gifts, wanted and unwanted

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#61
My husband and I often shop together. Just went to the feed store, tonight. It was funny because the cashier was joking that the fencing and feed was my valentine's gift to him, but the "farm stuff" is my thing...so it was his gift, to me. LOL.
haha gender stereotypes

who says men dont appreciate flowers and women dont like vaccum cleaners and hammers and nails
actually the other week I got a bargain robot vaccum cleaner Im planning to use in the library and let children borrow it for their classrooms. So they can keep them dust free (and also, they are kinda fun to watch and program).
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#62
Please remember Lanolin we must look forward never backwards.( Phil 3:12-14!) For pain and sorrow are never to be recalled.( Phil 4:7-9) For they only lead to more pain and sorrow! I learned this the hard way myself when coming home from 2 tours in Vietnam.When Jesus came into my life he cured me of P.T.S.D. and the way Holy Spirit did it was!!!!! BY HIS WORD!!!!! ( Rom 8:5-8!!!)It is not easy,if it were everyone would do it,but for my own expercience it has been very rewarding!
was I talking about pain and sorrow? I dont think I was!
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#63
I dont think you could give anything to me that triggers any bad memories since Jesus has healed me, but Im supposing you might NOT want to give anyone suffering peanut allergies peanuts for example.

I supoose its on them to say if they are allergic though.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#65
Do married couples REALLY know each other?
.

Some do, some don't. But some women play the game of "if he loves me, he should know what I want". Hubby usually asks me, but I'm busy buying gifts for my family. I go with my mother to buy gifts for dad and my nephews ( we know what's "cool"). Then I go with my father to buy for my mother. Then hubby and I go out to buy gifts for the family. Then I have to gift wrap and label them all. So he's kind of on his own when getting me gifts cause I don't have time to stop and think. He got me things this year I wouldn't have thought of but enjoyed. My mother wrapped them for my hubby because he's working long hours. So wanted to tell me so badly what he got, but she didn't. But then sometimes he has more faith in my than he should. He bought me a sewing machine because I was making pillows and sewing them by hand. Don't have a dang clue how to use one. Brought back a lot of bad memories from Home Ec. in high school. rofl Bless his heart. We'll see if I can master it, fingers crossed.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#66
the friend who gave me the bali t shirt? i couldnt think what to give her for her birthday.
I was like, hmm should I give her a t shirt that says AUCKLAND since I dont really go away anywhere.

The.n I thought maybe I could give her a cooking workshop lesson and we could go together to learn aome coooking, since she loves cooking. she was all keen
Well I couldnt find a suitable day and time that suited us both. After looking at several offerings, I was going to give up on the idea, as she said no workshop, why not just go out to eat. I can learn off you tube.
lol
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#68
Some do, some don't. But some women play the game of "if he loves me, he should know what I want". Hubby usually asks me, but I'm busy buying gifts for my family. I go with my mother to buy gifts for dad and my nephews ( we know what's "cool"). Then I go with my father to buy for my mother. Then hubby and I go out to buy gifts for the family. Then I have to gift wrap and label them all. So he's kind of on his own when getting me gifts cause I don't have time to stop and think. He got me things this year I wouldn't have thought of but enjoyed. My mother wrapped them for my hubby because he's working long hours. So wanted to tell me so badly what he got, but she didn't. But then sometimes he has more faith in my than he should. He bought me a sewing machine because I was making pillows and sewing them by hand. Don't have a dang clue how to use one. Brought back a lot of bad memories from Home Ec. in high school. rofl Bless his heart. We'll see if I can master it, fingers crossed.
I think a lot of men dont really have the time to think of gifts much.
You sort of have to forgive them for that, a lot of them dont have a clue, and then I think they panic and grab the first thing.

But then what do you do if youve forgotten that its someones birthday or anniversary.

Your husband is probably keen to figure out how to use the sewing machine himself Kayla. Im sure men could figure it out if they put their minds to it. Then he can teach you!

Is it a 'Brother' sewing machine? Well then its a guy one! Theres no sewing machine called 'Sister'
 

Billyd

Senior Member
May 8, 2014
5,217
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#69
Some do, some don't. But some women play the game of "if he loves me, he should know what I want". Hubby usually asks me, but I'm busy buying gifts for my family. I go with my mother to buy gifts for dad and my nephews ( we know what's "cool"). Then I go with my father to buy for my mother. Then hubby and I go out to buy gifts for the family. Then I have to gift wrap and label them all. So he's kind of on his own when getting me gifts cause I don't have time to stop and think. He got me things this year I wouldn't have thought of but enjoyed. My mother wrapped them for my hubby because he's working long hours. So wanted to tell me so badly what he got, but she didn't. But then sometimes he has more faith in my than he should. He bought me a sewing machine because I was making pillows and sewing them by hand. Don't have a dang clue how to use one. Brought back a lot of bad memories from Home Ec. in high school. rofl Bless his heart. We'll see if I can master it, fingers crossed.
Mama has three sewing machines that were given to her over the years. They are all in the closet. She still prefers a needle and thread. She gave one to our Granddaughter-in-law, but it's still in our closet.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#70
Mama has three sewing machines that were given to her over the years. They are all in the closet. She still prefers a needle and thread. She gave one to our Granddaughter-in-law, but it's still in our closet.
I guess it's always good to learn a new thing. So we'll see if I'm smarter than the average bear. lol
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#71
I think a lot of men dont really have the time to think of gifts much.
You sort of have to forgive them for that, a lot of them dont have a clue, and then I think they panic and grab the first thing.

But then what do you do if youve forgotten that its someones birthday or anniversary.

Your husband is probably keen to figure out how to use the sewing machine himself Kayla. Im sure men could figure it out if they put their minds to it. Then he can teach you!

Is it a 'Brother' sewing machine? Well then its a guy one! Theres no sewing machine called 'Sister'
IDK I've fixed things that hubby didn't know what to do. But he lived alone for a long time before we married so he can do anything, cooking, cleaning etc. that a woman would have to do. I remember the year I turned 19 my family forgot my birthday completely. I kind of moped around but didn't want to come out and say it. I think I waited till the next day to mention it. They got me a cake that said "lest we forget". Never have let them live that one done. lol
 

brighthouse98

Senior Member
Apr 16, 2015
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#72
No Lanolin, but there are other folks who may really have the things you talked about in there life,so my message was really to help those people. What I have also learned on this site is to never take things personal,I myself will never judge a person on here for any reason,I can strongly disagree!!! SURE. I look to be led and also guided by Holy Spirit in me. ( Rom 8:14-15) Blessing all!!
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#73
all good
the three sewing machines, thats funny, its like wedding gifts and everyone giving toasters. what do you do with 3 toasters?! My mum and dad still have wedding gifts in the cupboard they have never used.

When my friend got married she said no gifts as they had everything already, and the things they needed were super expensive (like a brand new bed) but I gave them a gift card anyway. She spent it on a school calculator for her son.

I know some weddings do a gift register thing but I have never been to a wedding that did that.
 

Billyd

Senior Member
May 8, 2014
5,217
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#74
all good
the three sewing machines, thats funny, its like wedding gifts and everyone giving toasters. what do you do with 3 toasters?! My mum and dad still have wedding gifts in the cupboard they have never used.

When my friend got married she said no gifts as they had everything already, and the things they needed were super expensive (like a brand new bed) but I gave them a gift card anyway. She spent it on a school calculator for her son.

I know some weddings do a gift register thing but I have never been to a wedding that did that.
We gave cash for many years, then we started giving gift cards about five years ago. The first year we gave gift cards for their favorite stores. That went over well. The next year and every year since, we give Visa or MasterCard gift cards. It's the best gift to give anyone.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#75
We gave cash for many years, then we started giving gift cards about five years ago. The first year we gave gift cards for their favorite stores. That went over well. The next year and every year since, we give Visa or MasterCard gift cards. It's the best gift to give anyone.
what was this for, birthdays or christmas or any occasion?

for chinese new year, parents and relatives always give cash. Only to those unmarried though. Its meant to be our pocket money for the whole year!
 

Billyd

Senior Member
May 8, 2014
5,217
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#76
what was this for, birthdays or christmas or any occasion?

for chinese new year, parents and relatives always give cash. Only to those unmarried though. Its meant to be our pocket money for the whole year!
Any occasion.
 

Tararose

Well-known member
Sep 30, 2020
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#77
I wonder how God feels with all our merger and less than perfect offerings that He has no use or need for?
Maybe like me, when a kid gives me something badly made, and probably entirely useless, but they really think it is special - and think enough of me to want me to have it.

I think God sees past the "stuff" to the heart, like with the woman who gave the couple of pennies. He honoured her as much as the woman who poured her life savings over His feet... (tut, tut, what a waste!)

Now, I don't like waste, and I don't like excess, I don't like being given things that aren't useful or practical and it used to annoy me dreadfully, but now I remember, what they do to me, they do to Christ. And Christ looks at the heart of the giver rather than passes a judgment on the gift.

I must remember that if my my cup is full .... and runs over so I have more than enough or what I want or need , I may be given things that I can share if I do not need them. Then the giver is blessed by my happiness in acknowledging the heart of the gift, and the person I eventually pass it to is blessed if the need or want it. What if receiving it with sincere thankfulness is more of a gift to the person than anything we could have done or bought for them? Isn't it about esteeming others higher than ourselves, thinking more of them and doing what builds them up?

All good gifts come from the Father at the end of the day, and if we turn away a giver, we turn away a representation of Christ. However minute the resemblance is. Especially if they are a believer or give to me because I am a believer.

Hope that helps. All this stuff shall pass away, but love remains, so we need to receive the love behind the gift and remember that is what matters to the Lord, and our reactions are what matter where we are concerned.

With the case of a married couple, who knows if the Lord uses these pointless gestures and unwanted gifts to do a work in the heart of the receiver, to teach them grace and gratitude.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#78
:)
it is the thought that counts, people often say. I am quite happy to receive anything in the spirit it is given, although sometimes I admit I dont really understand some gifts!


I recall giving gifts to people who didnt appreciate them though like giving pearls to swine or something holy to a dog, so I learned the hard way that even if its precious and worth giving not everyone will be thankful...so am not sure about that side of things, when you are a giver and people say dont give.

with this married couple, I recall the wife said to me another time about christmas gifts, she didnt like when her son gave her expensive gifts, so maybe its just she doesnt really clearly communicate what she would like? when he DID get it right, it was with a garden magazine subscription, cos she loves gardening.

I like to ask people what they would like before I give, or observe what they like to do, rather than think or assume they would like just anything or what I would like for myself...but it might take some prayer as well. as some gifts are hard to find or maybe something you have to save up for a bit.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#79
the less than perfect offerings, God dumps on me...

I had a phone call of someone who was given a gift, she didnt want it, so shes palming it off on me. But she kinda wants me to pick it up, but I dont think I will.

I kind of have mixed feelings about people going well I thought of YOU for this thing that is useless for me.
I think it would be easier for her to give it to an op shop than involve ten different people to get it delivered.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#80
what is the perfect gift anyhow.

wives what say you?
I think husbands are generally happy they dont have to cook, but a lot of men these days are really getting into cooking and taking over the kitchen lol

not my dad though. Mum disapproves of anything he tries to make for dinner.

Im born on mothers day, so I could boast *I* am the perfect gift and mum shouldnt ask anything more. Dad could just point to me and say 'I gave you our daughter'