim again or allow someone I care about to be victimized because the order didn't work, the police didn't come in time or he was let out 3 hours later and now is back. Simply put...the law is the law (even 300 year old laws) and people break them. People are people and there are some whackos out there. An Order is an Order...can I get fries with my order? It's a piece of paper that YES can cause actions...but so can eating that odd looking order of food. We here in america have a right to get an order, but also the right to protect ourselves. Sadly the LAW and JUSTICE DOES NOT always work. So if God made me smart and athletic enough to handle any situation should it arise, then THANK YOU GOD for my mind and body to protect myself and the ones I love. Should the situation arise I trust he will be with me no matter the consequences. I would gladly sit in jail or live on the streets knowing I protected my children or sister from someone whom can't follow an order.