Falling apart.

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Lexi777

Senior Member
Jul 5, 2014
105
8
0
#1
So. Im a teenager. I've had a rough childhood and my birth mom abandoned me. My dad has never really shown me love because i dont think he knows how. Then. My step mom comes into the picture and she changed my life i call her mom because we're so close. But like i said. My dad doesnt know how to love. My parents have been fighting so much and my (step)mom is done. She hates my dad so much. He's so selfish and he wont surrender to God. My family is falling apart before my eyes and im angry. Its to the point where my mom is probably leaving soon. Its so bad. She gave my dad the past five years to change and he hasn't. I've cried so much in the past few days its unbelievable that i havent dehydrated myself. I feel so hopeless. Yes. I have tried my very hardest to give this to God but its getting worse. I dont think my parents are meant to be and i dont think my dad is meant to be in a relationship. I just want a normal family. I've never had one a and i hate it. Im so unmotivated. All i want to do is lay in bed and cry. And i always try to pray but everytime i try, i only end up crying. God knows what i need. But i dont. I know i need god but i WANT a family. Does God think i dont need one? I have grown in my faith so much in the past year and I've looked to God in every situation and i look to God and talk to him everyday. I feel like i have a great relationship with him. But why now is it so hard for me to pray? I know God wants me to look to him before anything else. But I've done that. So why am i so broken inside. Why cant i get up in th morning and be happy. I remind myself every day that I'm grateful for Gods mercy and love. And then i hear my parents fighting and i become numb. Im to the point where i would rather not feel anymore because im in so much emotional pain. Im not even comfortable in my own home. The atmosphere is tense and awkward times ten. What do i do because i have no idea where to go from here. All i know is how i feel and i hate it so much.
 

Mitspa

Senior Member
Dec 11, 2014
16,040
124
0
#2
Sorry little sister ...Try to stay in a place of peace with the Lord...and pray always ..God sees you and your needs and He is faithful so hold fast your confession of His power in your life :)
 

G4JC

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2011
668
6
0
#3
I pray your family gets closer to God and overcomes their difficulties during this time. Also don't blame yourself for your parents emotional duress, it is difficult living in this situation but know that it is not your fault. Keep your mind on God and pray for peace. :)

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
- Isaiah 26:3
 

damombomb

Senior Member
Feb 27, 2011
3,801
66
48
#4
Have you talked this over with your Dad? How you feel.
 

Lexi777

Senior Member
Jul 5, 2014
105
8
0
#5
Thanks guys. Its so hard. I really just want to focus on God the most because he means more to me than anything. I just hate seeing this happen again.

@damombomb yeah every time i talk to him, he changes for a FEW days and then goes back to the same old ways. He only changes for those few days to clear up the problem as of it didnt happen and then he just goes back to "normal".
Ive been praying for SO long for him to change and he just gets worse. I. Dont. Get. It.
 

jogoldie

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2014
1,616
48
48
#6
Hello little sister........I'm sorry that your life has started out this way.......its not fair......
my family was never there for me......my father and I were like oil and water.....I felt no
love either......but I'm here to say that God turned my life from trash to treasure......
I found a couple of good friends.....I felt were my family.....and then when I finished school....
I did find my family......I made my own......blood doesn't make a family......love does.....
and as the years went by my family grew....and now I have people who care for me.......
its not over baby girl......God is gonna fix this for you....He gave me so much .....surrounded
me we people who really love me........He will do this for you......we are your new family here....
and we will be here for you....anytime you want to talk.....my pm is open for you......
I just wish I could hug you tight and tell you.....everything is gonna be OK.,......keep saying your prayers.......and stay out of the way of the line of fire.....God will make some good changes soon........
Joy will be coming your way.....stay faithful and watch what God can do..........I'm praying for you.....
And I hope peace and joy find you soon.........jo
 
C

cmarieh

Guest
#7
I am so sorry that you have been through much more than anyone deserves. Yes, I don't know what you are going through, but I have been friends with two people who have so I have seen first hand what a parent does to them. One of my friends was sexually assaulted and physically abused by her father and she ended up having a judge order a relocation for her, her siblings and her mom plus they had to change their names and could not have any contact with any of their friends or family. I hope you never had to experience what she did, but it is so hard to watch someone go through that. I would sit down and have a serious conversation with you dad and tell him exactly how you feel and that you love your step mom and your dad and even though their marriage may be falling apart you still want to be around your step mom because of how close you are. Do you have any family, like grandparents who would be willing to stand by your side. I want you to remember that God is your heavenly father and he will never leave you or forsake you no matter what. You did not do anything wrong and it is a problem between your father and step mom. Just keep praying and be obedient no matter what and spend more time in the word.
 
J

Jacob_Fitzgerald

Guest
#8
May the Lord grant peace unto you:)

Please lookup and read the following passages, they help me a lot when I am at a low point in life.:)


Psalm 51:16-17
[SUP]16 [/SUP]For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it:
thou delightest not in burnt offering.
[SUP]17 [/SUP]The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit:a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.


Matthew 21:42-44
[SUP]42 [/SUP]Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes? [SUP]43 [/SUP]Therefore say I unto you, The kingdom of God shall be taken from you, and given to a nation bringing forth the fruits thereof. [SUP]44 [/SUP]And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

Mark 9:49-50
[SUP]49 [/SUP]For every one shall be salted with fire, and every sacrifice shall be salted with salt. [SUP]50 [/SUP]Salt is good: but if the salt have lost his saltness, wherewith will ye season it? Have salt in yourselves, and have peace one with another.
 

wolfwint

Senior Member
Feb 15, 2014
2,895
670
113
#9
Hi Lexi777, when I was in your age long long time ago, i had nearly the same situation. My parents were fighting much. And I prayed much to God (in this time I was no christian, but i believed to God) I made my own rules. So i said to myself, if i will talk after my go to bed prayer God will not hear my prayer, that my parents will not devorce. In the age of 25 I became a christian and a new family (the children of god). My parents had devorced meanwhile. Till my father died I prayed that they will reunite. But they did not. The relationship to fellow christians became closer than my family relationships. Yes, the pain is there and seems it will not end. But i am shure the Lord has a plan for you. And a family. I pray that your parents will not devorce and that your father will turn to christ. And for you I pray that the Lord carry you through. Do not give up!
 

BurdenBarer4U

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
329
9
0
#10
Hi Lexi,
I'm so sorry to hear about the trial's and struggle that you are in!
I pray that some how the Lord will give you Peace in the midst
of your storm! I believe he can and will do it! I was just reading
this morning how David was praising the Lord for Peace in the
midst of his battles, and I believe he can do the same for you!
Twin waterfall - 2zxD0-P5vl - print.jpg

And also, maybe you could sit down with both of your parent's
either, together or separately, and explain the emotional pain
and torment that this is causing you when they fight, and ask
them to please stop doing it when your around, or at home!

You could also seek out some professional counseling, in
which can help a lot as well! And don't stop praying and believing
for your parent's, because it could be your very prayer's and
faith, that bring them to the Lord, and to their knee's!
May the Lord Jesus, so Bless You with his Peace, Love, and
strength as you stand and rest in Christ Jesus!

Also, here's a coupled of song's that I think will really uplift
and encourage your heart!!!!!!

He will carry you!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCDezqCxMFc&spfreload=10

Speak to the storm!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhWeYv9emzQ&spfreload=10

I know that I can make it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTBw84Jv79I&spfreload=10
 
N

Nurse51

Guest
#11
I am going through this wanting a family but from the wife's side. I am having trouble with my husband and looking at divorce and have tried and now just cry but I keep praying and praying. Look to your church family and you are young and one day God will bless you with a beautiful family but always remember God is all the family you will ever need and he never lets us down ever!!
 

tenderhearted

Senior Member
Dec 25, 2012
388
12
0
#12
It breaks my heart to hear all this. I come from a broken family and it hurts... In the past couple of years I've been healing from the affects of coming from a broken family. It's a wonderful thing that you are trying to make God the center of your life. Keep clinging to him because He is the one who will get you through all this. Your parents don't understand the consequences of their actions and the way that their behavior affects you-- but your heavenly father understands. This brokenness is not his desire for your family. At the end of the day, people have choice and your parents are filled with so much pain that they are making poor choices. Understand that their bad choices are no reflection of you. Remember that God can take any bad situation and turn it around for good. God has a plan for your life. If you let him, He will heal you from all this pain. Always remember you are not alone. When circumstances don't go your way... when circumstances are bad... when circumstances are good... God is always good. He never changes... He can be trusted.