Divorced man situation

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
E

Elisa

Guest
#1
Am I guilty for falling in love with a Christian man who was cheated on and abandoned by his wife?
 
X

xTrishy

Guest
#2
Absolutely not! Unfortunately, some marriages don't work out. People get hurt, then they find someone else. What's important is that these two don't have any ties any more, so make sure of that. Also, make sure you're not standing in the way of anything between them. If he still loves her, and wants to try to make things work then you need to respect that.

I'm dating a divorced man. For a while he was seperated, but not divorced. I would continuously tell him that if he still has feelings for her, then I understand. He had left me a couple of times for her, and I didn't stand in the way. Eventually they came to part for good, and now we're extremely happy.

Just be careful!
 
K

kenisyes

Guest
#3
Remember, you are only hearing his side of what happened when he tells you these things.
 
X

xTrishy

Guest
#4
Remember, you are only hearing his side of what happened when he tells you these things.
That is very true, and a very good point. I've been in the situation where I heard one "false" side, and once I heard the other side, it wasn't a good result. There is ways to make sure though.

You could always try just being friends, going for coffee, etc. He did just get out of a marriage, or is getting out of one, so having a friend is always great. I think the best relationships come from great friendships anyways!
 
S

s4t

Guest
#5
i believe u shouldnt have anything 2 do with some1 who was married before. i believe thats adultery. read matt. 19
 
X

xTrishy

Guest
#6
i believe u shouldnt have anything 2 do with some1 who was married before. i believe thats adultery. read matt. 19
Matthew 5:31-32

It has been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

So it really all depends on the reasoning.
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#7
When you say he abandoned his wife do you mean she was trying to reconcile with him?
 
L

lucy11

Guest
#8
if he is still married you are committing adultery I have been cheated on by my husband but I am not divorced there fore I do not consider myself eligable to date anyone and in fact I am not sure I will ever feel that way...I know one thing I am not going to cheat on God....
 
C

chuinchoy

Guest
#9
Please read Mark 10:1-10 it will give you answers to your question.
 
S

shekaniah

Guest
#10
Prayers sent for insight and wisdom for everyone involved!
Love in Christ, Shekaniah
 
I

intercessorginger

Guest
#11
Yes! You are guilty of falllling in love apparently!
I would pray about this one a lot before you make any decisions.
 
E

Elisa

Guest
#12
Thank you everyone for your replies. It's a sticky situation when things are not fully resolved (as someone else suggested before), processed and understood.

When you say he abandoned his wife do you mean she was trying to reconcile with him?
His wife abandoned (divorced) him.
 

Jon4TheCross

Senior Member
Oct 19, 2012
1,864
7
38
#13
It is true that if a person is divorced for any reason you cannot marry them. What is supposed to happen if there is a divorce is that the two should forgive each other, and stay separated or get back together, but not remarried.
Besides that, you have plenty of time to get to know God before you mess with some guy lol, but I'm not telling you to not get married, just not to someone divorced, cause it shows lack of understanding love and forgiveness, even if you're not the one who is divorced.

1Co 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
1Co 7:16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
1Co 7:17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
1Co 7:18 Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
1Co 7:19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
1Co 7:20 Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
1Co 7:21 Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.
1Co 7:22 For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord's freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ's servant.
1Co 7:23 Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.
1Co 7:24 Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.
1Co 7:25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.
1Co 7:26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.
1Co 7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
1Co 7:28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
1Co 7:29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
1Co 7:30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;
1Co 7:31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
 
B

BarlyGurl

Guest
#14
not guilty just not very smart...
if the facts are as you present them... he isn't a christian man and you really need to study the bible before you go any farther into this "relationship".
 
B

BarlyGurl

Guest
#15
not guilty just not very smart...
if the facts are as you present them... he isn't a christian man and you really need to study the bible before you go any farther into this "relationship".
Sorry i misread the question... that he cheated and abandoned not that she cheated...

I am soooooo sorry!!! going to bed no more posting for me..

please forgive me...
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#16
Luke 16:18 (ESV)
18 “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#17
Sorry, I thought your post said he abandoned his wife....but he was abandoned BY his wife.

Sweetie, God doesn't expect us to suffer for other people's sins. May you both be blessed in your relationship :). Put Christ in the center and you will be amazed at what happens.
 
Dec 14, 2009
1,400
2
0
#18
The bible says every man who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery.

To divorce my wife for someone else is adultery. If my wife leaves me, and divorces me, abandons and betrays me, how is that my doing?

Of course there is some reason why she has left, but a true knowledgable, knowing, serving, Christ following person would not divorce me for some shallow reason. So then if she is not true to him, isn't he advised to let her go and be married to someone who is like unto him? Or to remain single ...

find out why his wife divorced him. If it is her doing and not that he was abusive or something the like, then I see no reason why you cannot get involved.

If she cheated and left him for her own benifit, not because of his ill doing, then she has broken her marriage vows, not him. It is not his place to force her to stay around and it is not God's will for him to suffer for her transgressions and her defiling their marriage.

For what fellowship does an unbeliever have with a believer? In other words, how can someone who is faithful and tries to lvoe, be with someone who doesn't care for these things and is not faithful?
...............
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#19
Sweetie, God doesn't expect us to suffer for other people's sins.
Genesis 3
16 To the woman he said,

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;
in pain you shall bring forth children.
Your desire shall be for[f] your husband,
and he shall rule over you.”
17 And to Adam he said,

“Because you have listened to the voice of your wife
and have eaten of the tree
of which I commanded you,
‘You shall not eat of it,’
cursed is the ground because of you;
in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life;
18 thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you;
and you shall eat the plants of the field.
19 By the sweat of your face
you shall eat bread,
till you return to the ground,
for out of it you were taken;
for you are dust,
and to dust you shall return.”

1 Cor 15:22
22 For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive.