dislike my husband

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V

violakat

Guest
#21
It puzzles and hurts me a bit how people claim to have Christ in them, but yet claim to know what I want. If i wanted to leave him, i could've LIKE MAYBE 2 YEARS AGO AFTER i caught him with his pants down, drunk, with the neighbor girl in OUR BASEMENT. So, I am so sorry, that after 10 years of him drinking and treating me & our children like dirt and then doing the ultimate - screwing around on me.......that I am asking for help. I don't need a biblical excuse for leaving him, I know that even if i left him, the Lord would forgive me. I am simply saying that my husband treats me like dirt. I cry to him about things, and he treats me like dirt while I am crying. Do you want to know what it feels like to be saved? It feels like I woke up and I looked around me, at this man I married......and all i say in my head is "oh no, what have i done?" Do you know how being unsaved affects every part of your life? So not only does he have no responsibility to bring his children up in God, he also is a complete slob, and he sees no issues except what everyone else is doing. So, if one of us leaves a plate in the sink, he can, too..... because the way he looks at it is that he doesn't have to try to do anything, becuase no one else does. But you know who ends up cleaning a overloading sink full of dishes? me. and trust me, i am not even talking about dirty dishes, because this "idea" has to do with EVERYTHING and every aspect in his life. it's this attitude i can not take. I am completely exhausted in dealing with his sinful ways and although yes, you are correct, i need to respect him and all that jazz, I ANSWER TO GOD before my husband, and i am TO PLEASE GOD before my husband. So, you see, i won't stand around and keep my mouth shut when he's playing his violent video games in front of our young kids, because my God doesn't want that corruption in his life, or my children's lives. Some of you just don't get it, I only wish for you to not judge, but if you have no advice for me, than to pass the post right up. I thank those who have given me serious and goodhearted responses, they have helped me a bit to put things back into perspective. I am seriously thankful.
((((( hugs to you Sweety ))))))
 
W

woodl

Guest
#22
It puzzles and hurts me a bit how people claim to have Christ in them, but yet claim to know what I want. If i wanted to leave him, i could've LIKE MAYBE 2 YEARS AGO AFTER i caught him with his pants down, drunk, with the neighbor girl in OUR BASEMENT. So, I am so sorry, that after 10 years of him drinking and treating me & our children like dirt and then doing the ultimate - screwing around on me.......that I am asking for help. I don't need a biblical excuse for leaving him, I know that even if i left him, the Lord would forgive me. I am simply saying that my husband treats me like dirt. I cry to him about things, and he treats me like dirt while I am crying. Do you want to know what it feels like to be saved? It feels like I woke up and I looked around me, at this man I married......and all i say in my head is "oh no, what have i done?" Do you know how being unsaved affects every part of your life? So not only does he have no responsibility to bring his children up in God, he also is a complete slob, and he sees no issues except what everyone else is doing. So, if one of us leaves a plate in the sink, he can, too..... because the way he looks at it is that he doesn't have to try to do anything, becuase no one else does. But you know who ends up cleaning a overloading sink full of dishes? me. and trust me, i am not even talking about dirty dishes, because this "idea" has to do with EVERYTHING and every aspect in his life. it's this attitude i can not take. I am completely exhausted in dealing with his sinful ways and although yes, you are correct, i need to respect him and all that jazz, I ANSWER TO GOD before my husband, and i am TO PLEASE GOD before my husband. So, you see, i won't stand around and keep my mouth shut when he's playing his violent video games in front of our young kids, because my God doesn't want that corruption in his life, or my children's lives. Some of you just don't get it, I only wish for you to not judge, but if you have no advice for me, than to pass the post right up. I thank those who have given me serious and goodhearted responses, they have helped me a bit to put things back into perspective. I am seriously thankful.
Mishlf I do understand where you are comming from. I wouldn't want you to think that I'm judgeing you because I'm not and I don't think anybody else is. I think that everybody that responded loves you dearly and would love to give you sound advise that would help you.
Five more days and my wife and I have been married for thirty years. We have two small children. One is five and one is eight. My wife won't go to church with me either. She won't even get up and help me get them ready. she gets drunk every other day. Any time I try to tell her about Jesus she realy gets mad with me. There's been a lot of times I wished that I had marriaged someone from the church but that's one of my mistakes and I'll just have to deal with it. I do love my wife and I hope one day I can win her over. I hate the thought of her dieing in her sins and going to hell.
But now only you and God knows what's going on in your life. Nobody else can walk in your shoes. We love you dearly and I wouldn't want you to feel anything different. You pray for me and I'll pray for you OK.
Omighty God I lift up Mishlf to you in the name of Jesus. She's one of yours Lord. I pray that you will give her directions in her life on which way to go for only you know the heart. I pray that all things will be to your glory. In the name of Jesus amen.

God bless you Mishlf
 
M

mishlf

Guest
#23
thanks for the verses. it helps when i keep reading them. i am definitey going through a trial right now and I feel like i'm trapped in a maze and can't get out. I am hurting very bad and it hurts me very bad that he is so lost. It really has overcome my life. thank you for helping to guide me through these tough times.
 
S

surrender2God

Guest
#24
I've been where you are but I refuse to tear my husband down--I have been married for 24 years and I love my husband very much. We have three boys and I have gone to church with my boys for 16 years whether my husband went or not and I will continue to do so in spite of what anybody else says or does. My relationship with God is between me and God--the only person I can blame if I walk away from God is the one that I see when I look into the mirror.
 

pickles

Senior Member
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#25
It puzzles and hurts me a bit how people claim to have Christ in them, but yet claim to know what I want. If i wanted to leave him, i could've LIKE MAYBE 2 YEARS AGO AFTER i caught him with his pants down, drunk, with the neighbor girl in OUR BASEMENT. So, I am so sorry, that after 10 years of him drinking and treating me & our children like dirt and then doing the ultimate - screwing around on me.......that I am asking for help. I don't need a biblical excuse for leaving him, I know that even if i left him, the Lord would forgive me. I am simply saying that my husband treats me like dirt. I cry to him about things, and he treats me like dirt while I am crying. Do you want to know what it feels like to be saved? It feels like I woke up and I looked around me, at this man I married......and all i say in my head is "oh no, what have i done?" Do you know how being unsaved affects every part of your life? So not only does he have no responsibility to bring his children up in God, he also is a complete slob, and he sees no issues except what everyone else is doing. So, if one of us leaves a plate in the sink, he can, too..... because the way he looks at it is that he doesn't have to try to do anything, becuase no one else does. But you know who ends up cleaning a overloading sink full of dishes? me. and trust me, i am not even talking about dirty dishes, because this "idea" has to do with EVERYTHING and every aspect in his life. it's this attitude i can not take. I am completely exhausted in dealing with his sinful ways and although yes, you are correct, i need to respect him and all that jazz, I ANSWER TO GOD before my husband, and i am TO PLEASE GOD before my husband. So, you see, i won't stand around and keep my mouth shut when he's playing his violent video games in front of our young kids, because my God doesn't want that corruption in his life, or my children's lives. Some of you just don't get it, I only wish for you to not judge, but if you have no advice for me, than to pass the post right up. I thank those who have given me serious and goodhearted responses, they have helped me a bit to put things back into perspective. I am seriously thankful.
mishlf, I hope you did not misunderstand what I spoke to, Im not trying to judge you, only witness to what I had to come to understand in Jesus.
Reading your additional information does speak to an oppressive spirit at work in your home.
Your husband is very open to this because of his unbelief.
If you can find a time where no one else is at home, take and bless your home with holy oil, banishing all evil from your home, if you have another christian who can do this with you, it would be helpful.
I did this , blessing every opening, window, door (even the air vents) commanding in Jesus Christ is Lord Come in the flesh for all evil spirits to leave and never return or bother any of my family again.
Then call all that is the presance of the Holy Spirit to cover and fill your home in Jesus Christ is Lord come in the flesh.
I was astonished and thankful, praising God for the results.
You may have to repeat this a few times untill your husband is a believer.
I used to think this kind of thing was not that nessasary, I have trully changed my thinking on this.
This will help remove the influences on your family and husband.
Now, understand I spoke in witness as I did before, not to judge you or your actions, but because it is our actions that keep all that is the Glory of God in Jesus in every place in heart, body and home.
What we are called to in obedience is more about God's glory, presance and power in our lives, not about condmnation and judgement.
For everything we can give to Jesus, brings all that is His power and presance to what we give. :)
I cannot say if your huband will change, Ive seen these battles in marraiges, some are healed, some the spouce only gets worce, simply because that spouce chooses to embrace flesh, rather than Jesus.
My sister's husband only got worce, and finally she had to divorce him, because of the increacingly terrible actions and attacks and evil in them.
Your husband is blessed to have you and your commitment to him in Jesus.
Please keep in mind, your children are also blessed by your faith in Jesus, bringing protection to them, in spite of your husbands actions.
Ive seen this blessing in my own children, my sisters children, and in my own life and brothers and sisters, despite the abuse and actions of our father.
Know that God is protecting your children and give them to Jesus, trusting in this care.
I hope that this has helped in some ways, for it is in Jesus we find all we need and the understanding of what we are asked to do.
You, your husband and your children are in my daily prayers in Jesus, that all that is His protection, grace and love will be with all of you constantly.
I pray also that Jesus gives you the comfort needed, for these burdens are hard to live.
Jesus is with you in this, you are never alone, for He is at your right side.

