Fallen Christian

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Elisa

Guest
#1
#1
Hello everyone!
I would like some views on an issue. I have a friend who cheated on her husband and left him about 6 years ago. She went on to have a child with another man and planned to have a family with him. Now she turned back to the Lord. Should she try to get back with her ex-husband if he accepts her back? (he is still single)
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#2
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#2
I think she apologize to him and reconcile enough to be friends, if possible. That would probably go a long way in healing his hurt.

But he may not feel the same way about her that he used to.

Yes, I think it's good for Christians to mend hearts that they've hurt in the past...IF it would benefit that person. If it would cause more hurt, it may be better to leave it as it is; but take the regret to the Lord for forgiveness and ask Him to heal that person's heart.
 
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Elisa

Guest
#3
#3
Thanks for the reply, but I was asking more in the idea of what the Bible teaches about divorce between Christians. She did ask for forgiveness, the question is, should she pursue the idea of getting back with him if possible?
 
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Candy2

Guest
#4
#4
Marriage as I am now realizing is not easy at all. But some ppl keep saying that with God it makes it a whole lot better. I believe that but still need to truly experience it. The bible as much as I know says that that kind of infidelity is grounds for divorce IF he wants it BUT personally I don't like hearing about divorce like it's an achievement kinda thing. Before the whole recociling part, she should talk to her ex and see how he feels. Hope to heal his broken heart and be friends. Then see if they wanna remain just friends or fix the marriage. BUT she should not make a single move unless she cries out to God and ask him to direct her path. I love hearing about broken marriages that were healed and made so much better. I hope it works out. Remember we never want the devil to win and divorce means he has won so try her best to defeat that dumb devil. With God all things are possible.
 
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greatblue

Guest
#5
#5
1 Cor7:10-11, "And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife."
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^ This is the only explicit teaching I know of from Paul. This is a tragic story. I believe you said she left 6 years ago and had a child (were there also more, did she remarry, etc.?) I think it all comes down to her praying and asking God for guidance here. According to scripture her divorce is legal because she committed adultery. I don't know what her husband's heart is, but I believe it rests more with his willingness than hers. Were there previous children and how long was the first marriage?

God is in the restoration business. If they were to both fully surrender to Him, reconcile to each other...they should have no doubt about it...God would use it for His glory!
 
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Elisa

Guest
#6
#6
This is the verse I have in mind as well.
She did not remarry but the man she had the child with wants to have a family with her. He was not a Christian when they began their relationship but became one in the meantime. Since they both turned to the Lord they stopped living together but still care for the child together.
The first marriage lasted for 2 years and there were no children. Chances are the ex-husband may not be very open to reconciliation, but would she be allowed to marry someone else?
 
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greatblue

Guest
#7
#7
Elisa said:
He was not a Christian when they began their relationship but became one in the meantime.
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What does this mean? Nothing is impossible with God but the whole scenario sounds like a rumble. Was it that after 6 years she suddenly became convicted? Is this then the reason he just become a christian? Or did he just believe and now she is pressed to return? I think they need to seek pastoral counseling, individually first and then together.

I am no better than any other and I have failings, many, but I am floored by this kind of stuff. There is sooo much carnage caused by selfishness and the pursuit of sin. Broken hearts, children out of God's marriage covenant...mankind is so bent on ruining the beauty God gives him.
 
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CoreyMBailey

Guest
#8
#8
Yes, I do believe she should pursue the idea of getting back with her husband.

Matt. 19:6, "what God has joined together, let not man separate"

Matt. 19:8 states that Moses permitted divorce but that it wasn't that way in the beginning.

1 Cor. 7:10-11, "...Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife."

Matt. 5:32; 19:9; Luke 16:18 "whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery" If she were to marry anyone else she would also be bringing them into adultery with her therefore causing them to sin.

There are many more numerous scripture on the subject. But what's important here is what is right. These two were never meant to be divorced. Yes she did cheat and now things are even more complicated because of the baby, but if she has repented, asked her ex-husband for forgiveness and her ex-husband is willing to take her back they should definitely do it. Their love and faith will cover and heal all the wounds and maybe they could train up this child together as if their own. As far as it being ok to marry the father of her baby, the Bible says no, that she is to remain unmarried, unless she go back to her husband.
 
Kathleen

Kathleen

Senior Member
#9
Oct 13, 2009
3,570
6
38
#9
I agree and disagree on some level...

She has turned to the Lord, and in doing so, has asked for forgiveness..and received it. The best thing she could do is apologies to her first husband for all the hurt, hardship and difficulty that she may have caused it.

What is important is, its in the past.

SHE HAS A CHILD. She should not uproot her family. If she loves her current man, stay with him. And let her child live in a whole family. Not a broken one.

What she should work on ..is getting her child raised in the Love and Light of the Lord. And her childs father.

HOWEVER, the suggestion that she should go back to her ex suggests that she no longer loves her childs father.

-Kath
 
happyinhisway

happyinhisway

Banned
#10
May 29, 2012
46
0
0
#10
shes already messed up and divorced her first husband and started afamily wth her new husband. hse will nake it harder to be a believeable christian and devirce her current husband to try to go back to her first husband. she would be committing more sins. Love jesus and stay with the current husband and make it work.
 
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CoreyMBailey

Guest
#11
#11
It's always difficult when there's a child involved. And in my suggestion the child would not be growing up in the same house as the daddy. But the descision shouldn't be made based soley around the child. It should be made based upon Scripture and I believe the Scriptures say that she cannot remarry or she would be bringing the new husband into sin as well. Matt. 5:32; 19:9; Luke 16:18 "whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery". With her child she can however raise it to love it's daddy and have as much quality time with him as possible. It sounds like she loves both men, and so it would be very difficult to leave the man she's currently with. But it would be better for her to return to her husband and stay true to the scriptures.

Now if her husband is unwilling to take her back as his wife then she should stay unmarried. (1 Cor. 7:10-11, "...Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband:")
 
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simplyme_bekah

Guest
#12
#12
Depends, is that what the Lord is calling her to do? If so then yes.
 
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