emotions

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mokie22yrold

Guest
#1
#1
I am separated from my husband by 2,000 miles. He want divorce. I've been doing what I can as far as working 3 jobs so I can afford an apartment. We were going to relocate here. He gave up on that plan and got involved with another woman back where he is. Ever since then I've been having a very hard time emotionally. People think he's a jerk. I still love him. I try to tell people how I feel and they think I'm feeling sorry for myself. Being separated and looking at divorce is so hard! !! I feel so uncertain. Heartbroken, at a loss of what to do at times that I just sit and cry an cry...like now. I can't stand this. I have faith and know God is with me but I'm humane and the pain is to much sometimes. Thanks for reading.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#2
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#2
mokie, divorce is always hard. But you need to stop hanging onto a marriage that is no longer in effect. Your marriage ended the second he took up with the other woman. Stop holding onto it because there's nothing there to hang on to anymore. Sign the divorce papers and move on with your life. God has great plans for you.
 
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mokie22yrold

Guest
#3
#3
Geeze...It's not that simple...i am not holding onto my marriage. I'm sharing how I feel. I can't file papers yet. I want to go get some of my personal things since we're still legally married I have right to do that then I'll file.
 
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iveseenworse

Guest
#4
#4
mokie, i love my ex-girlfriend. i moved closer to fix the problem of a long distance love. you don't know a person until you live with them. i learned she's 49% angel and 49% crazy. we split up. no one can convince me she's wrong for me. i understand the love you speak of.
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#5
#5
mokie22yrold said:
I am separated from my husband by 2,000 miles. He want divorce. I've been doing what I can as far as working 3 jobs so I can afford an apartment. We were going to relocate here. He gave up on that plan and got involved with another woman back where he is. Ever since then I've been having a very hard time emotionally. People think he's a jerk. I still love him. I try to tell people how I feel and they think I'm feeling sorry for myself. Being separated and looking at divorce is so hard! !! I feel so uncertain. Heartbroken, at a loss of what to do at times that I just sit and cry an cry...like now. I can't stand this. I have faith and know God is with me but I'm humane and the pain is to much sometimes. Thanks for reading.
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Before hubby and I met, he was moaning to a new friend about how depressed he was and how worthless he felt because he couldn't get out of it, which he equated to being a lousy Christian.

The friend was a doctor and asked, "Do you know the cause of the depression?"

Hubby sighed and said, "Well, I'm in the middle of a divorce and my father and brother died this year."

Friend laughed and said, "Well, then you're supposed to be depressed. It's a wonder you're not dead, since any one of those events could sap the life out of anyone."

(Obviously hubby survived that year, or he wouldn't be my hubby.)

So, you're getting a divorce, far from friends and family, and your emotions are all batting around the negative category?

Take heart! You're supposed to feel like that. That's why God is there to help us through. It's not expected that you should feel all rainbows and puppy dogs. You're supposed to be confused, frustrated, angry, resigned, heartbroken, frustrated, confused, beat, uncertain, exhausted, sad, depressed, resigned, etc. You're in the type of heap hubby was in -- getting a divorce and living 2000 miles away from your support system (family and friends.) That's two of the toughest things we go through heaped on one another. God isn't going to zap away all those emotions from the negative range. He will, however, give you comfort through it all. Accept that, instead of beating yourself over the head for feeling emotions -- you're supposed to be having those emotions.