Hugs and God bless
pickles
 
Z

zis

Guest
#26
ha loo mishf. we all want to have a happy marriage . i want to believe when you met your husband you thought he was the best of all your exception were to love one other and have a happy family . A m very sorry that that had not yet come truth . you seem very determined to give your family a happy future but all you get its vice verse from your life partner. unless God build a house we all build it in vain, we ow everything to him , he is the only answer to your situation. i believe you have been looking for this answer from him for 10 years down the line and you feel like he is not coming for your aid , every prayer that you made before him he hears you ever tear that drop from your eyes he see it, God is so Faithful and great is his faithfulness,i don't know what your attitude toward you husband to be born again. I s it you want him to be a good husband and a father to your children .or is it that you want to win his soul dear .I wonder if he was a good none believer and a caring husband who knows his responsibility and a loving father you could be all that concern by his unsaved situation maybe you could be in a very comfortable zone .When we pray God look at the heart of a man .A m not judging you but am just concern. if you have a good motive believe me our God is very real he will come for your aid just hold on in your faith that you believe on. your test today will be your testimony tomorrow. Isaiah 7 Say to him, ‘Be careful, keep calm and don’t be afraid. Do not lose heart because of these two smoldering stubs of firewood. 9 b If you do not stand firm in your faith,
you will not stand at all.’”
Be strong and know God is for you.
 
R

righthandman31

Guest
#28
Hi, just seen your post, Some things are good from the answers above, I agree you should try and save the marriage. The reason your husband has cheated, is that he does not have christ in the middle of his own marriage, therefore, does not understand what God says about it. We must not condemn though, its in the past. What I see with you, is that you have a lot of mountains concerning him..... God can move those mountains, just ask him.... No matter what, By you being fruitfull, and the example by christ, he will see that, and maybe want to change. Be happy, even when he is not, because you have Jesus with you. No one can hold you back from God, he is all around you, just absorb his every moment...Ask the Lord to bring the love you once had with your husband back together, healing the the breaks in the marriage, and finding forgiveness. One thing i do, is I find bible verses, Hebrews 13:5-6 for example, and I post them in my kitchen, on the fridge, ....he will see them also...Remember, that any thing that God does is for the good. And his word will not turn void.... God Bless...
 