The only thing worse than that is not having them. If that's the case, then I'd be worried. Throw a pillow. Beat up a pillow. Feel free to experience all the negative emotions, or you will never enjoy that first moment when something good happens to you. It will. In time.
 
sandtigeress

sandtigeress

Senior Member
#6
Apr 29, 2013
526
16
18
#6
it is difficult, i used a boxingsack for hitting
on and for holding onto, when mine simply said, there is no
love anymore towards me and some other women.
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#7
#7
sandtigeress said:
it is difficult, i used a boxingsack for hitting
on and for holding onto, when mine simply said, there is no
love anymore towards me and some other women.
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Whoa! Boxing sack? I need to get me one of those! lol
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#8
#8
as what atwhatcost said. You're not feeling anything you shouldn't be feeling. I don't know how long you and your husband were married, but I was together with my ex for about 7 years or so. It took a very long time for any emotional healing to begin. I'm now a full two years divorced, we separated about a year before that, and I'm just now beginning to get over all the pain. And truth be told, there is still pain, and probably always will be.

I'll try to be keeping you in prayers. Hearing someone say "get over it" is probably the worse thing you can hear right now. Just keep your head up, and your eyes on God. You're still his child, and if his eye is on the sparrow it is certainly on you.
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#9
#9
zaoman32 said:
as what atwhatcost said. You're not feeling anything you shouldn't be feeling. I don't know how long you and your husband were married, but I was together with my ex for about 7 years or so. It took a very long time for any emotional healing to begin. I'm now a full two years divorced, we separated about a year before that, and I'm just now beginning to get over all the pain. And truth be told, there is still pain, and probably always will be.

I'll try to be keeping you in prayers. Hearing someone say "get over it" is probably the worse thing you can hear right now. Just keep your head up, and your eyes on God. You're still his child, and if his eye is on the sparrow it is certainly on you.
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Bad news. You don't get over a divorce. The best you do is have much less pain as the years go by. Hubby and I have been married for close to 35 years, and, on occasion, he still goes back to wondering what he could have done better.
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#10
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
338
83
#10
Love hurts, especially when its a one way street. But hang tough and accept that he is moving on. I don't pretend to understand how a person can love someone who betrays them, but I can't help but think that your better off without a deceitful underhanded person like that in your life. It may not seem that way now, but a few years down the road, I think you'll agree? Love is blind, and sometimes it makes us desire things that aren't necessarily good for us. jmo
 
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pwrnJC

Banned
#11
Dec 1, 2014
1,430
27
0
#11
So sorry that you are going through this...life does not guarantee that hurts will never occur. Keep leaning on CHRIST..He knows you're in this valley and He's there for you. Do not wallow in self pity. Do not play the Blame Game. Do not instanly take a chance to always put him down. Start a fresh new hobby. Seek a bible believing church that invites the Holy spirit to be part of the worship service. Do something different for yourself...try a new hair style, get a bargain price on a summer outfit...consider voluntering your time at a soup kitchen or local charity organization. You just might be surprised at what GOD will put across your pathway as you refocus from SELF to helping others.
 
Jesus4ever

Jesus4ever

Senior Member
#12
May 18, 2015
783
19
18
#12
I´m truly sorry to know this, my dear. I understand the pain you have. Divorce is terrible and, in my opinion, is worth trying everything to maintain it. I didn´t understand one thing: is your husband also a christian?

Pray to Him. He´s the only one that can guide you and let you know what to do.


I´m praying for you.


God bless you and your marriage.
 
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Eva1218

Guest
#13
#13
Huggz this must be very hard for you but understand GOD sees you and what your heart is feeling. Allow yourself to cry their is no sin in weeping. Pray and ask GOD what you are to do and Pray for your husband now when you Pray for him do not Pray for what you want but what GOD desires such as for him to Repent and turn completely to GOD ask GOD to draw him heal him from what he is going through and restore him not just for you or anyone else but for GOD to do a work on him and his heart and through that you will begin to heal from your hurt, pain, insecurities, doubts and frustrations. Live live like all is well hold your head throw your shoulders back and speak life to you your spirit claim victory and live in it you may say it is easier said then done but understand your spirit will be refreshed and become strong enough to hold you up through it all. Do not swim in your emotions because they change too often right now you need stability to sustain and conquer and you shall it is not the storm that moves us it is seeing the storm and being afraid. Fear not

Blessings!!!!!!!
 
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