P

Pax10

Guest
#29
mishlf, I won't judge you--you are hurting and I know how it feels to hurt. What I will do is pray that you will find a path that leads to happiness for you and your family. I have been unhappy and treated badly at times by my husband's family and my own, and I know how it hurts. My suggestion is to seek out counseling so that your circumstances become clear and sound decisions can be made. God bless you.
 
K

Kat76

Guest
#30
While I agree with most of what you say, I would like to point out that this concept is one of the most misunderstood, and misquoted, in Scripture. The Apostle, Paul did tell women to respect, and submit to, their husbands, but he didn't stop there. He also said "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy,..." (Ephesians 5:25) I believe the implication is clear. If husbands want respect from their wives, they better be worthy of it.
.
EXACTLY! it's a two way thing.
 
H

halfmoon

Guest
#31
You said he had an affair...you can choose to stay with him but Jesus has provided you a way out:

Matthew 5:32
But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery
 
N

Nanabell

Guest
#32
I do have to say I was very interested in this post because for 16 yrs my husband I met in the church has verbally and got aggressive a couple of times. Through the years always took Pastors advice. Pretty much same advice hear. Forgive and summit. My husband stop going to church with us and verbally abuses even more since his continual drinking.I have no prove of cheating. So I feel stuck. I've been submissive faithfully and haven't left yet, but let me tell you my older kids relationships are a mess. My son verbally abuses his wife. My daughter not even married yet with her boyfriend for 6 yrs is being verbally and physically abused ( now grandchildren) fearful and emotional a mess) I have three kids at home who copy their dad in calling eachother names. I constantly have to discipline. AND I read a husband doesn't even have to earn respect.I think if you read the Bible there is Wisdom in their to. A Marriage is a mutual Promise to LOVE eachother. If both parties are not in agreement? How can they walk. This love is conditional. I again felt guilty cause of some christians and Forgave my Husband. He promised I will not call you any more names. Three days later came home drunk starts a fight like always and out comes the most filthy names. No respect for me or his family. We are human. And how anyone can say a spouse can't ruin your walk with God and your childens walk with God is Sadly mistaken. I'm planning to separate if HE ALLOWS God to change him before I file for divorce. Then there's such thing as remarriage.Don't forget those scripture were written to the church. That's why it says to the one married to an unbeliever let him depart if he chooses. But who would leave if you have a wife summiting to an uncommited comfortable avenue and seat for the Devil himself. Don't give him a foothold. When the Husband is not keeping his resposablity that's one thing. When He's being used for the Devil to destroy you and your Children. Do what Jesus would do. Tell him get behind you. And cast him out. Jesus may need you to teach him a lesson on how to Love your Wife. Then any woman would gladly submitt. Sorry so long. My mother in law a christian woman is a happy free woman after 42 yrs of abuse. Her husband never made a move to God. I'm suffering for it now and watching my older kids out of church.And practice or live with the same abuse.
 
M

mishlf

Guest
#33
Nanabell, are you on facebook? can i talk to you off this chat? I am sorry to hear you are in a similar situation..... i can't private message you, but can you pm me?
 
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Nanabell

Guest
#34
Nanabell, are you on facebook? can i talk to you off this chat? I am sorry to hear you are in a similar situation..... i can't private message you, but can you pm me?
I'm on FB Nancy Viator Goyette
 
A

asd101

Guest
#35
Why did you get married to him in the first place... What keeps you there? Sounds like your husband, isnt much of a man, sounds like a loser to me... manage the marriage? Are you doing all the work? Would you consider it a marriage... really? Or YOU taking care of another child? It's not even 50/50, you both should give 100 percent, your HUSBAND needs to step it up and become a man... He needs to get hid life straight, and the thing is, is that he doesn't want to get closer to God, if you continue this, you will be miserable,unless he says that he'll step up and do his part , the part that your marriage is missing, it will get worse and continue... If he does he will have to mean it!! Hold him to his word, and if it continues,... well then you have to make some deicisions, won't you??? Pray about it!!! Take action!!! Do you and your children deserve this???
 
A

asd101

Guest
#36
No, I don't think so... Do you???